[Fineus]

Hail all.

I turn to HLP to request advice regarding delicious pasta dishes to cook for lady folk. I'm not much of a chef but will do my best with this one.... so if any of you have some super-secret delicious recipes or know of a website that might help, kindly hit me back

Cheers!

[Hellstryker]

Hmmm, my grandma knows one, but i'm not too fond of it myself... don't get me wrong, i like garlic, but not heaping mounds of it

[Jeff Vader]

If you ask me, there is nothing like fusilli, some kind of chicken and Thai Kitchen Hot Chili Sauce, all mixed together. ...though I'd guess it doesn't really work, if the goal is to charm a dame.

[Colonol Dekker]

Spag bol. Aka spaghetti bolognaise. Worth a google.

[achtung]

I remember making a thread about pasta once.

If I could remember the recipe, I'd tell you how to make this awesome shrimp/alfredo/angel hair spaghetti thing.

[redsniper]

Oh, you're serious. When I saw "Delicious Pasta" I just thought... well... too much 4chan...

[achtung]

Oh, you're serious. When I saw "Delicious Pasta" I just thought... well... too much 4chan...

I did too. 

Just to make myself feel better, I'll actually throw some copypasta in.

HI, I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND C.E.O. OF MEN'S WEARHOUSE. WHILE MY MASSIVE MENTAL FACULTIES ARE ADVANCED FAR BEYOND THE SILLY AND SUPERSTITIOUS SPIRITUALITY SPOUTED SENSELESSLY IN SUNDAY SERMONS, ALL BUSINESSMEN KNOW THE ADVANTAGES OF KEEPING UP A PIOUS PUBLIC PERSONNA. IT WAS WITH THIS IN MIND THAT I RECENTLY VISITED A LOCAL CHAPEL, THOUGH AS YOU WILL SOON LEARN, THINGS TOOK A TURN FOR THE TEMPTING, IN TYPICALLY TAWDRY, TITTILATING ZIMMER FASHION.  ALL WAS PROCEDING ACCORDING TO PLAN UNTIL MY WANDERING GAZE FELL UPON THE ROUND, ROBED RELIGIOUS RUMP OF THE CHOIR DIRECTOR, A SEDUCTIVELY SLENDER SAINT SINGING SENSUOUSLY ON STAGE. DESPITE MY DILIGENT DESIRE TO DEMONSTRATE DEVOUT DEDICATION AND DERAIL MY DIRTIER DISPOSITIONS, MY MIRACULOUSLY MIGHTY MANMEAT MESSIAH BURST FORTH WITH A FLASH OF HEAVENLY LIGHT, RISING FROM ITS TROUSERY TOMB LIKE THE RESURRECTED CHRIST. THE ANGELIC AUBURN-HAIRED ARTISTE ARRESTED HER AURAL ADMINISTRATION AND RENT HER ROBES, BEND MY PERENNIALLY PASSIONATE PENILE POWERHOUSE PARTED HER PUBES LIKE MOSES BEFORE THE RED SEA. AS I BAPTISED THE BODACIOUSLY BUXOM BIBLE-BANGER BY SPEWING A SALACIOUSLY SINFUL SURGE OF SACREMENTAL SEMEN INTO HER HERETICALLY HOT HOLY OF HOLIES, SHE SANG NOTES ONLY AUDIBLE TO THE HIGHEST CHOIRS OF ANGELS. THE VIRGIN MARY'S BEEN PROPOSITIONING ME IN VISIONS EVER SINCE. I GUARANTEE IT.

[Colonol Dekker]

Well if that's not HLP tact gone mad i just give up. . .

[karajorma]

Spag bol. Aka spaghetti bolognaise. Worth a google.

Any fool can cook spag bol though so it's not going to impress much. My advice, Quick Cannelloni. It's actually pretty easy to make but it makes you look like a contestant off of masterchef if you do it correctly. Apart from needing different pasta you can pretty much do it with the stuff you'd use to make a spag bol anyway and it's not really significantly harder as it's basically made by making spag bol but keeping the tomato and meat parts of the sauce separate.

Basically fry the meat as if you were making spag bol. Add the seasoning (salt, pepper and some herbs like basil or oregano if you have them, and a splash of red wine if you have some cheap stuff lying about). Don't add the tomatoes/jar of dolmio though, you just want fried meat. Then stuff the meat into the cannelloni. That sounds hard but it's as simply as piling the meat in a corner of the pan and shoving the cannelloni into it a few times so it squelches its way up the tube.

Now take a tray, pour some dolmio onto the bottom (or make your own the same way you would for a spag bol and just miss out the meat). Put the cannelloni in. Pour more sauce over the top to cover it. Grate a load of cheese on the top to make the topping. Stick in the oven for about 30 minutes till the cheese has melted.

Watch the expression on your lady friend's face when you bring that out of the oven.

[Colonol Dekker]

I can cook. I just <3 spag bol is all. cabonara is another of my faves. I just can't write recipies to save ones life.

[karajorma]

I'm not saying that cooking spag bol means you can't cook (I cook it often myself). Just that it's known for being easy and thus not as likely to impress.

[Col. Fishguts]

Make some pesto on your own, like pesto rosso or the like. Believe me, it impresses the ladies

[Colonol Dekker]

Lol i didn't take it as an insult. I'm for using some gourmet to greas the wheels on the train to happytown. But drivings the way to finish the journey

[karajorma]

One of the ironies of women's lib is that it's left us with an entire generation of women who are no more likely to be able to cook than men are. Which actually gives men an incentive to learn as now the ability to cook is something women look for in a partner rather than the other way around.

[lenard27]

Gnochi is always good. If you ever need to impress or woo me, I'd advise you make that. But I doubt that's ever gonna happen haha.

[JGZinv]

Mine's a relatively simple dish that's had positive reviews from about 40 people...

I call it "Glop" (might not want to mention that unless she has a sense of humor)
It's sort of a heavy stroganoff with garlic and cheese, but without the tangy flavor of sour creme.

What's involved:

1. bag of extra wide egg noodles
2. jar of garlic Alfredo sauce
3. jar of mushroom Alfredo sauce
4. Italian seasonings and garlic salt
5. White cheddar shredded cheese or other white mild-sharp cheese
6. canister of grated Parmesan cheese
7. 2 pounds lean ground beef (could be 1 depending on how much you eat)
8. kernel corn or similar (optional)

Basically you combine the sauces and canister of Parmesan cheese in a dutch oven, let that heat on low so that it
liquefies better. Remember to stir it and adjust heat so not to scorch it. You should be browning
your hamburger now. Put in your seasonings into the sauce - mix that on up - how much is really
to taste... I make mine pretty heavy on the garlic salt (garlic power can work too if the salt element is too much).
Your noodles should be either in another dutch oven boiling by now or about to be.

Now you can add your shredded cheese now... and get that to mix into the sauce so it's good and thick... or you can wait
after you've drained and added the hamburger to the sauce. Doesn't particularly matter. If you've cooked corn or something
else to go in the mix you could put that in now too.

Drain your noodles once they are the appropriate softness and texture, don't rinse them. Use butter and the Italian
seasonings on the noodles.

Put the noodles on a plate, put the sauce and hamburger mixture on top of that in a moderate amount.
Serve with bread and/or other vegetable.

[phreak]

...

ahhh the alliteraton

[JGZinv]

Some other dishes to look up...

Veal or chicken parmigiana
Farfalle Carbonara - http://find.myrecipes.com/recipes/recipefinder.dyn?action=displayRecipe&recipe_id=222679
Rotini Chicken, Asparagus, and Tomato - http://find.myrecipes.com/recipes/recipefinder.dyn?action=displayRecipe&recipe_id=1673051

One of my favorites

Farfalle with Chicken, Artichoke Hearts & Parmesan
http://www.consorzio.com/catalog/display_recipe.php?recipe_id=268

[karajorma]

Gnochi is always good.

What sauce do you make it with? I've made (store bought) gnochi a few times myself but usually I just stick some pesto on it cause I've got no real idea what to do with it.

[Mobius]

Gnochi is always good. If you ever need to impress or woo me, I'd advise you make that. But I doubt that's ever gonna happen haha.

You mean gnocchi...

EDIT: It would be "gnocchi are" as it is the plural form, singular one being "gnocco".