[Gortef]

[LtNarol]

On board the LNCa Sillier

Lt. Narol: Wheres that com channel you were supposed to open?

Ed: Its been open sir.

Lt. Narol: It has? Well why didnt you say anything?

Ed: You didnt ask me to say anything sir.

Lt. Narol: O nevermind.  This is the LNCA Sillier to the little ship with the blue spinning part, we have chosen not to sillify you for the time being.  I propose a truce, the GTAD Thunder would look much better painted on my hull.

[Shrike]

He's trying to get out of range.  I don't believe this.  How does he expect to pull that off?  That ship had better be a real sleeper.

Hey, why don't you do something really evil?

Let me guess.  Displace some of those head-hunting Vasudans onto the Aquila?

Well, I was going to say effector their engines, but that works as well.

Suddenly, a number of silvery spheres appear on the bridge of the Aquilla.  Popping out of existance, they reveal an entire host of shambling Vasudans.

Thunder - "Oh dear god, Vasudan Zombies!  RUN!"

Zombies - "Headz.........."

[Fineus]

Without warning the GTAD Thunder slews out of control and begins a slow descent towards a neaby sun as her navigational officer has been eaten.

What will become of the GTAD Thunder?

Will Admiral Avery make it off the ship? And how can there be an Admiral Avery on both the Thunder and the Aquila?

Will Arthur ever get a cup of tea out of the Heart of Gold?
 
Find out in next weeks exciting installment of the Hitch Hikers Guide To The Galaxy.

[Dranon]

The GTDx Aquitaine falls out of subspace...

Everyone stares in silence at the Aquitaine...

It looks like it was taken through a meat grinder.  Pieces hanging off in odd places, half the hull is crumpled...

Admiral Dranon: I thought you said this area of space was unoccupied...

Nameless Lt:  It showed up empty on the sensors...  That Vasudan AWACS must have been jamming the sensors...

 Suddenly the ships power goes out... There is a thump, then silence

Admiral Dranon: Ensign, put the Lt. in an escape pod, and send him off to the AWACS.  Include a message saying that this is a peace offering, and they can have his Head for thier Headz collection.  Then get this rumbling piece of junk to the nearest shipyard...

 The Aquitaine, peices slamming into each other, slowly starts on its way to the nearest jump node...

*First time i have my own flagship, so forgive me... *

[wEvil]

What will become of the GTAD Thunder?

Someone will come up with a technobabble solution 5 minutes before certain death

Will Admiral Avery make it off the ship? And how can there be an Admiral Avery on both the Thunder and the Aquila?

I dont have a  clue.  Maybe he was cloned?

Will Arthur ever get a cup of tea out of the Heart of Gold?

Nope, he'll get a pint of guinness if I have anything to do with it!

[Fineus]

Dude! You ruined the ending, you shall pay for this my preciousesss....

Anyways, since sombody cough wEvil cough ruined the story I may as well bring everyone up to date on developments on board the Thunder...

As we last left the Thunder she was falling towards a local sun as her helmsman had been eaten by a pack of Vasudan Zombies™...

Admiral Avery: Damage report!

Engineering Officer: Shields weakening, hulls beginning to take hits from solar matter and our entire supply of ships hot water bottles were mistaken for inflatable heads by the Vasudan Zombies™ and eaten! Oh, and sir... Counciler Boi feels... something...

Admiral Avery: Dammit, have her shot. Get me someone who can fly this damn thing before we all die!

Enter Ensign Crusher...

Admiral Avery: Oh ****.

Ensign Crusher: I shall save the day! Engineering get me an inverse kintic tachyon surge through the main arrays - bounce it off that little green ship we just flew past.

Engineering Officer: The Starbug?

Ensign Crusher: Yes, fire.... now!

A beam of light bounces off the Starbug, instantly removing all hair from the crews bodies and cooking the last surviving Space Weevil on the ship.

Engineering Officer: We're still falling!

Ensign Crusher: I know.

Admiral Avery: Your crazy!

Ensign Crusher: I know.

Admiral Avery: Um, right.... Engineering! route all navigation to my console.

Engineering Officer: Yessir! Done.

Admiral Avery -  outstanding pilot, dashing space hero and resident sex icon for trout everywhere proceeds to execute the most tightly completed 760 degree half-pipe mickeey maneuver ever seen. The GTAD Thunder, having completed a sling shot maneuver around the sun finds it'self five minutes into the past.

Admiral Avery: Beam Admiral Avery over from the -5 minute Thunder, I've always liked me.

Engineering Officer: As you wish, transport complete sir.

Admiral Avery: Good, Now ready my personal fighter and give Admiral Avery command of the Thunder. I've just recieved word that construction on the Aquila has begun, I shall take her back here as soon as she is completed.

And so Admiral Avery relinquishes command to himself, and leaves for his new charge - the TD Aquila! Meanwhile the last of the Vasudan Zombies™ are lured into the cargo hold by showing pictures of the Alien Queen around the ship along with directions there. They are promtly sealed in and released into deep space. The Thunder returns to the outskirts of the system to observe proceedings from a safe distance....

[wEvil]

Originally posted by Thunder

Anyways, since sombody cough wEvil cough ruined the story

you know you love it

[Dranon]

Hmm.. two Admiral Avery's... somehow that worries me...

[Shrike]

Originally posted by Thunder
Admiral Avery -  outstanding pilot, dashing space hero and resident sex icon for trout everywhere proceeds to execute the most tightly completed 760 degree half-pipe mickeey maneuver ever seen. The GTAD Thunder, having completed a sling shot maneuver around the sun finds it'self five minutes into the past.

How the **** do you end up a sex icon for TROUT?  Please explain that one, Cannon. You're the brains of this outfit.

Do you really want to know?

Do I want to?

No.

[Corsair]

*Corsair warps in in his Herc. Mark IIIIVXXXX*

Meet the newest version of the Hercules fighter everybody! The Herc Mk. IIIVXXXX! I think I'll just fly around for a while and let you guys destroy each other, then clean up what's left...of that ship with the blue rotating thingies

*opens up a channel to Lt. Narol*
Corsair: Lt. Narol, my friend, I think we need to talk about an alliance - against that little annoying ship with the blue rotating thingies. And also, if you're going to command a large ship, you need to have a better title than Lieutenant. With your big ship and my little fighter that Bobbau made for me with 900 hardpoints and 600 missle banks, we can easily destroy it! So whaddaya say?

[LtNarol]

On board the LNCa Sillier

Ed: Sir, we have an incoming transmission.

Lt. Narol: The little ship with the blue spinning part is responding?

Ed: No sir, its another little ship, even smaller.  Says it wants to kill the little ship with the blue spinning part.

Lt. Narol: Kill the little ship with the blue spinning part? I just proposed a truce to that ship, it would be awefully in appropriate to go kill it now.

Ed: What do you want to do the?

Lt. Narol: Bring us around, power to the Terran Turret#weak  and close on that little ship without the blue spinning part.

Ed: The Hercules MK IIIIVXXXX you mean?

Lt. Narol: Yes, that annoying little thing, i want it gone.  Bridge to gunnery control, [Grand Moff Tarkin voice]you may fire when ready.[/Grand Moff Tarkin voice]

[Corsair]

Onboard Corsair's Herc Mk. IIIIVXXXX
*Powers up all 900 hardpoints and opens fire on the LNCa Sillier*

Computer AI Helm: Core overload! Core overload!
Corsair: Dammit! Bobbau promised me that this ship would work! Then again, he does say "bringing you MODs that work...in theory." Hmmm...open a channel to the Sillier! I want a truce with him immediately, and for God's sake, get him to stop targeting me with that incredibly powerful terranturret#weak!

*Opens channel*

Corsair: Lt. Narol, I propose a truce. I unload 20 cases of Bosch Beer on you that I just picked up at a Seven Eleven on my way over here which will make for more reactor power (cuz I'm keeping it very very very cold) and you stop targeting me with that one incredibly powerful terranturret#weak! Then maybe we can talk about getting some kills today...

[LtNarol]

Meanwhile, on board the LNCa Sillier

Ed: Sir, that little ship we're targetting is communicating again, shall I respond?

Lt. Narol: Nah, keep up fire.

Ed: But sir, he says he has 20 cases of cold Bosch Beer on board.

Lt. Narol: WHAT? Take out his engines now!  Then dispatch a support ship to retrieve the beer.

Ed: Yes sir!

A sinister laugh fills the bridge of the LNCa Sillier

[Corsair]

Onboard Corsair's Herc Mk. IIIIVXXXX

Computer AI (renamed AI Janson): The Sillier is still firing at us sir, but I have our reactor back online! I think that they're trying to take out our engines and take all of the Bosch Beer!
Corsair: Now we can't have that! Turn off the refrigerator and put all power into missile bays! Fire all spacecrack missles at the Sillier and try to get her crew so high that they won't be able to see straight, let alone fire straight!

*presses button that sends 600 spacecrack missles hurtling towards the Sillier*

Corsair: [Dr. Evil Laugh]Mwuahahahahahahaha[/Dr. Evil Laugh]

[LtNarol]

On board the LNCa Sillier

Ed: Sir, i think that Herc is trying to get us high, hes firing SpaceCrack missiles at us.

Lt. Narol: Damn, what a waste of SpaceCrack, whats the status of the....*gets high, starts seeing funny colors*

Ed: The what sir? The...*gets high, starts seeing funny colors*

Random crewman: Hmm, i think the Lieutenant's getting h...*gets high, starts seeing funny colors*

Monkey hanging off the ceiling: *gets high, starts seeing funny colors*

[Corsair]

Onboard Corsair's Herc Mk. IIIIVXXXX

Corsair: Janson! Open up a channel to the Sillier and see if they will form a truce now! Maybe that spacecrack did its job...meanwhile, get me an ice cold Bosch Beer and for all that is holy, turn the refrigerator back on!
Janson: Ahhh yes sir! But shouldn't we send over a boarding party to the Sillier?
Corsair: Ummm Janson? You're forgetting that this is a one man fighter! We don't have any boarding parties!
Janson: Oh right sir!
Corsair: Hmmm...I think we should also rename the Sillier the Higher! And if Narol is going to command that ship any more, he needs a proper title, like High Commander!

*Opens a comm channel to the Silli- errr Higher*
Corsair: So High Commander Narol! Will you cooperate now in order to get your Bosch Beer?

[LtNarol]

On board the LNCa Sillier

Lt. Narol: a ake licemod jowode fijre jenif dok?

Ed: kek dejenif bonwidej efevoj dejewikof jovceb wiwo quo oww ivjije
 
Lt. Narol: eer oiu fhdo i ehge ien?

Ed: kei gidjek lejeipo dokeke iwow o eiuvivie inei wev

Monkey falls from ceiling, lands on switch.  Everything goes dark for a moment.  

Computer: Power redirect complete...SillyBeam 1 online, SillyBeam 2 online, SillyBeam 3 online.  Selecting Target: searching for nearest hostile, hostile found: contact F01928.  Target Selected, firing weapons.

[Corsair]

Onboard Corsair's Herc Mk. IIIIVXXXX

Janson: Sir?
Corsair: Yub yub!
Janson: Sir snap out of it!
Corsair: Yub yub!
Janson: Sir, stop playing with the ewok doll!
*Robotic arm extends and gives Corsair a Bosch Beer*
Corsair: Much better! Now since he's targeting me again, I think that I'll make him shoot at his allies! Janson! Set a course for that Setekh over there and get behind its Arrays... [Dr. Evil Laugh]mwuahahahahaha[/Dr. Evil Laugh]
*Herc Mk. IIIIVXXXX hides behind Arrays to stop Sillybeams from completely overloading MOD that doesn't even work...*

[LtNarol]

On board the LNCa Sillier

Lt. Narol: Hiz runib, awe spee a'ed, dun le im exoop!

Ed: Yeh hiw!  Dibewting awe abaiwable powew to engineh hiw!

Lt. Narol: Hiz hidin en da aways, howl yur fiwer

Ed: Yeh hiw!

Lt. Narol: Led da liddle swip wit da bleu swinnin pats tak cae ob im.  Sed a supord swip bawk ta Epesloin Paguse ta ged fuol and beeh.

Ed: Yeh hiw!