OK. So the "hang on install" thing isn't the problem. I haven't actually heard of that particular problem before, although its possible your "no Open AL" thing is the problem. Can you not install it, or is it simply that you haven't done it?
Regarding install sequence, install Base 3.2 first, then install the 3.3 update on top of that (which will actually modify the base VP file), then extract the 3.3a patch using WinRAR into the same directory that your game is installed to (typically C:\Program Files\The Babylon Project). The patch contains a VP file which, because of how its named, will be loaded before the core VP, allowing certain critical files to be loaded from there rather than from the Base VP. The Patch also contains several builds of Freespace Open, and a readme indicating their purpose and how to properly use them.
The error message regarding ships.tbl tells me one of 2 things:
1- you installed the 3.3 update properly, but not the patch (some who've had problems, did so because they simply dropped the Patch RAR file into the directory and thought that was enough).
2- you aren't using the proper build. Even the default tables in the 3.3a patch are best used with release 3.6.7 of the Freespace Open engine. Now, since 3.3 installs over the 3.2 install, it still uses by default the same FSO build that 3.2 had as default. Some of the features included with 3.3 require at least FSO 3.6.7, but most don't know that you need to change the build in the launcher. If that's the case, open the Launcher and select the "browse" button at the top right. Assuming you've installed 3.3a correctly, there should be builds in there, one of which has 367 in its name. The only newer build included that I suggest (that doesn't involve some more tinkering, which is covered in the readme) is the one labelled 2005-12-24, and based on your system specs, I'd advise one with the "P4" suffix. Also, except for very special circumstances, don't use the builds with "_d" at the end. These are debug builds that are not advised for average gaming. Anyway, just select your build and go from there. You may get some warning messages about unrecognized command line options, mainly because the SCP team has either changed the name of the command line option, or have removed them entirely, because of obsolescence.
Your command lines should look something like this:
-spec -glow -jpgtga -nomotiondebris -2d_poof -dualscanlines -targetinfo -orbradar -nobeampierce -ship_choice_3d -3dwarp -tbp -snd_preload -ambient_factor 65
Just play with the options until you get that configuration. There may be other options available both to improve lighting, or better handle some memory issues.
I hope this helps. If it doesn't,... well, then, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it (or we'll just blow it to pieces

)
Later!