[Vortex]

94. Your flying escort to a destroyer, and suddenly you hear all these childish shouts over the intercom, one of which is "What does this button do?..."

95. Your wingmates are blind... deaf... and mute....

[TheVirtu]

96. Your vasudan wingmate thinks you look cute.
97. You served aboard the Stallingrad and became high on a mission (Dante's Ascension: The darkness, I loved that mission)
98. You can hear command betting who dies first on the Comm as you leave the hangar.
99. Command wants you to go in the docking bay...of the SD Lucifer.
100. You find out that Vasudans dont eat what you do, then you find out you have to eat it.

[beatspete]

101.  Your squad number is 666, 69, or 101.

102.  The vasudans forgot you can't breath Carbon monoxide when they refitted your fighter for you.

103.  Hey alpha, go and see where that new jump node leads...

104.  "Ok alpha, the collosus is arriving to reinforce your position now..." says command.  "Uh, command, all i see is a ulysese, and its just going in a straight line" says alpha 2.  Command replies "Oh yeah, FRED problem, you'll just have to make do.  This conversation is on the clipboard so you can paste it somewhere else.  Good luck alpha".

I love this topic.

[Stryke 9]

105: Instead of operatic theme music, the "Jaws" tune begins filtering mysteriously through the emptiness of space.

106: Your wingman begins responding to orders from Command that nobody else can hear.

[Mr. Vega]

107: Your Captain begins to talk like William Shatner

[WMCoolmon]

107) Due to catastrophic damage and atmosphere loss on board your carrier (which will be magically repaired the next time the ship enters a mission), several pilots are forced to bunk together. You are assigned to share a room with a Vasudan...know for his taste for heads

[the slammer]

107.5) You're assigned to a massive destroyer that has more fighters attached to it than you have brain cells, and yet whenever there's a last-ditch defense of the destroyer you're the only wing in the area.  In fact, the more you think about it, the more this entire campaign seems to be a conspiracy to get you killed

Edit: forgot number

[Ace]

108) When the TSM series is used as a substitute for actual field training.

109) "The line of defense has been reprioritized for elsewhere in this system."

[Stunaep]

Originally posted by Mr. Vega
107: Your Captain begins to talk like William Shatner

not a problem, unless you wear a red shirt.

[beatspete]

Originally posted by Stunaep


not a problem, unless you wear a red shirt.

110.  Your new captain wants your uniforms changed to a red shirt.

[Redfang]

Originally posted by beatspete
104.  "Ok alpha, the collosus is arriving to reinforce your position now..." says command.  "Uh, command, all i see is a ulysese, and its just going in a straight line" says alpha 2.  Command replies "Oh yeah, FRED problem, you'll just have to make do.  This conversation is on the clipboard so you can paste it somewhere else.  Good luck alpha".

 

 
I like this thread, too.

[LtNarol]

111. Your wing is forced to fly Lokis...escorting some drone of a freighter...then you notice you're not flying Lokis, but instead slow red things with the words "SHOOT ME" painted on the bottom of you hull...then Alpha 1 arrives.

[Corsair]

112. You're told you're in a TSM, but then you notice that you're damaged and that the space outside your fighter is very cold.

[Nuclear1]

113) "Where's the Carthage? We need reinforcements ASAP, Command!"
        Command (waking up): Hmmm.... huh, what? The Carthage?
        You: There's too many of them! Send in the Carthage or get us out of here?
        Command: You want the Carthage?
        You: Send it in!
        Command: You really want the Carthage?
        You (explosions in background): We can't hold them off!
        Command: You really really really want the Carthage?


114) Instead of directives, you see little directions to "a hidden treasure".......

[an0n]

115: You're posted to a squad with the words Suicide, Fodder or Remedial somewhere in the name.

116: You're sent on a mission to root out some Shivan fighters armed only with a bank of Cyclops and faulty IFF sensors.

117: Every ship in your squad is powered by a Meson reactor.

[StratComm]

118:  Command orders your destroyer to prevent a Sathanas from leaving the system.

[Kitsune]

119)  Command tells you to park your Destroyer in FRONT of the Sathanas to stop it.

120)  The engineers and repair teams at the local Ganymede can repair a Destroyer back to 100% a week after it's towed in as scrap.    But they can't get it to gether to repair 20% of the most important ship in (GTVA) history within 3 months.

[beatspete]

121. "Uh, command, what do you mean 'draw their fire'?".

122.  You go into the fighterbay and find your ship is resting on a few bricks stacked together.

123.  Command is trying a new, 'non-violent' approach.  Instead of getting maxims and tempests to kill the enemy, you get Aketon SDG's and Stilleto missiles to 'render them harmless' without hurting anyone.

124.  The 'all friendly fighters defend me' button, is located uncomfortably close to the 'all friendly fighters depart' on your controls.

[Stryke 9]

122. Instead of Kayser-loaded Hercs, your wing is given spacesuits and baseball bats for a sortie.

123. There's a little message at the bottom of your control panel reading "Made in Taiwan"

124. Your wingmen speak with a foreign accent, and the labels on the controls appear to be in Russian

125. Your fighter was formerly used to store chickens for fleet.

[Kabal]

126. Your wingmen start talking like Ozzy Osbourne and yell "Sharon?".

127. Command changes you inflight music to something by Kathy Lee Gifford.

128. Command tells you to take off your clothes and press yourself up to the window of your fighter to distract the enemy juggernaut.