1) I noticed a couple of minor gramatical errors. For instance you repeatedly refer to someone fighting on a system rather than in one. Not a huge problem though since on average your English was a hell of a lot better than my Spanish

Willy: oh....they are fighting IN (inside) the system, not ON (like, above, or something)...
2) Don't add the hotkeys for each wing to the directives. It tends to clutter things up. You don't need the alt-J for warp out either since I think anyone playing this campaign should have been through the main one already

Willy: alright, ALT-J removed...but the wing hotkeys are still there, and they are even more...
3) While we're talking about directives you forgot to chain the Return to base event to the one above it. As a result you get the return to base directive as soon as you start

Willy: Fixed...
4) Give Aries and cancer wings a delay between waves. It doesn't look good for another wave to appear out of subspace immediately after the last one died every time.
Willy: problem still there..........fixing in progress...
5) Don't refer to GTI Acheron 1 by that name. Rename it to something suitable. Big Earls Bar and Grill or something suitable

Willy: Errr.......problem is still there. Fixing in progress...
6) Your AWOL message didn't work. The flaw is most likely your use of the is-goal-incomplete SEXP. This and the corresponding is-event-incomplete should not be used in debriefings as immediately upon the end of a mission FS2 reclassifies any event that didn't trigger as false. As such is-event-incomplete will never trigger in a debrief.
Willy: problem is still there...fixing in progress...
7) You might want to tune the salty language in the AWOL debrief down a little. Some of us are below 18 you know
Willy: lol...fixing NOT in progress... (Why? the AWOL message doesn't works anyway)
8) As a test I flew to about 12,000km out at the start and just let the mission run at high speed. To my surprise the GTVA won the first time cause the enemy just hung about ignoring the Acheron. Probably a glitch but if there is any reason why you think they might do that you may want to address it
Willy: I think i forgot to effectebly Beam-free-all the NTC Horizon. problem fixed.
Apart from that I pretty much enjoyed the mission
Wily: the mission is longer, and i tried to make more tight the campaign, so i added a connection with the Mission 3 of the Campaign 1...