I've come to appreciate my parent's teachings when it comes to having adult/mature conversations
If only my best friend could of had the same chance
She's older than me, and has a very short window when it comes to A-Ok to I'm going to personally insult you (as in, use emotional and personal based insults which are really, really painful to hear from your best friend) and basically **** on our friendship
Why? Well that's an entirely good question
One Monday, things were good. Had watched her stream for a long while, it ended, decided to catch some sleep. Five hours later, I wake up, say hi, see how things are going to which the response is an overall "Things are fine". So I figured it'd be an okay time for me to discuss some things I had on my mind which came from the previous Friday later that evening as I was heading out. She said alright
I come back, she had gone to sleep, no big deal, I had resolved the problem on my own time over the weekend anyhow and was just looking for some thoughts and feedback
So I say hi to hear the next day, see how's she's doing. Her response was that there was a lot on her mind but that I had wanted to talk to her last night so go ahead, talk. My response was that my stuff can wait, what's up?
This is where personal insults come into play. Along the lines of "You didn't care last night so, talk"
Yes well, I didn't know last night something had happened, good on you for mentioning that. Only I said that a little more peacefully as in "Oh, I didn't know something was going on"
Thus starts her ranting about me, and a couple days later her desire to avoid me for an indefinite amount of time, that I'm a selfish twat, other hurtful things while I on the opposite end, was simply ignoring the insults and just focusing on what was going on with her. More "you don't ****ing care 'best friend' " and since she didn't want to talk about her personally, I turned the focus to her feelings towards me and why that was. "Oh sure, make it about YOU"
****, no this is about YOU and how YOU feel. Yes I'm directly involved in the particular conversation about how YOU feel, but that doesn't make it about me because I'm not talking about how you're making ME feel by making me out to be the worst person imaginable
Three days of silence because space is always nice right?
"Hello"
"The **** do you want?"
I mean, did I kill your dog? Break your heart? Do the unspeakable? Jesus
"Just checking in to see how you're doing, that's all"
"K, you did. Bye"
So, more space, say hello
Nothing was ever said back
Meanwhile I'm confused as all hell and wondering if the friendship is even a friendship anymore, but I intend to just keep being the fellow who sticks by his best friend even if they're currently ignoring and avoiding them for an unknown reason.
I just know something happened Monday, I asked if she wanted to talk about it and got a very, very resounding "No"
So yeah, I appreciate having learned how to remove emotions from a conversation in order have an open line of communication without the copious amounts of personal attacks and to prevent escalating the situation.
So any sort of thoughts or what I ought to do would be nice. I've already heard "drop the person out of your life" and I'm not prepared to do that out of principle. I don't leave friends because they're being difficult as that's precisely when they *need* people who see past their bull**** deflections and are there for them
