When Vin Diesel died, the last word he uttered was "Sled". That puzzled a lot of people, because Vin was allergic to snow. After a thorough investigation, it was discovered that "Sled" was the name of a rose bud he was cultivating at the time.
While in Egypt, Vin Diesel had an affair with Isis. He grew a beard and assumed the name Moses, all in a clever ploy to flee Egypt and escape the wrath of Osiris.
"All of the visits to this site were made by Vin Diesel."
Vin Diesel uses the Holy Grail as a chamberpot.
Every time Vin Diesel masturbates, god creates a kitten.
The dinosaurs went extinct after Vin Diesel told God he thought
the dinosaurs were "a mother****ing stupid idea...dumbass." God
was embarrased and killed off all the dinosaurs. Then, Vin Diesel
gave back God's bong.
Vin Diesel will kill you by the end of the week.
Contrary to what historians want you to believe the atomic bombs
that were dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki were not actually
bombs at all, they were actually Vin Diesel's orgasms. Vin has
not had sex since, and may god help us all if he ever does.
Vin Diesel's ejaculation can kill a man at 100 yards with
pinpoint accuracy.
For every five messiahs, a Vin Diesel is born.
Vin has recorded over forty albums in at least fifteen different
genres. Those who have been fortunate enough to hear these albums say that they are "some of the greatest sounds ever recorded." None of these records have seen the light of day outside of Japan, where they are some of the best-selling albums in the country. For reasons unknown to the rest of the world, any attempts at taking one of his albums outside of the country is the single crime punishable by death in Japan.
Vin Diesel mysteriously disappeared four years ago, only to show
up at the US Embassy in Guatamala, bearing the head of Medusa. When asked how he killed her, he vaguely replied, "A quarter mile
at a time...a quarter mile at a time..."
Vin Diesel played hockey in high school but opposing teams made
him strip down to his undies as an handicap. He still won most of
the games until his momma figured what he really did every thursday evening.
Vin Diesel cannot hear the word Onomatopoeia uttered in his
presence. If it is he will stamp his foot three times and then
dissolve into a pool of locusts that will devour New Hampshire.
His teeth are each separate, intelligent beings.
You cannot kill Vin Diesel, you can merely put him into stasis. You do this by chopping off his head and placing it in a bag made of raw silk. The silk bag prevents the head from growing legs and reuniting with the body. He shaves his head to prevent his enemies (which are numerous) from having hair to grab onto, making decapitation by sword more difficult.
Vin Diesel is the father of David Bowie, whom he sired in an attempt to have sex with the planet mars.
Vin Diesel held a press conference saying he was retiring from Major League Baseball. When a reporter corrected Vin saying he never played Vin beat him to death with a giant foam "#1" finger.
Vin Diesel is better known throughout the universe as the Silver Surfer. Galactus is better known on Earth as Bill Gates.
Vin Diesel invented menstruation by punching Eve in the stomach.
Dragon Ball Z is closely based on Vin Diesel's last piano recital.
Vin Diesel is the Wandering Jew
Vin Diesel is the cause of gravity. He picked 9.8 m/s for the gravitational constant because he deemed it to be "a ****ing awesome number." And that was that.
The idea for the show "MacGuyver" comes from the time Vin Diesel
went on a road trip and single-handedly wiped out the entire population of Salt Lake City with his shoe and a paper clip.
The actions that Vin Diesel's body performs are not directed by a
normal human mind. Instead, they are the long-term policies of a vast empire of more than a billion microscopic beings who all live inside Vin's head, where time flows at a faster rate. A thousand generations of those beings live and die in the time he takes to sneeze.
