[aldo_14]

I can't beat that headline, so I stole it

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2005/08/12/britney_birth/
[q]Britney Spears' squeeze Kevin Federline wants the highly-talented chanteuse to drop her sprog on live TV, a breathless Yahoo! reports. Britney is due to eject her bun in October, and young Kev reckons - in the wake of the couple's recent ratings flop Chaotic - that the sight of the pop sensation, legs akimbo, grunting her Hollywood rugrat into the world might prove an audience-puller.

Britney is, lamentably, not so keen - not because it's about as low as you can go in terms of self-publicity - but because she's worried about how she might look on camera. A "friend" said: "Britney feels that when a woman gives birth, she's certainly not looking her best, and she doesn't want to have to worry about how she looks in front of the camera when she should be concentrating on birthing a healthy baby."

Well quite. To be fair to our Brit, her mate does add: "Britney told me that it wouldn't be Kevin screaming and crying out in pain on TV. She said giving birth should be a very private thing for just Kevin and her to share, and that she's not sure she wants the whole world looking on."

Good for you girl. But then again, Britney's pal concludes: "Britney has agreed to allow Kevin to tape the big moment with their personal video camera, and depending on the outcome and just how difficult a time she has, she says she might reconsider and allow it to air after the fact."

Hmmmm. That's all well and good, but we can't help feeling Kevin may have missed the boat here. After all, we reckon the real ratings hit would have been video evidence of the conception, complete with cervixcam to capture the explosive climax to the event.

The advantages of such a "Britney gets banged up" TV special are obvious: unlike giving birth, where you don't really have much control over proceedings, there's nothing to prevent a girl taking a quick breather so her hair stylist and make-up guru can move in to repair the damage caused by torrid rumpy-pumpy. A bit of judicious editing and viola! - an immaculately-coiffeured Brit going at it like a jack rabbit. Now that's entertainment. ®[/q]

[Rictor]

This is right out of HHGTTG. Jesus, when the most absurd paradodies start coming true, we've taken the bus the Crazy Town, folks.

[Fragrag]

Not to be newbish, but I read Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy recently, so what the hell does HHGTTG have anything to do with this?

[Rictor]

ABC anchorwoman had to leave for maternity leave. They offered her huge sum of money to have the baby on TV, but she refused. Reluctantly, they had to let her go, which is usually a phrase that has it's shoe on quite the other foot.

God, I'm such a nerd.

[ZylonBane]

"sprog"?

British tabloid English, will you never cease to amaze and confound?

[pyro-manic]

If this does happen think I'm going to secede from humanity to avoid embarrassment...

Zylon: What? Sprog's a great word!

[Wild Fragaria]

Oh dear, how could them even come up with that idea?

[Flipside]

For the attention, anyone who'd want to do this for ratings is more Ego than intellect

Some people are so pathetically shallow

[Carl]

Still, I'm sure a lot of people would watch. I have to admit that even I would have a hard time resisting watching that.

[Martinus]

[color=66ff00]*the placenta is expelled*
*Carl the Shivan faints*
[/color]

[aldo_14]

Originally posted by pyro-manic

Zylon: What? Sprog's a great word!

Thinking about it, I find it hard to think of a better word.

Bawsack, perhaps.  Or thingie (and extensions thereof).  Perhaps numpty.

[mikhael]

Originally posted by Carl
Still, I'm sure a lot of people would watch. I have to admit that even I would have a hard time resisting watching that.

I can't be arsed to watch Farscape when it airs and I actually LIKE that. Why would anyone watch some squicky self-promoting crap perpetrated by someone most of us are quite willing to agree we don't like? Is it the Monkey Complex?

[aldo_14]

Why do people drive slowly past a car crash?

[mikhael]

Duh. That's what the Monkey Complex is about.

[kode]

Originally posted by aldo_14
Why do people drive slowly past a car crash?

they don't want to run over the survivors?

[MicroPsycho]

cause they are idiots?

...sauce is also a great word...

[aldo_14]

Originally posted by mikhael
Duh. That's what the Monkey Complex is about.

Oh.  I thought it was some reference to eating bananas and throwing your faeces at strangers.

[kode]

Originally posted by aldo_14


Oh.  I thought it was some reference to eating bananas and throwing your faeces at strangers.

that's irregular behaviour?

no wonder they look at me in an odd way.

[aldo_14]

That's irregular behaviour in Sweden?

Damn lying Lonely Planet bastards.

[mikhael]

The Monkey Complex is what causes otherwise rational people to shut off their concious brains, and stare at an event, often pointing and going "oooh ooh! ooooh ooooh ooh!" Usually seen first in schoolyard fights, and later on highways as people rubberneck their way past an accident.

People often say later that whatever brought on the Monkey Complex was "like watching a trainwreck", meaning it was horrible but somehow grimly interesting in a morbid way.

See also "NASCAR Fans"