[perihelion]

It's possible to just exhaust the value of a relationship.

And it's possible that Nuke is right and people are just a bunch of flaming assholes who need a mushroom cloud up their collective asses.   

Look.  If you go into something like a marriage expecting it to fail, then you have no one but yourself to blame when it does.  Marriage takes commitment, because it isn't going to be hearts and flowers start to finish.  There are times you are going to want to scream in frustration.  There are times you are going to want to be cruel and "get even."  There are times you probably are going to give in to those urges.  Times she will as well.  Each time, heck, each morning, you have to decide again that this relationship is more important than your pride.  You both put the other before yourselves.  Because together, you are stronger than you are separately.  Because you have someone to share both your victories and your defeats with.  Someone to lick your wounds before you go back out into the fight.

I've seen my grandparents in their old age.  They made each other coffee, pulled out a chair for each other, each of them was putting the other first, and it mattered.  Those kindnesses, little, insignificant though they might have seemed to an outsider, meant all the world to them.  It made them happy.  That's what I want.  That's what I'm willing to fight and sacrifice for.  Anyone who is willing to walk away just because, "Well, I'm just not feeling it anymore," shouldn't have gotten married in the first place, and has no business doing it again.  They'll just be putting yet another through the wringer to sacrifice to their own selfish need.  [/rant]

[Lorric]

It's possible to just exhaust the value of a relationship.

And it's possible that Nuke is right and people are just a bunch of flaming assholes who need a mushroom cloud up their collective asses.   

Look.  If you go into something like a marriage expecting it to fail, then you have no one but yourself to blame when it does.  Marriage takes commitment, because it isn't going to be hearts and flowers start to finish.  There are times you are going to want to scream in frustration.  There are times you are going to want to be cruel and "get even."  There are times you probably are going to give in to those urges.  Times she will as well.  Each time, heck, each morning, you have to decide again that this relationship is more important than your pride.  You both put the other before yourselves.  Because together, you are stronger than you are separately.  Because you have someone to share both your victories and your defeats with.  Someone to lick your wounds before you go back out into the fight.

I've seen my grandparents in their old age.  They made each other coffee, pulled out a chair for each other, each of them was putting the other first, and it mattered.  Those kindnesses, little, insignificant though they might have seemed to an outsider, meant all the world to them.  It made them happy.  That's what I want.  That's what I'm willing to fight and sacrifice for.  Anyone who is willing to walk away just because, "Well, I'm just not feeling it anymore," shouldn't have gotten married in the first place, and has no business doing it again.  They'll just be putting yet another through the wringer to sacrifice to their own selfish need.  [/rant]

Look, that's what I ideally want too. But we're talking about a lifetime here. How can you possibly know you will want to spend a lifetime with someone? At the time you might both believe it is exactly what you want, but a lifetime is a very long time. People can change an incredible amount over a lifetime. Sometimes it's better for two people to separate than stay together and cause each other pain. Rather than be stronger together they can end up weighing each other down more than if they were apart.

[deathfun]

Please

Reason why **** like that fails is because during the dating process people change themselves in a way to make the other person like them more. When they get married, they end up having to keep up that ruse for longer than they're able to

People don't change. At least not in any ways that matter

You'll know when you want to spend the rest of your life with someone when you meet that person who develops you just as much as you develop yourself. Where that person becomes you just as much as you are yourself, and if that person goes, half of you dies with them. Where you can both not be mad long enough because a smile on both of your faces when you look into one another's eyes is why you fell in love in the first place

[Nuke]

It does seem a lot more reasonable when you put it into nuances like that. Although I do find it a stretch that someone would quit a happy relationship out of... boredom? I think it is safe to assume that something would be involved in such a case.

It's possible to just exhaust the value of a relationship.

"love is like a pimple, once you squeeze the juices out it just goes away."

[deathfun]

Value is what you make it

[Nuke]

that was off of a certain parody of the gambler.

[InsaneBaron]

It's possible to just exhaust the value of a relationship.

And it's possible that Nuke is right and people are just a bunch of flaming assholes who need a mushroom cloud up their collective asses.   

Look.  If you go into something like a marriage expecting it to fail, then you have no one but yourself to blame when it does.  Marriage takes commitment, because it isn't going to be hearts and flowers start to finish.  There are times you are going to want to scream in frustration.  There are times you are going to want to be cruel and "get even."  There are times you probably are going to give in to those urges.  Times she will as well.  Each time, heck, each morning, you have to decide again that this relationship is more important than your pride.  You both put the other before yourselves.  Because together, you are stronger than you are separately.  Because you have someone to share both your victories and your defeats with.  Someone to lick your wounds before you go back out into the fight.

I've seen my grandparents in their old age.  They made each other coffee, pulled out a chair for each other, each of them was putting the other first, and it mattered.  Those kindnesses, little, insignificant though they might have seemed to an outsider, meant all the world to them.  It made them happy.  That's what I want.  That's what I'm willing to fight and sacrifice for.  Anyone who is willing to walk away just because, "Well, I'm just not feeling it anymore," shouldn't have gotten married in the first place, and has no business doing it again.  They'll just be putting yet another through the wringer to sacrifice to their own selfish need.  [/rant]

*Applause 

[Nuke]

there are lots of nice women out there who just want to ****. you should try to find out who they are and avoid all the relationship crap.

[Sololop]

You're all nuts. Everyone is different, nobody can predict how a relationship will go. If you're in love, just do it and don't think so gosh darn hard about it! I think you guys worry about relationships more than you ever need to.

[deathfun]

Actually, if you base your prediction off of the precedence set by the two individuals and how they react to certain situations, yes you can predict how a relationship will go

You just can't predict how something will go based on the precedence set by *other individuals* tis all



And people worry because it's a big deal for them. If something is a big deal, you can't just let it go with the flow. You'll instinctively want to be able to control it in some fashion

[MP-Ryan]

I'm perpetually amused by marriage/long-term-relationship-related advice coming from young people who are not in either.  It's something akin to taking advice on what car to buy from a person who's never even seen one.  Relationship advice and legal advice on the Internet come with the same caveat:  you get what you pay for.

[deathfun]

It's something akin to taking advice on what car to buy from a person who's never even seen one

Shoddy example. By saying "never seen one" in your analogy implies that we've never seen a long term relationship

I also disagree that advice that comes from people who have never personally experienced makes that advice crap. A lot of what people learn is by observing and watching other people, noticing their quirks, listening to how they do what they do. From that, you gain advice to pass on to other people

Legal advice though, well that's something different entirely. You're no longer dealing with humans. You're dealing with lawyers! Therefore human advice is useless because human

[Nuke]

the longest term relationship i ever had was 100% sexual in nature. it went on about 4 years with ons and ofs now and again. i can still get in her pants if i happen to be in the same state at the time (last i heard shes in texas and im not going to texas). its when i try to do things the 'normal' way that i fail. when i date and fall in love, the girl isnt interested/gets raped/strings me along/is moving/is in another state/is crazy/is a nazi/is a bible thumper/is a druggie/doesnt like cats. something always goes wrong. so i stick to the formula that works for me, boning mature sex addicted fat women.

[MP-Ryan]

I also disagree that advice that comes from people who have never personally experienced makes that advice crap. A lot of what people learn is by observing and watching other people, noticing their quirks, listening to how they do what they do. From that, you gain advice to pass on to other people

Everyone has inherent biases when it comes to opinion.  When it comes to opinion about relationships and you want a successful one, you're better off seeking advice from people whose inherent biases stem from successful ones.

If, on the other hand, you want dysfunctional or sexual relationships only, then it appears from his own statements that Nuke is your guy

[deathfun]

Totally. He's got that **** down pat!

But you can at least agree that the advice is here has quite the range of opinions! From cynical to lighthearted to get ****ed by hookers
Asking only successful people about relationships doesn't give you a good devil's advocate. They're too happy. I hate it.

Advice isn't always the person giving its opinion though. I don't believe in happy endings, but that doesn't stop me from saying that you're going to make it if you believe in whatever and work through it with your partner and then give a relevant example. It's advice, but not one that comes from my own bias. That was my point at any rate in the half serious half joking method of delivering it

[Colonol Dekker]

Did I mention I started my prison job this week?

Oh yes.....  I can has need buy gunmetal aviators.

[Klaustrophobia]

My new 500w 5.1 system has arrived.  I've finally got rocksmith to stop being retarded about my x-fi sound card.  Time to piss off my neighbors.

Except I might need longer wires for the rear speakers.  And I can't just wall mount them with a nail, which I find to be a pretty glaring and stupid design flaw.

[deathfun]

Red Green it
(Duct tape if you didn't get the reference)

[Nuke]

my stereo system is two 1970s full range speakers and a chinese made class d stereo amplifier, no frills. it has 3 knobs and a switch (i love knobs). which is all a good amp needs. i can double it up if i want to go quadrophonic. ive always hated 5.1 surround, its needlessly complicated to instal and doesn't sound to great either.

[Colonol Dekker]

Moral crisis.

Read file on non registered sex offender. In short a youth (under 20) convicted of theft. Past offenses list rape of an under 16 year old.

I feel the need to disseminate this fact to those on his wing.

I just need to convince myself this is worth the risk to my employment.


Dun dun duuunnnnnnnnnnn.....