"We thank god that our enemies are idiots."
- Mahmoud AhmadinejadCrizza continues to work diligently, spying on the alien threat.

Say hello to our new palace guard. Be nice to him, it’s his first day on the job.

…Oh, right, the military was going to turn against me, right? Here you go. High wages for soldiers, generals, KGB agents, banksters, miners, factory workers, and oil refinery workers. Everyone else gets minimum wage.

El Presidente gets richer and richer, while Starslayer struggles to make ends meet.




The freighter arrives, buys my stuff, then leaves. I can’t help but notice that there is a distinct lack of rebels on the island.


Protest! We got a protestor.
You do know what we do with protestors, do you?

Poor, poor opposition party. They wanted to play a game, a rigged game where I hold all the cards and the dice are loaded.


What rebel threat? There never was a rebel threat to begin with.

My new modern art exhibit is complete! I call it ‘El Cigarro Grande’, and I designed it myself.

No longer shall I be forced to travel to the States for health care. Instead I will ruin our amazing hospital with a terrible socialist health care system.

My prisons are full, and I need to round up more dissidents. I could just build another prison, but where’s the fun in that?



The wage increase seems to of quieted down my angry military.

WE HAS DA BOMB.

Now, we all know that there is only one person on the island qualified to use this thing. He will be paid top wages while his precious bodily fluids get sapped and inpurified by communist infiltration, communist indoctrination, communist subversion, and the international communist conspiracy.




…And, I think this is a good stopping point. The island’s political situation and food supplies are stable. I got loads and loads of cash, and haven’t even begun exploiting the island’s natural oil reserves to its fullest.
I could do anything I want at this point – make a golden statue of myself, construct the largest skyscraper hotel in the Caribbean, increase everyone’s wages to the maximum amount, all without fear of consequences. So I am going to stop here.

As for my enemies, I leave you with this:

