I have dreams too.This will be long, so don't you dare go "hurpdurp TLDR!" at me. Here's one, copypasta'd from my tumblr:
okay what the **** just happened
Before waking up a couple minutes ago, I had this ****ing bizarre dream.
There was this mildly obese dude in a crowd of people, in what was apparently supposed to be 1778 England. But for whatever reason, he suddenly marches up to this platform, and starts screaming, “I am Plutarches! I AM PLUTARCHES!” Then for whatever reason, he gets dumped down a bottomless pit by some person at a platform with all these buttons and levers and ****. I don’t ****ing even…
Then suddenly, on what was supposed to be the next day or something, the SAME ****ing mildly obese guy is right there! Holy ****! I thought you died or- wait what, why are there ****ING 17 of you! What the hell is going on?! are they- No, they’re doing the same ****ing thing as yesterday. They’re in the same crowd, marching up the duplicates of the same platform, and yup, they all scream “I AM PLUTARCHES!” and all get dumped into the same ****ing bottomless pit. Except this time, the crowd is ****ing cheering for some reason, and, if I my suspicions are correct, the goddamn Queen or something is there with some other dudes. Oh, and the obese dudes started fighting each other after they fell.
Holy ****, you people are horrible. But then, the same ****ing dude in that goddamn box drops the ENTIRE crowd, except for the Queen and those dudes, into that bottomless pit. Except they fall unto this platform instead. And as it turns out, it’s a apparently a fight arena or something. Then the crowd asks “Why did you do this to us, and suddenly, the Queen, who has been silent (asides from laughing, and being a capricious mother****er) goes and says “I wanted to win!”
WHAT THE **** WOMAN
YOU WEREN’T FIGHTING
YOU WERE WATCHING SOME BIZARRE REENACTMENT OF A FAT DUDE GOING BAT**** AND BEING DUMPED INTO A ****ING BOTTOMLESS PIT
EXCEPT THIS TIME THERE WAS A ****LOAD OF THEM
AND THEY WERE FIGHTING FOR SOME REASON
HOLY **** YOU’RE A ****ING ASSHOLE
GO SHOVE YOUR ROYAL SCEPTER UP YOUR ASS, YOU PRICK
Oh, and then the Queen pulls out this remote, and presses the butan on it. Yup. You guessed it. The second floor has a ****ing bottomless pit under it, too. The crowd all falls and promptly dies or something. Then the Queen and those dudes from before go into this box, which was supposed to be elevator. Apparently, despite the fact that it’s obviously to ****ing small to fit all of them in it, they somehow get into it anyway, so according to the part of my brain responsible for this ****, it’s supposed to be like the TARDIS or something.
Or more likely, given her previous behavior, the Queen went and pushed those dudes into the bottomless pit. *****.
And then suddenly, we’re at this ****ing canal with a tunnel behind it, and what looks like a sewer, and suddenly mildly obese guy is STILL ****ing alive! He falls, unceremoniously, out of a sewer pipe and into the canal. Apparently, the “canal” is only about thrice as deep as the average kiddy pool. No, I still think I would of preferred it that fat dude guy promptly drowned instead. Oh, and he’s naked all of sudden. Wonderful. Thankfully, the disgusting details are obscured. Thank the Four gods of Chaos.
So fat dude is swimming along the canal, we cut through some weird crap that sure as hell isn’t 1778 England, and now we’re at….
A ****ing beach. Except everything is flooded, except for this tiny stretch of beach. Apparently not too flooded, because fat dude isn’t have much trouble not drowning. Did I also mention that there’s three highrises, who are all black, scorched, and wrecked. Then this sad music plays, and suddenly, something, says something along the lines of “lol there was a nuclear war and that ****ing weird thing over there on that strip of beach was his mansion lol!” Or rather it didn’t, and that the dream somehow told me this without saying anything.
WHAT THE ****. FAT DUDE CAN’T POSSIBLY BE THIS RICH ALL OF A SUDDEN.
WHAT THE **** HAPPENED THE ENGLAND?! AND WHY IS THERE A SHARK (WHICH IS OBVIOUSLY HACKING) GLIDING ALONG THE WATER AND CHASING A ****ING BEACH BALL!
whatisthisidon’teven
So fat dude swims over to that strip of beach. He’s wearing pants too, now. Thank Khorne. And there’s this weird ****ing UFO-looking thing, that looks more like a giant kiddy pool than anything else. Oh, and it has gatling guns for some reason. And there’s a lot of stuff strewn along near it. Some guns. A table. Some chairs. A cooler. Some dildo-looking thing. And a sun lounge.
Okay, fine. I don’t even ****ing understand half of what’s going on, anyway.
So fat dude hops into the UFO-looking thing, and that pisses off the shark (or something like that) because it starts chasing him. So fat dude turns around and shoots at the shark with the WEPON(s) on his UFO-thing. Shark and fat dude fight eachother for a bit.
Of course though, the dream ended about there. Needless to say, I was quite happy. Kind of. I’m more ****ing confused than anything else.
Oh! And you wanna know something else about the Queen? She looked EXACTLY like that “Ice Queen” woman from the Zelda CDI who does that thing with a wand and talks about curses or something like that.
