[StarLiner]

Humans = Humanity

Shivans, therefore, must = Shivanity

Shi-Vanity

What if the Shivans are all stuck ups and that's why they've been attacking us?

[yuezhi]

that's exactly it. our dull grey, potato-handling ships stain the good name of ShiVanity.

Spoiler:

what is that thing? Hideous, HIDEOUS!
*fires double Helios

[Qent]

They're probably exterminating us because of our language abuse.

[yuezhi]

but that was the vasudan's divine job.

vasudan is cool

[BritishShivans]

The reason why the Shivans are exterminating the GTVA is because Vasudan fanatics of the Cult of Headz blew up all the tea and crumpets, because the Shivans are actually British despite the fact they aren't human. 

The reason why they attacked in FS1 was because the Lucifer's crew was reading the Galactic Guide upside down, and misinterpreted the Terrans and Vasudans war as being a war on Earl Grey Tea.

See, if you managed to get rid of the Cult of Headz before they blew up all the tea and crumpets, the Shivans wouldn't be angry at us, and they would be sharing their wonderful culture with us. Thankfully, with ETAK, we should be able to tell them the next time they visit GTVA space that it was the Cult of Headz's  fault that all the tea and crumpets are gone.   

[Klaustrophobia]

go to bed.  all of you.

[BritishShivans]

how about no

the people must hear the truth, inane as it is

besides, as of this post, it's 2.44pm where I live

[Davros]

cant we offer them scones ?

[Colonol Dekker]

Vain Shivans are intriguing.

Crumpet eating Shivans are also good.


I approve of this.

[deathfun]

This raises a troubling question now...
How the devil do they eat?

[Colonol Dekker]

With their ShiVAN-Dibles.

[BritishShivans]

Or maybe they liquefy the crumpets and inject it into their bodies, along with the tea, via intravenous tubes. Or they actually do have mouths, but we have no way of telling unless we actually saw a Shivan eating or drinking. 

[NeonShivan]

Humans = Humanity

Shivans, therefore, must = Shivanity

Shi-Vanity

What if the Shivans are all stuck ups and that's why they've been attacking us?

Actually the Shivans are artificial. They were created by a prophet named Kulas.

[S-99]

Shivans get stoned and blow up stars to huff the solar gases.

[BritishShivans]

Combined with the consumption of crumpets and tea, the Shivans use mass solar-gas huffing as a attempt to explore the spiritual plane.

[LoneKnight]

Shivans get stoned and blow up stars to huff the solar gases.

Probably the closest to the truth I've heard.