Author Topic: Nintendo Needs More Sexy Badasses  (Read 4088 times)

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Offline IronBeer

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  • (Witty catchphrase)
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Re: Nintendo Needs More Sexy Badasses
On a related note, none of you can deny the fact that Nintendo needs a new series/franchise of SOME SORT.

I've got an idea. It's set in a country where the absolute monarchy was recently overthrown by a popular revolution. Everybody (with few enough exceptions to count on your hands) seems to whole-heartedly embrace the new government. The player character is the old regime's former chief of secret police, complete with a stalinesque mustache. You're one of very few people still loyal to the exiled crown princess, last of her line. Together with your brother, you reinstate the monarchy by repeatedly stomping on people's faces with iron-shod jackboots.
....wait a minute.  :lol:
"I have approximate knowledge of many things."

Ridiculous, the Director's Cut

Starlancer Head Animations - Converted

 

Offline TwentyPercentCooler

  • Operates at 375 kelvin
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Re: Nintendo Needs More Sexy Badasses
On a related note, none of you can deny the fact that Nintendo needs a new series/franchise of SOME SORT.

I've got an idea. It's set in a country where the absolute monarchy was recently overthrown by a popular revolution. Everybody (with few enough exceptions to count on your hands) seems to whole-heartedly embrace the new government. The player character is the old regime's former chief of secret police, complete with a stalinesque mustache. You're one of very few people still loyal to the exiled crown princess, last of her line. Together with your brother, you reinstate the monarchy by repeatedly stomping on people's faces with iron-shod jackboots.

Will it be a third-person action game illogically littered with chest-high walls? Will it have a scrappy vehicle section? Will your health regenerate while behind aforementioned chest-high walls? Will you hire pop culture heroes for voice acting to disguise the pulpy and insubstantially written dialogue? Will all the bosses be fought using quicktime events?

If so, this could totally be the next AAA breakout hit.

 
Re: Nintendo Needs More Sexy Badasses
On a related note, none of you can deny the fact that Nintendo needs a new series/franchise of SOME SORT.

I've got an idea. It's set in a country where the absolute monarchy was recently overthrown by a popular revolution. Everybody (with few enough exceptions to count on your hands) seems to whole-heartedly embrace the new government. The player character is the old regime's former chief of secret police, complete with a stalinesque mustache. You're one of very few people still loyal to the exiled crown princess, last of her line. Together with your brother, you reinstate the monarchy by repeatedly stomping on people's faces with iron-shod jackboots.

Will it be a third-person action game illogically littered with chest-high walls? Will it have a scrappy vehicle section? Will your health regenerate while behind aforementioned chest-high walls? Will you hire pop culture heroes for voice acting to disguise the pulpy and insubstantially written dialogue? Will all the bosses be fought using quicktime events?

If so, this could totally be the next AAA breakout hit.

I'll consider it, but I was planning on a system where there are about 4 different maps recycled endlessly, with some doors sealed off and you entering from a different direction each time so that it at least takes you a few seconds to realize you've already been here. Plus a morally grey conflict between two sides who both more or less continuously channel Hitler. And no ending.

 

Offline deathfun

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Re: Nintendo Needs More Sexy Badasses
I like where all this is heading
"No"

 

Offline MarkN

  • 26
Re: Nintendo Needs More Sexy Badasses
You will also need quick-time events to make it popular:
In one cut-scene you are getting out of a car at your base, and to successfully open the door you have to swing the wiimote at just the right angle, otherwise your character ends up putting hit head through the window and dying from the lacerations (except in the German release, where there will be no blood, and so the character will die for no apparent reason).

Also picking up ammuntition will require pointing at the correct pixel on an enemies dropped weapon and playing the ammo strip minigame which lasts around an hour for the higher-level weapon (but to be really successful it will be possible to complete the game using nothing other than your starting weapon, for which you can get ammunition by talking to any friendly or neutral character)

Finally, any action you take against the new order will result in the new secret police looking for you, but if you hide out they will forget about you in one minute

 

Offline Cobra

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Re: Nintendo Needs More Sexy Badasses
Starting to wonder if his handle should be taken as a verb instead of a noun.... as in, log onto HLP and start Flaming Cobra.

Hey, hey, HEY!

* Cobra points at his name

Watch where you're aiming, k?

Also this thread makes me lul. But I have a question. Hypothetically, say I killed FlamingCobra... would that count as a form of suicide?

EDIT:
Finally, any action you take against the new order will result in the new secret police looking for you, but if you hide out they will forget about you in one minute

*****, **** that. I'll go all Jedi up on their bums and Jedi Mind Trick 'em. "This ain't the convict you're looking for."
To consider the Earth as the only populated world in infinite space is as absurd as to assert that in an entire field of millet, only one grain will grow. - Metrodorus of Chios
I wept. Mysterious forces beyond my ken had reached into my beautiful mission and energized its pilots with inhuman bomb-firing abilities. I could only imagine the GTVA warriors giving a mighty KIAAIIIIIII shout as they worked their triggers, their biceps bulging with sinew after years of Ivan Drago-esque steroid therapy and weight training. - General Battuta

 

Offline The E

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Re: Nintendo Needs More Sexy Badasses
Starting to wonder if his handle should be taken as a verb instead of a noun.... as in, log onto HLP and start Flaming Cobra.

Hey, hey, HEY!

* Cobra points at his name

Watch where you're aiming, k?

Also this thread makes me lul. But I have a question. Hypothetically, say I killed FlamingCobra... would that count as a form of suicide?

No. As it would only kill the flames, it's more like self-protection, really.
If I'm just aching this can't go on
I came from chasing dreams to feel alone
There must be changes, miss to feel strong
I really need lifе to touch me
--Evergrey, Where August Mourns

 

Offline redsniper

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  • Aim for the Top!
Re: Nintendo Needs More Sexy Badasses
So many people... didn't get the joke...
"Think about nice things not unhappy things.
The future makes happy, if you make it yourself.
No war; think about happy things."   -WouterSmitssm

Hard Light Productions:
"...this conversation is pointlessly confrontational."

 

Offline Sushi

  • Art Critic
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Re: Nintendo Needs More Sexy Badasses
I am now thoroughly confused.

 

Offline General Battuta

  • Poe's Law In Action
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Re: Nintendo Needs More Sexy Badasses
MARIO IS THE JOKE

 

Offline Sushi

  • Art Critic
  • 211
Re: Nintendo Needs More Sexy Badasses
MARIO IS THE JOKE

That's what I thought based on LordPomposity's first post (which was awesome), but the "additions" afterward threw me for a loop.

 

Offline deathfun

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Re: Nintendo Needs More Sexy Badasses
I understood the joke, but I liked where it was headed after the fact
"No"

 

Offline mxlm

  • 29
Re: Nintendo Needs More Sexy Badasses
I'm not a furfag.



That more your speed?
I will ask that you explain yourself. Please do so with the clear understanding that I may decide I am angry enough to destroy all of you and raze this sickening mausoleum of fraud down to the naked rock it stands on.

 

Offline TrashMan

  • T-tower Avenger. srsly.
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Re: Nintendo Needs More Sexy Badasses
Nobody dies as a virgin - the life ****s us all!

You're a wrongularity from which no right can escape!

 

Offline Pred the Penguin

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  • muahahaha...
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Re: Nintendo Needs More Sexy Badasses
This thread should be killed with fire.

 

Offline TwentyPercentCooler

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Re: Nintendo Needs More Sexy Badasses
I was thinking more along the lines of Exterminatus.

 

Offline BritishShivans

  • Jolly good supernova
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Re: Nintendo Needs More Sexy Badasses
No, destroy the galaxy it is in. As in blow it up.  :D

 

Offline deathfun

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  • Hey man. Peace. *Car hits them* Frakking hippies
    • Minecraft
Re: Nintendo Needs More Sexy Badasses
I just killed the Omega Pirate
Yaaayyy....
"No"

 

Offline FlamingCobra

  • An Experiment In Weaponised Annoyance
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Re: Nintendo Needs More Sexy Badasses
<insert kill it with fire here>

I wanted to post that but I figured I'd end up getting more criticism. So I used my better judgement and did not.

 

Offline sigtau

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Re: Nintendo Needs More Sexy Badasses
lol gendisc
Who uses forum signatures anymore?