[Rampage]

I got this from a friend of mine.  It's very convincing.

 

Read it below:
> * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Recall Notice * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
>  
> The Maker of all human beings is recalling all units manufactured,  
> regardless of make or year, due to the serious defect in the primary and  
> central component of the heart. This is due to a malfunction in the  
> original prototype units code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the  
> reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units. This defect has  
> been technically termed, Sub-sequential Internal Non-morality, or more  
> commonly known as SIN, as it is primarily expressed.  
>  
> Some other symptoms:  
>  
> [a] Loss of direction  
> Foul vocal emissions  
> [c] Amnesia of origin  
> [d] Lack of peace and joy  
> [e] Selfish, or violent behavior  
> [f] Depression or confusion in the mental component  
> [g] Fearfulness  
> [h] Idolatry  
> Rebellion  
>  
> The Manufacturer, Who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect, is  
> providing factory authorized repair and service free of charge to correct  
> this SIN defect. The Repair Technician, Jesus, has most  
> generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of
these  
> repairs.  
>  
> There is no additional fee required.  
>  
> The toll free number to call for repair in all areas is: P-R-A-Y-E-R.  
>  
> Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN through the
REPENTANCE  
> procedure. Next, download ATONEMENT from the Repair Technician,
Jesus, into  
> the heart component. No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, the
Jesus  
> will replace it with:  
>  
> [a] Love  
> Joy  
> [c] Peace  
> [d] Patience  
> [e] Kindness  
> [f] Goodness  
> [g] Faithfulness  
> [h] Gentleness  
> Self-control  
>  
> Please see the operating manual, HOLY BIBLE, for further details on the
use  
> of these fixes. As an added upgrade the manufacturer has made available
to  
> all repaired units a facility enabling direct monitoring and assistance from  
> a Resident Maintenance Technician, the Holy Spirit. Repaired units need
only  
> make Him welcome and He will take up permanent residence on the
premises!  
>  
> WARNING: Continuing to operate the human being unit without correction
voids  
> the Manufacturer's warranty, exposing the unit to dangers and problems
too  
> numerous to list and will result in the human unit being permanently  
> impounded.  
>  
> For free emergency service, call on JESUS.  
>  
> DANGER: The human being units not responding to this recall action will
have  
> to be scrapped in the furnace. The SIN defect will not be permitted to
enter  
> Heaven so as to prevent contamination of that facility.  
>  
> Thank you for your attention. Please assist where possible by notifying  
> others of this important recall notice.  
>  
>  
> God Bless You!
>  
> CH (LTC) Hardie M. Higgins
> 130th Engineer Brigade
> Brigade Chaplain
> 322-8181
>  
>  


>** --------- End Original Message ----------- **

------------------
Christ
Redeems
All
People

God is Life

[This message has been edited by Rampage (edited 09-22-2001).]

[Joey_21]

Amen, brotha.  

------------------
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[Martinus]

Novel approach but I never put much faith in the bible (no pun intended). A book that's over a millenia old has a great deal of irrelevant material, kinda like the camel and the eye of the needle story. Taken literally you'd have no problem with the fact that it's damn hard for a camel to fit through the eye of a needle but if you know that 'the eye of the needle' is actually a gateway to a city then the saying changes perspective pretty quickly.

The best and most straightforward lesson I've found is 'love one another as I have loved you'. If you treat people with the kind of respect you'd wish them to give you then everything turns out cool  

[Setekh]

Well, I can say with confidence that taken as a whole, nothing is irrelevant in the Bible. But I'm not going to start an argument about it...

That's a fairly clever email idea, though.  

[Sandwich]

Ok, I've avoided asking you this on the assumption that it was intended to be a joke of some sort, but now that you've posted this topic I would really like to know: What is this supposed to mean:

 

Originally posted by Rampage:
Christ
Redeems
All
People

C.R.A.P. ?!? Personally, I find it a bit irreverent... :-/



------------------
America, stand assured that Israel truly understands what you are going through.

"He who laughs last thinks slowest."
"Just becase you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you."
"To err is human; to really screw up you need a computer."
Creator of the Sandvich Bar, the CapShip Turret Upgrade, the Complete FS2 Ship List and the System Backgrounds List (all available from the site)

[Setekh]

I prefer this one: God's Riches At Christ's Expense. Booyah.  

[Anduril]

Yeah, I was trying to figure out the sig too...

Well, the bible has a lot of information, some of it may be irrelevant to some people, but if nothing else, it's history... which is ALWAYS relevant information.  

[Shrike]

Lucky for me I was made with the ATHEIST™ brand morality subroutines.

[Top Gun]

That's Funny

[Thorn]

Yeah... I'm with Shrike...
My theory on creation is quite simple.. Has nothing to do with a higher power...
At first there was nothing, which exploded.

------------------
Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard kids! Be evil!

[Sandwich]

 

Originally posted by Anduril:
Yeah, I was trying to figure out the sig too...

Well, the bible has a lot of information, some of it may be irrelevant to some people, but if nothing else, it's history... which is ALWAYS relevant information.  

I agree with you 100%, but there's one wee problem: I wrote irreverent, not irrelevant... There's a difference.



------------------
America, stand assured that Israel truly understands what you are going through.

"He who laughs last thinks slowest."
"Just becase you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you."
"To err is human; to really screw up you need a computer."
Creator of the Sandvich Bar, the CapShip Turret Upgrade, the Complete FS2 Ship List and the System Backgrounds List (all available from the site)

[Martinus]

 

Originally posted by sandwich:
I agree with you 100%, but there's one wee problem: I wrote irreverent, not irrelevant... There's a difference.

I think he was refering to my post where I pointed out that I thought a lot of the material in the bible is irrelevant in todays society, there are a lot of good points in it but a lot of them come in a downright strange context. (IMHO)

[Stryke 9]

Grrrrr...

WARNING FOR FUTURE REFERENCE: I FLAME ALL SUSPECTED EVANGELISTS

[Joey_21]

 

Originally posted by Stryke 9:
Grrrrr...

WARNING FOR FUTURE REFERENCE: I FLAME ALL SUSPECTED EVANGELISTS

Then bring it on. We'll just laugh at your persecution.

[Sandwich]

 

Originally posted by Maeglamor:
I think he was refering to my post where I pointed out that I thought a lot of the material in the bible is irrelevant in todays society, there are a lot of good points in it but a lot of them come in a downright strange context. (IMHO)

All I was referring to was Rampages' siggy... CRAP. It seemed a bit irreverent.

About the Bible being "out-dated", yes - many of the phrases of speech and parables have had their full meaning lost in the depths of time, but as a whole, I like it.  

Stryke: If you don't like calm discussions about religon, then don't come to the topic. But if I can take your post at face value, then I don't think you need to worry: nobody's going to try to evangelize anyone on a public forum. While I have nothing at all against evangelizing, public forums are most definetly not the place for it.  



------------------
America, stand assured that Israel truly understands what you are going through.

"He who laughs last thinks slowest."
"Just becase you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you."
"To err is human; to really screw up you need a computer."
Creator of the Sandvich Bar, the CapShip Turret Upgrade, the Complete FS2 Ship List and the System Backgrounds List (all available from the site)

[Nico]

or not even for discussing religion at all...

[Jabu]

I agree. They just attract flames like flames attract various flying insects.

Stryke, I know how you feel, but just leave it. You don't have to read this thread.

[Rampage]

 

Overall Performance

Your lack of faith disturbs me.

------------------
Christ
Redeems
All
People

God is Life

[CODEDOG ND]

Hehe I already had recall fixed a couple of years ago.

It doesn't really matter what religion you are the information about the Jewish, Romans, Persians, etc. Is very reliable and there has yet to be anything that has been proven wrong in there also.

[Stryke 9]

 

Originally posted by Jabu:
Stryke, I know how you feel, but just leave it. You don't have to read this thread.

I know, but it passes the time. And the religious chatrooms/forums ARE notoriously plagued by flooders (I know a few guys who see to that... idiots, but they must provide a third of the total posts on the entire internet). Still, NO PREACHING. Still serves even if you haven't started yet.