[Scotty]

Yeah, well it ends badly for the older party when they get convicted of statutory rape. 

Funny how that works, huh?

[iamzack]

Rapists of any kind don't get convicted that often. The guy would most likely be just fine.

In any case, he should use his judgement. If it's illegal, then he shouldn't have sex with her, even if she consents. If he isn't willing to take the risk, then he shouldn't take the risk. Don't see where the problem is.

[S-99]

Rapists of any kind don't get convicted that often. The guy would most likely be just fine.

In any case, he should use his judgement. If it's illegal, then he shouldn't have sex with her, even if she consents. If he isn't willing to take the risk, then he shouldn't take the risk. Don't see where the problem is.

The guy might end up being just fine, but that's not a risk worth taking at all, and quite frankly a risk that nobody should take. My judgement said that the whole situation wasn't right and that i wasn't going to be around for any risk taking. My problem was the situation she was trying to get me into that would be nothing but problems for me.

Yes a lot of teenagers do have crushes on older folks. She on the same hand has a lot of self esteem and courage to actually persue older people. Which in the same case that i hope she eventually turns down her friskiness a level or two, or she could get herself and older parties into trouble very easily because she's not thinking of the consequences of her actions (a thing young people do more often than not).

EDIT: In bringing up the whole story i wasn't really trying to explain a problem, but rather what the opposite is for girls of young age who have developed early who are embarrassed of their features. In this case, it was more a heavier weighted opposite situation i used for contrast.

[Mongoose]

Not necessarily. Plenty of teenagers have crushes on older folks. Most of them just don't have enough self-esteem or courage to try at getting what they want.

If by "self-esteem" or "courage" you mean "rampant stupidity" and "blatant irrationality," then I'm in full agreement.

[General Battuta]

Also I just went back and read, and I still don't get it. Is wanting sex at 14 what's so self-destructive? Or... does that only pertain to girls? Sounds like slut-shaming to me.

No, wanting sex at 14 with someone who's 24 would be the self-destructive aspect of it.  Things can only end badly, for both parties.

There's nothing wrong with wanting it. Acting on it might be a legal problem.

[Mongoose]

That's kind of what I was leading to, though.  I'm not denying that pretty much everyone has dreams about some unattainable older hottie or other at that age, but to treat it as enough of a legitimate prospect that you go and drag someone ten years older than you off into the woods?  That's what I'd consider whuh-oh territory.

[NGTM-1R]

No, wanting sex at 14 with someone who's 24 would be the self-destructive aspect of it.  Things can only end badly, for both parties.

Then you get into an "what age difference is okay" argument and since it's ultimately all arbitrary, you can no more justify that then you can that 24 wanting 34 is bad.

[BloodEagle]

Rapists of any kind don't get convicted that often. The guy would most likely be just fine.

 

You seem to be forgetting the social implications (see: "pedo-hate") of a statutory rape charge (regardless of whether or not it actually happened), whether successfully prosecuted or not.

--

No, wanting sex at 14 with someone who's 24 would be the self-destructive aspect of it.  Things can only end badly, for both parties.

Then you get into an "what age difference is okay" argument and since it's ultimately all arbitrary, you can no more justify that then you can that 24 wanting 34 is bad.

It's Age/2 + 7. 

--

Oh, if it hasn't been said yet (I'm too lazy to check), I'd like to welcome our friends from the Bureau. There's punch over there in the corner, feel free to help yourselves to it.

[Colonol Dekker]

God knows I fancied every older woman going when I was 14. And quite rightly I got nowhere with most of them.

[S-99]

Rapists of any kind don't get convicted that often. The guy would most likely be just fine.

Horrible advice. I mean really, why did you say this?

This advice implies: go forth perform statutory rape, because you probably wont get convicted, don't think anything of it, you'll be just fine.

Iamzack, please go forth and continue enabling and motivating rapists.

[Dilmah G]

Eh, can't put an age on love (or casual sex). The problem gets as bad as you want to let it get.

[Colonol Dekker]

It's only a problem for those not getting any.            Of either.
 
 
Watch Roger Dodger for the closest insight into my romantic side I can think of.

[Dilmah G]

Exactly. Lack of sexual satisfaction, or satisfaction at all from the opposite sex drives people insane. Something we've known for a while. 

[Colonol Dekker]

It's a vicious cycle. No female contact makes you nuts which scares females off. . . . .
 
 
Small steps. Small steps guys. Patience and proficient confidence and stay [size=14]CALM[/size] around women. Unless you're in college/university in which case get invited to a party and get drunk with them. Be funny. But not insulting. And I mean Penny funny. Not Sheldon funny.

[iamzack]

I have a hard time believing it's rape *just* because the girl is 14. If she's not coerced, it's not rape. But the law says differently. Granted, it's hard to prove coercion, so maybe it's for the best.

And I did not advise "have sex with her anyway" I advised "he should use his best judgement." Most people I know do lots of illegal things. Drinking underage, smoking pot, etc.

[Rian]

The problem is that there’s a huge power differential when one member of a relationship is much older. While there may be individual exceptions, in the majority of cases it’s going to be hard for a teenager in a relationship with an adult to avoid being exploited. A relatively inexperienced teenager is going to have trouble recognizing warning signs, setting limits, expressing needs, etc., with the result that the older party may end up taking advantage of him/her even if the relationship starts with the best of intentions.

Power differentials are of course just as possible and potentially problematic in adult relationships, but there’s a point at which people are expected to be mature enough to take responsibility for any problems. Our culture generally sets that cutoff at eighteen, and though that’s somewhat arbitrary and doesn’t account for individual differences in maturity, it makes sense as a legal construction and affords some degree of protection to people whose brains are still developing and chemically predisposed to compromised judgment.

[NGTM-1R]

So basically, because it's possible to abuse the relationship, we should not have such relationships. This is A Bad Argument as it's possible to abuse any human relationship.

Our culture has also begun moving the age of consent backwards again and in many areas it's now 16 or 17, proving the fallacy of any age-based argument when dealing with individual development.

It's Age/2 + 7. 

Which is also arbitrary, and so no more arguable than any other method of measurement!

[General Battuta]

Any relationship can be abused, but when the probability and ease of abuse rise sharply, the advisability of the relationship drops sharply.

Use analogue measurements, not digital ones, please.

[karajorma]

Our culture has also begun moving the age of consent backwards again and in many areas it's now 16 or 17, proving the fallacy of any age-based argument when dealing with individual development.

But there in lies the problem. If you're not going to declare an arbitrary age limit how do you propose to limit things?

AFAIK pretty much every human culture in history has a coming of age for at least one of the sexes. A point at which a child is considered an adult and therefore capable of making their own choices. We do that for voting, drinking, smoking, gambling and a whole host of other choices. Yes, there are individuals who are ready before that age and others who still aren't after it. But I can't think of a workable alternative so if you can I'd love to hear it.

[NGTM-1R]

But I can't think of a workable alternative so if you can I'd love to hear it.

There isnt' one yet, admittedly, but it can't be long before our increasing ability to mechanize things gives us an option for some kind of empirical testing.