Author Topic: Poor Setekh.....  (Read 50621 times)

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Offline Shrike

  • Postadmin
  • 211
    • http://www.3dap.com/hlp
Too bad Setekh isn't a Culture ship.  
WE ARE HARD LIGHT PRODUCTIONS. YOU WILL LOWER YOUR FIREWALLS AND SURRENDER YOUR KEYBOARDS. WE WILL ADD YOUR INTELLECTUAL AND VERNACULAR DISTINCTIVENESS TO OUR OWN. YOUR FORUMS WILL ADAPT TO SERVICE US. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE.

 

Offline Snipes

  • 29
    • http://freespace.volitionwatch.com/us
     
------------------
United Space
Newsie, Modder, Slave to Asta
------------------
"Snipes... Is The Dark Continent."

 

Offline Setekh

  • Jar of Clay
  • 215
    • Hard Light Productions
Aboard the GVA Setekh

Vasudan #3: We're in trouble, sir!
Setekh: Errr... errr... crystalline arrays at full power, send out a distress signal! Prepare to divert power to engines and withdraw!
Vasudan #4: One contact in range, sir. Borg Cube #3450998.
Setekh: Call her in! Get the engines up, get us out of here!

 

Run, RUN!
- Eddie Kent Woo, Setekh, Steak (of Steaks), AWACS. Seriously, just pick one.
HARD LIGHT PRODUCTIONS, now V3.0. Bringing Modders Together since January 2001.
THE HARD LIGHT ARRAY. Always makes you say wow.

 

Offline Styxx

  • 211
    • Hard Light Productions
Styxx: Hmm, what's that weird cube thing, lieutenant?

Random lieutenant #322: I don't know sir, but it's aiming at us...

Styxx: Well, frag it then.

* the cube is destroyed by a salvo from the Apocalypse *

Random lieutenant #322: We have two more cubes incoming sir!

Styxx: Hmmm, repeat the previous procedure...

Random lieutenant #322: Okay sir!

* The second cube is destroyed, but the third deflects the beams *

Random lieutenant #322: Sir, it's resisting our weapons...

Styxx: Fire again, lieutenant.

* The beams are once more deflected *

Styxx: Huh, lieutenant, engage subspace drive... And trace the coordinates of that little AWACS ship. We have some unfinished business...


[edit: I kan zpel, I sver!]

[This message has been edited by Styxx (edited 06-10-2001).]
Probably away. Contact through email.

 

Offline Snipes

  • 29
    • http://freespace.volitionwatch.com/us
hehe, I doubt even the borg can save you  
     
------------------
United Space
Newsie, Modder, Slave to Asta
------------------
"Snipes... Is The Dark Continent."

 

Offline Shrike

  • Postadmin
  • 211
    • http://www.3dap.com/hlp
*watches the Apocalypse vanish into subspace.*

Tesna, get a load of this.  Listen.

We are the Borg.  You will be assimilated.  Your technological and biological distintiveness will be added to ours.

*Tesna just rolls her eyes*

Ok, 'borg' what if I don't want to?

Resistance is futile.

Ah, give me a break.  *starts accelerating past the cube.  A tractor beam latches out.  The borg cube suddenly finds itself being dragged behind the GOU.*

Bugger off, prick.  *The cube is suddenly torn to shreds by the massive gravitic power of a Linegun.*

There, let's go find us some trouble.
WE ARE HARD LIGHT PRODUCTIONS. YOU WILL LOWER YOUR FIREWALLS AND SURRENDER YOUR KEYBOARDS. WE WILL ADD YOUR INTELLECTUAL AND VERNACULAR DISTINCTIVENESS TO OUR OWN. YOUR FORUMS WILL ADAPT TO SERVICE US. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE.

 

Offline heretic

  • 26
    • http://www.warpstorm.com
I'm sorry Thunder, but you challenged her.

 


your ship seems so.....small now.....  


[This message has been edited by heretic (edited 06-10-2001).]
VBB survivor: June 1999 until the end. Only banned 2 or 3 times (I think)

 

Offline Setekh

  • Jar of Clay
  • 215
    • Hard Light Productions
On board the GVA Setekh, in subspace

Vasudan #6: Sir, the Apocalypse has entered subspace behind us. Her Conversion Matrix is currently out of range, but once we exit subspace she'll catch up and take us down. Please advise!
Setekh: Errr... pull up the Arrays™ again. Any contacts in range?
Vasudan #7: None, sir.
Setekh: Bugger!
Vasudan #6: If I may suggest something, sir? We exit subspace, wait for the Apocalypse, and errr, wait and see what happens?
Setekh: That's a terrible plan! We'll probably be killed!
Vasudan #6: Have you a better plan?
Setekh: Errr, good point. Okay. Prepare for subspace exit.

[This message has been edited by Setekh (edited 06-10-2001).]
- Eddie Kent Woo, Setekh, Steak (of Steaks), AWACS. Seriously, just pick one.
HARD LIGHT PRODUCTIONS, now V3.0. Bringing Modders Together since January 2001.
THE HARD LIGHT ARRAY. Always makes you say wow.

 

Offline Snipes

  • 29
    • http://freespace.volitionwatch.com/us
lmao

Good work  
     
------------------
United Space
Newsie, Modder, Slave to Asta
------------------
"Snipes... Is The Dark Continent."

 

Offline Styxx

  • 211
    • Hard Light Productions
Styxx: Lieutenant, what's our situation?

* no one replies *

Styxx: Lieutenant?

Random ensign #1272: Huh, sir, we ran out of lieutenants...

Styxx: Damn. Well, ensign, what's our situation?

Random ensign #1272: We're nearing the exit point. Our sensors indicate that the AWACS vessel we're pursuing is just sitting there on the other side...

Styxx: Damn, they're probably using the I ran out of ideas tactics. We gotta devise a countermeasure...

Random ensign #1272: Hmm, we could retaliate using the same tactics, sir...

Styxx: No, no. It's too... unimaginative.

Random ensign #1272: Well, sir, what will we do then?

Styxx: Target that ship and open fire with all weapons upon our arrival!

Random ensign #1272: Okay sir - if you say so...

Styxx: And find me some lieutenants, dammit! I can't command something without a few good lieutenants!
Probably away. Contact through email.

 

Offline Shrike

  • Postadmin
  • 211
    • http://www.3dap.com/hlp
This should be good.

What's that?

Maximum stealth right between the two ships.  They'll open fire and wonder what the ****  is happening to their shots.

You really are evil you know?
WE ARE HARD LIGHT PRODUCTIONS. YOU WILL LOWER YOUR FIREWALLS AND SURRENDER YOUR KEYBOARDS. WE WILL ADD YOUR INTELLECTUAL AND VERNACULAR DISTINCTIVENESS TO OUR OWN. YOUR FORUMS WILL ADAPT TO SERVICE US. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE.

 

Offline Setekh

  • Jar of Clay
  • 215
    • Hard Light Productions
Aboard the GVA Setekh

Vasudan #8: Sir, we have arrived in a stationary position roughly in front of the node. Your command?
Setekh: Ready the Terran Turret#Weaks!!!
Vasudan #9-12: *Gasp!*
Setekh: That's right, all three of them... the Apocalypse won't know what hit her!

 
- Eddie Kent Woo, Setekh, Steak (of Steaks), AWACS. Seriously, just pick one.
HARD LIGHT PRODUCTIONS, now V3.0. Bringing Modders Together since January 2001.
THE HARD LIGHT ARRAY. Always makes you say wow.

 

Offline Snipes

  • 29
    • http://freespace.volitionwatch.com/us
Enough! Enough... my sides hurt too much... please  
     
------------------
United Space
Newsie, Modder, Slave to Asta
------------------
"Snipes... Is The Dark Continent."

 

Offline Styxx

  • 211
    • Hard Light Productions
Random lieutenant #401: Sir, we have incoming fire!

Styxx: Hmm, what? What's firing on us?

Random lieutenant #401: The AWACS, sir.

Styxx: Let it fire, I wanted a custom paint job on this ship anyway... I just needed an excuse...

Random lieutenant #401: Hmm, okay sir... but there's a problem...

Styxx: Huh, what?

Random lieutenant #401: Their shots are not reaching our hull...

Styxx: How so?

Random lieutenant #401: I don't know sir. They just... vanish.

Styxx: Damn. Ah, well. Just fry that little bastard...

Random lieutenant #401: Okay sir...

Random lieutenant #715: Sir, we're firing all electrobeams batteries, but nothing's emerging from the turrets!

Styxx: Damn, damn, damn. Please open a comm channel, set to full broadcast...

Random lieutenant #715: Yes sir, channel open.

Styxx: To the General Offensive Unite Loose Cannon... Let me frag that thing, dammit!

[I will get this right, sometime...]

[This message has been edited by Styxx (edited 06-10-2001).]
Probably away. Contact through email.

 

Offline Snipes

  • 29
    • http://freespace.volitionwatch.com/us
This just keeps getting better and better  
     
------------------
United Space
Newsie, Modder, Slave to Asta
------------------
"Snipes... Is The Dark Continent."

 

Offline Shrike

  • Postadmin
  • 211
    • http://www.3dap.com/hlp
*suddenly, dozens of warships appear in between the battling war(I use the term loosely)ships.*

Now let's play inverse russian roulette.  One of the holograms is not covered by the shields.  Which one is it?
WE ARE HARD LIGHT PRODUCTIONS. YOU WILL LOWER YOUR FIREWALLS AND SURRENDER YOUR KEYBOARDS. WE WILL ADD YOUR INTELLECTUAL AND VERNACULAR DISTINCTIVENESS TO OUR OWN. YOUR FORUMS WILL ADAPT TO SERVICE US. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE.

 

Offline Setekh

  • Jar of Clay
  • 215
    • Hard Light Productions
On board the GVA Setekh

Vasudan #13: Sir, there are dozens of warshpis in between us and the Apocalypse! They are identifying themselves as The Culture. One has been recognised as the ship we logged into to use its effector.
Setekh: Right. And what are they saying? Something about shields?
Vasudan #14: Uhhh... yeh.
Setekh: You don't sound very Vasudan, Vasudan.
Vasudan #14: I mean - correction, your the answer to your previous query was affirmative.
Setekh: That's better. Now, what are they saying?
Vasudan #13: One of the ships isn't covered by shields... sir.
Setekh: What? Power to Arrays™, confirm this.
Vasudan #15: Sir, none of the ships are shielded. They're bluffing!
Setekh: Understood. Open a channel to the Apocalypse...
Vasudan #16: Channel opened!
Setekh: This is the GVA Setekh. Barni, I have something you might want to know...
- Eddie Kent Woo, Setekh, Steak (of Steaks), AWACS. Seriously, just pick one.
HARD LIGHT PRODUCTIONS, now V3.0. Bringing Modders Together since January 2001.
THE HARD LIGHT ARRAY. Always makes you say wow.

 

Offline heretic

  • 26
    • http://www.warpstorm.com
Sir! they're all over the place!

what?

the ships! they're firing at everything!

eh.....shoot.....er....that one!

which one?

hell, I don't know..... pick one out.


what about this one?

that's us, ensign...I wouldn't suggest it.

ok sir.

just.....fire out *waves* there....somewhere...doesn't matter, we're bigger...
VBB survivor: June 1999 until the end. Only banned 2 or 3 times (I think)

 

Offline Styxx

  • 211
    • Hard Light Productions
Random lieutenant #1034: Sir, we're receiving a transmission from the AWACS...

Styxx: Put it on screen...

* a large screen appears from nowhere, displaying an image of Setekh and a few 'zods on the background *

Setekh: I propose a truce. That GOU is kinda... hmm... buggin me. If you agree to the truce, I can provide you with accurate information about it.

* Meanwhile, on Styxx's head *

Neuron cluster #142: Okay people, we'll agree or what?

Neuron cluster #20988: I say yes, we have nothing to lose...

Neuron cluster #3445: Yeah, we can always fry that puny AWACS later...

Whole brain: Yes!!

* Back to reality *

Styxx: Hmm... okay.

Setekh: None of the representations of the GOU Loose Cannon are actually shielded...

Styxx: Awright! Thanks, pal... Lieutenant, ready all electrobeam - wait. That was lacking something... Ah, I know. Lieutenant, ready all the Electrobeam™ batteries! (ah, much better now)...

Random lieutenant #1034: All batteries ready, sir!

Styxx: Fire at the ship on the coordinates provided by the AWACS!

* The Electrobeam™ batteries on the Apocalypse power up, and... *
Probably away. Contact through email.

 

Offline Ace

  • Truth of Babel
  • 212
    • http://www.lordofrigel.com
You're not worthy to face the GVJ Semnai, so here comes:

 

CALLING. IN. THE. FLEET.!!!!

------------------
Ace
Staff member FreeSpace Watch
 http://freespace.volitionwatch.com/
Ace
Self-plagiarism is style.
-Alfred Hitchcock