1. GTB Medusa vs. Medusa
Medusa looks at Pilot in Medusa Cockpit. Pilot
explodes. Medusa rams Medusa. A draw.
2. GVD Psamtik vs. Psamtik (Egyptian queen, read it in FS Wiki)
Queen Psamtik orders a bath prepared. Psamtik crew begins Plasma core insertion. Psamtik crew opens fire. Queen Psamtik's bath now has the appropriate temperature. No winner, but weird mental images.
3. NTF Iceni vs. Iceni
Iceni are transported to the NTF Iceni. Soon afterwards, all NTF officers and crew are dead. Unfortunately, being the 1st century BC folk that they are, the words "Safety interlock" or "Keep one door of Airlock closed at all times" mean nothing to them. Thus, the Iceni starts a new career as a ghost ship, culminating in a sweet gig as the prime attraction in a Human-superstition-themed theme park in orbit around Vasuda Prime.
4. NTF Boadicea vs. Boadicea
Being the Queen of the Iceni, Boadicea has the good sense of not joining her tribe on the big NTF Iceni exploration expedition. Instead, she takes over a little rock in a nice, quiet corner of the universe, and opens up a Hard Rock Cafe.
5. SD Demon vs. any Demon
Demons arrive near the Demon. They take a good look at the Demon, conclude that it is sadly lacking in souls, and leave disappointed.
6. GTF Ulysses vs. Ulysses.
Odysseus builds a giant wooden version of himself. GTF Ulysses attacks the wooden structure, but is destroyed by shrapnel. Odysseus wins.
7. GTF Myrmidon vs. an army of Myrmidons
Following the orders of their leaders, the Myrmidons start a charge on the GTF Myrmidon's position. The Myrmidon Pilot launches two Tempests. No more charging Myrmidons.
8. Cyclops torpedo vs. Cyclops (one-eyed giant)
Cyclops is fired at the giant. Giant throws rock at Torpedo. Torpedo explodes. Giant is killed by shockwave. Torpedo wins.
9. GTM Helios vs. Helios
Helios is fired at the sun. Disintegrates due to massive overheating somewhere in the Sun's Corona. Sun does not take notice.
10. GTF Athena
Wins.
11. GTFr Chronos vs. Kronos
Chronos starts an attack run. Kronos whips out a knife and fork, and starts nomming.
12. GTB Athena vs. Athena
Athena transforms the Athena into a nice little medal, to commemorate the audacity of the Bomber's pilot.
13. SH Gargant vs. Galactus (lol)
Galactus is hungry. Sees Gargant. Starts nomming. Gargant explodinates with sufficient force to destroy the hand-drawn comic book this is happening in.
14. GTF Ares vs. Ares
Ares Pilot sees energy signature. Waits for Trebuchets to lock on, and opens fire. Energy signature disappears.
15. GTC Fenris vs. Fenrir
Fenrir enters Fenris' bridge. Is adopted by crew as mascot. Both win.