[IronBeer]

Figlio di una cagna.
That's the second time I've been a zombie now.

EXCERPT FROM IRONBEER'S WILL:

"(Page 1) I, IronBeer, being of sound mind and under no duress, on this Fourteenth Day of September in the year Two Thousand and Fifteen, issue the following statements regarding the conditional handling of my mortal remains following fatal injuries.....

(Page 132) ...in the event of psycho-physiological domination through chemical means (commonly known as 'zombification') my brain, if structurally intact, is to be surgically excised from my remains and interred in a hermetic organ-preservation vessel.
The fluid circulation system of this vessel is to be 'charged' with the full quantity (approximately 1000 mL) of the liquid contained in a glass bottle matching the following description:
*At present stowed with my personal effects near Bunk 57B
*Opaque black glass construction
*Cork stopper
*'Samedi Smiles' in backwards Haitian, etched into the bottle's surface
*A small piece of white paper will be secured to the bottle with metal wire- executors are required to comply with the additional instructions on this paper

(Page 697) ...in the event of spinal severance incurred while performing a 'suplex' fighting maneuver on a shark wearing a bolo tie fashion accessory, the following items are to be gathered....."

OOC: If possible, please put me in the line to become a MEC. Drunken Robocop-2-style killbot rampages sound fun, right? Of course they do.

[TrashMan]

Hm...jr2 officially surpassed me in number of kills.
Well, it was too good to last.

Frankly I'm amazed I'm alive. I never survive in LP's.
And here I am with only 4 HP and somehow still alive.

[deathfun]

I don't know. I just don't know anything at this point. We deploy, we shoot up another horde of aliens who outgun us eight-to-one but wouldn't know squad tactics or strategy if it bit them in the mandibles, we win, we sometimes lose guys, we go out and do it again. What's the big picture here? Is it ever going to end?

Three missions to upload, but inbetween these I had researched something which brings us to the next level (finally, I find myself to be ready enough to take down the base)

OOC: If possible, please put me in the line to become a MEC. Drunken Robocop-2-style killbot rampages sound fun, right? Of course they do.

As it stands, the list follows as Rheyah, MP-Ryan, then you

Frankly I'm amazed I'm alive. I never survive in LP's.
And here I am with only 4 HP and somehow still alive.

Luck, mostly. That and my insistence to load you up with Carapace and Alloy armour each time you go out because your default HP is so low

Commander, there is an urgent request that you may attend to

Whatever, lets do it

"So these are new arc throwers? I wonder if they'll stand up to the test"
"I damn well hope they do"
"Heh, the day engineering makes a useful arc thrower will be the day"
"If they give us faulty equipment, I will rip off their head and shove my hand into their stomach and pull out their lunch JUST TO FEED IT TO THEM AGAIN"
"Jesus"





"Lots of cover, how quaint"
"Won't do you much good"
"Aren't you the medic? You're supposed to be, I don't know, supportive?"



"Two packs, one twelve, the other by the building"



"Two down"
"Move in closer"





"MEC integrity holding"



"How's it feel to be the bullet sponge?"
"I didn't feel a thing"


"Thin men!"
"They're spreading out!"


"Moving in to stun"


"Kickass"


"Dammit, no good"



"Did I get the faulty one again?"
"****, anyone got Mongoose?"
"I'll take the hit"



"Veers! You're out in the open!"





"When I get my hands on you, you'll regret ever putting on the suit you sunglass wearing little prick"


"MEC is taking a beating over here"



"Take that you lizard ****s"


"Firing"


"They're dwindling in numbers, keep up the pressure"
"I'll move around back"




"Taking some heavy fire here"





"All good to go now Veers"
"Thank you... you'll die last"



"You good Stewart?"
"Yeah, I'm good"




"I can't breathe... I CAN't BREATHE"


"Breaching"






"Try for the stun?"
"What do we have to lose"


"I'll be damned"
"Two stuns, no casualties? Great ****ing job"

[deathfun]

Commander to the research labs, commander to the research labs

If this isn't good news...

I am legitimately excited now. Engineering! Get me all that you can get me of these!

We can reasonably afford two

Good enough!

I AM BACK AND READY TO MURDER THE DAMNED PEOPLE WHO SHOT ME. WHO SHOT ME. I WILL MURDER THEM. I WILL DESTROY EVERYTHING THEY LOVE. I AM COMPLETELY SANE AND NOT ON A PERMANENT ROID RAGE. WHAT ARE YOU SAYING HUH? YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY? YOU THINK MY PURPLE MEC IS FUNNY? I WILL CUT YOU INTO OBLIVION

Commander, we've recently completed the task you want from us

What did we learn?

We can use this shard to make a skeleton key, probably to enter something the aliens would otherwise not want us to

Like a base?

Precisely

Prep the A-Team

WHERE ARE THEY! LET ME AT THEM!

Dekker, not that one

"DIDN'T I DIE ON A MISSION LIKE THIS?"
"Yeah, but you did go out with a bang"
"**** YEAH"
"Good to see you back though"
"Delivering freedom was never the same without you"
"Rheyah, you've taken my big gun!"
"SORRY MIKA. THERE WAS ONLY ONE"





"Here we go again"
"Least we can move two feet first"




"Way to piss off everyone Guy"
"Yeah, your point?"
"My point... what? That was my point"




"You'll never escape this time aliens! The CIA knows where you are!"





"Squad, engage defensive postures"








"Why is that thing still standing?"
"HE WON'T BE FOR LONG"


"Sectoid from above!"



"No, MY HAIR, MY HAIR HAS BEEN MESSED UP"
"I'll get my ass up there"
"Drones!"







"RHEYAH! GIVE ME MY GUN BACK"
"NO! I LIKE IT TOO MUCH"
"Don't worry Mika"





"Droid, don't you feel bad shooting them?"
"Mechanical beings are not on par with artificial intelligence"






"Sympathy attempt... processing... error"


"Move inside, we'll have better cover to find that Commander"




"Nothing, we're clear"
"Empty Meld... shame we didn't get here in time"
"At the safety of our troops, I'd call that a win"




"Found the Commander... with my face"
"This... is a great opportunity to catch him"





"Still a piece of crap, go figure"
"EXECUTING WITH PLEASURE"


"Commence split, engage from higher ground"


"Found another sectoid, he'll regret being so right wing"



"Great, of course I find more of these"
"I think... I think one is talking to me... I DON'T LIKE IT DIE"








"They're not so cute up close either"




"Thank you Gorgeous, they would have never been able to take me down for I would come back again and even more powerful than they'd ever imagine! You did them a service!"
"Uh... okay?"



"Back to going to see how quickly I can get myself killed"



"That one doesn't look like he wants to hug"



"Night night"


"I MADE IT TO THE OTHER SIDE"




"I hate this minigun"




"I'm moving up"


"EXALT? What the **** are they doing here?!"
"You got damned kidding me?"





"You will learn to regret crossing me. DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT THEY DID TO ME!?"






"When we find out where they're based, I will personally fly a damned nuke into their base"
"I don't think Command will allow that"



"DELICIOUS"



"Damn Mika, overkill much?"


"I will eat your face later!"



"Found the last floater"



"That wasn't the last one"




"Deja vu anyone?"
"Disorienting"



"Smoke deployed"
"I'VE GOT THE FLOATER"





"So far so good"
"Removing weakened target"





"FLANKING"




"He's all yours"
"With pleasure"




"He's down"
"Where'd the other one go?"
"It jumped down, we'll take him down soon"


"CONSIDER THAT TASK DONE"
"We're not done?"
"Check near the engines"
"NOPE. He's over here! EXALT man, who needs his face consumed"



"Good show people"
"Mission accomplished"
"Shame we didn't catch that sectoid"
"We'll have another chance"

[deathfun]

So with Double tap being the last perk Gortina gets, she is now the ultimate and most badass sniper I have. Obviously because she can shoot two people in one turn, then disable someone the next, then proceed to shoot two people again!

Crizza may be crazy, but he's certainly effective. More so now that he can finally move three bloody tiles. Sure, it was between that and rapid fire, but rapid fire wouldn't do as well if he couldn't get up close like he can now!

Commander, we're ready to build the key

What's this thing for?

So we can get into the base

But where's the base?

I don't know

So how do we know there's a base if we don't know where it is?

I DON'T KNOW BUT I WILL CONTINUE TO SAY THAT I CAN MAKE A KEY TO GET US IN THE BASE

**** it, do an intel sweep

Get new armour sets build ASAP, we're severely behind in that regards, and with the base coming up we'll need to be prepared

How many UFOs have passed over China?

No idea, but we can't intercept any of them

God dammit. Alright, someone get more laser cannons built, they're effective against the small ones

Commander! Large one has just crossed over Nigeria, abductor it seems

"Lepanto! Good to see you're moving and not laying around medbay"
"I was shot... badly"
"We've all been shot, to be fair"
"Some of us enjoy it more than others... isn't that right Mongoose"
"I sense a theme here"
"Get on my level you infidels, I *saw* God"




^{Veers legitimately looks like she's about to gouge someone's eyes out}

"How are we doing this?"
"Without dying"
"Words of wisdom from Animaze"




"Anyone hear the ding?"
"I don't believe there is anyone wanting to buy anything from the store today"


"Most definitely not"
"Guy, retreat to the roof, we'll cover anyone pursuing you"


"Nothing? That's... disconcerting"
"Hey, you see anything in there Lepanto?"
"Yeah, I've got two Mutons and another Berserker"


"Lets say hi!"



"That's... a few more roars than I anticipated"




"Oh ****"




"Get the **** up you lazy prick"
"Oh god that was worse than seeing the Clans invade for the first time..."




"Lepanto? You okay?"
"Huh... guess she has nothing to really panic about"
"...WHY DIDN'T I BOTHER STUDYING FOR THAT FINAL EXAM"



"That's the last thing I want to see go through the door"



"Your soul is unclean"


"Try not to kill it Veers"
"I will try not to eviscerate its bodily fluids to wear and strike fear into the enemy"


"...Bring me his head"







"It just jumped out of the window!"
"He's near the energy drinks!"




"This will not stand"



"Yeah, come a little closer to me..."


"I am going to keep him an name him Stubby"
"No, you're not going to keep him Crizza"
"YOU NEVER LET ME HAVE ANY FUN"




"I just wanted to see if they had sunshine and rainbows inside! I JUST WANTED TO TAKE A PEEK OFFICER"
"Right, okay, I'm surrounded by idiots"


"Whatever, Berserker down"



"What happened to Mongoose!"
"I don't really know! She was up, then she just went all limp!" ^{I don't know if this was by design, or some hilarious disproportionate glitch, but I don't like it. Mongoose was taken down *through* the wall by *melee*}






"Nice disable there Lepanto!"
"Don't let it go to waste"






"Two sectoids left"
"Where's the Muton going?"
"Probably bringing us into a trap"




"Get up"
"Maybe I liked writhing on the ground in pain"


"I've got you all covered up here"


"Got eyes on the Muton, moving in to stun"



"I'm... I'm in awe"
"Not done yet people"
"More souls need to be delivered to hell"



"Floaters!"
"More than that, big man coming in"



"Pull back, let them come"




"I am one with the rifle"





"Just the one left?"
"We want this one alive?"
"Screw him"



"We're clear"
"I'm liking this haul today"




<sup>Finally have a berserker, now I don't care about catching another because screw that

Shiny new endgame weapons!</sup>

[Mika]

PLEASE NOTIFY DR. SHEN OF AN ED-209 INCIDENT

MAKE SURE HE IS NOT LIKE THIS

TRYING TO KEEP MY BOYS BUSY, EH?

[Mongoose]

I don't know if this was by design, or some hilarious disproportionate glitch, but I don't like it. Mongoose was taken down *through* the wall by *melee*

Yeah that sounds like something that'd happen to me.

[crizza]

Command sucks balls!
I want my berserker...or the Muton... they allways ruin the fun!

[Mika]

I don't know if this was by design, or some hilarious disproportionate glitch, but I don't like it. Mongoose was taken down *through* the wall by *melee*

Yeah that sounds like something that'd happen to me.

That looked like a Berserker's bullrush to me. I guess the game glitched at not breaking the wall.

[deathfun]

PLEASE NOTIFY DR. SHEN OF AN ED-209 INCIDENT

MAKE SURE HE IS NOT LIKE THIS

TRYING TO KEEP MY BOYS BUSY, EH?

Glorious references

Yeah that sounds like something that'd happen to me.

Highly annoying it was

That looked like a Berserker's bullrush to me. I guess the game glitched at not breaking the wall.

I totally forgot about that
And yeah, it really confused me because the wall didn't break

The Council has been making an awful lot of requests for these things

We've got lots to spare, and they do pay a pretty penny

"I hate these types of missions"
"Fast and hard, that's how we need to do it"
"Four man crew... that brings back bad memories"




"Operative, you there?"
"Yeah, I'm sitting pretty"
"We've got you on the East side, or at least we'll try to be there"



"First relay down... long haul to the next one"
"We'll try to keep them busy"



"That's an awful lot of busy"
"****, alright, break their cover"


"Helluva shot Plum"
"Mopping up"



"They're all reloading on us"
"It's going to get hectic, NGTM, where are you?"
"Too damned far, and I've got a lot of heat over here"





"Trash, I'm not liking this one bit"
"Keep it tight, we've got a chance here"





"Yellow, I'm reading yellow damage here"
"Just a bit longer Plum, keep that MEC in one piece until then"


"Dammit!"




"Coming up on the red line here"
"Keep it together..."


"Second shot is a miss"
"I've gotta move here"


"****, took a bad hit"
"Trash, this isn't looking good here"




"Critical damage here!"
"Trash!"
"Yeah, I got you jr2, **** this ****, pull back to extraction"
"Roger"




"Almost there"
"They're in heavy pursuit!"


"Big Sky! Go go go! Get us the hell out of here"

Commander, we've got Mission Failure here

Now is not the time for mistakes... it was a bad mission either way, nothing could be done

We need to find these EXALT bastards and wipe them out

[deathfun]

Where's that other cell located?

Japan

Send another one, and hope we don't cock it up this time

Well that's entirely handy for us to keep on hand more often than not

I agree

Dr. Vahlen... you're sure that it won't get through that... right?

Ninety percent sure, yes

I don't like those numbers

Commander! We've got another large UFO on our scopes

Nothing we can do about it... where's it heading?

Prep the team for capture, and send in some of the rookies

"Rookie babysitting again eh?"
"On the bright side, we can then replace you when you die Guy"
"Whatever"
"Don't worry about those idiots. You stick near me, and I'll be sure to keep you all alive"
"Thanks for the comfort Scotty"
"And the more you see, the better I can cover from my lawnchair"
"Did you seriously bring a lawnchair Lepanto?"
"No, but I wish I did"




"Easy prey two o'clock!"
"Get the arc throwers ready"


"Our priority is that sectoid, lets try not to kill it"




"This is why I hate rookies, you guys can't hit ****"


"Alright, just a little bit mor-"


"Are you bloody kidding me?"
"Sorry..."
"God dammit, now we have this sorry consolation prize here"





"JUST HIT IT. THAT'S ALL YOU NEED TO DO"
"Calm down dart, jesus"



"Another carbine to add to our collection"
"Heading towards the library"



"He looks nice"


"Here he comes"






"You all literally have the worst sight picture"




"I am loving these new plasma guns"
"Keep your eyes up people, more incoming"



"I've seen plenty of anime with you, let me just say: do not want"




"Chalk up another kill"



"Easy"



"War and Peace... not even touched"
"Huh, how's that for symbolic"


"Pesty little buggers aren't they"
"Come to me"





"That's two down"
"Still got one more here"



"Damn, we went three for three on the arc throwers"
"Not so useless afterall"

[deathfun]

Well... that would've been useful a while ago when we were researching the heavy armour...

Hey, least we finally caught one

Our operative is ready to get the hell out of dodge

"I feel like this a bit deja vu"
"Hey, at least we've got some new armour... this **** is slick"
"Could take a few hits alright"
"SHINY"
"Yes, it's shiny"
"SO SHINY. LOOK AT THE GREEN. OOOOOOOOO"
"Who gave him the plasma carbine?"




"Straight line for both"
"Hey, how you doing over there?"
"Peachy, you all better have me covered"
"Yeah, we've got you on the second... but the first is all you"



"Looks like the fun is going to start early"



"I'm in position"
"Roger, alright people, lets stay alive shall we?"



"SO MUCH GREEN! It looks so tasty..."
"Don't choke on the smoke"





"IT TASTES LIKE BURNING"
"Hold on you idiot, I'm on my way"




^{I then I accidentally hit the skip turn button. Well **** me right?}

"We're being swarmed out here"
"Where the hell did EXALT get all these damned people?"


"Scientology, it's a terrible thing"




"**** **** **** ****"





"Nearly died twice there!"



"More incoming? Seriously?"
"No matter, I've got the intel"
"Lets get out of here"

[crizza]

This was a close one...

[deathfun]

Skies have been busy

Lets test out our new armour

"Oh man, this is some pretty awesome armour. I mean damn"
"Hey, the Aegis stuff is pretty good too"
"Yeah, not as good as Titan!"
"You'll get shot and killed anyways"
"MEC armour is better for it was created by God himself"
"It was actually the meld that did that... well I guess since it came from outerspace and aliens..."
"Don't encourage Hobbie"





"Primary objective here is capturing the aliens"
"We're really hammering that down aren't we"



"No contacts... not liking this"


"Sounds big"
"That's because it is!"





"He's not going to stand a chance here"






"Getting a vantage point"




"Only I can be one with God"


"Target is approaching critical condition"



"That's it?"
"Still got the one inside"






"He's good to go"
"Taking him down"


"Wait... that's it?"
"Four aliens? Well this was overkill"

[deathfun]

Major Lepanto, seems like you've achieved all that you could from the training programs here at XCOM. We congratulate you on your ability to basically do nothing and get something out of it. With the final upgrade of double tap, you'll now be able to stand your ground and wipe out anything that might come your way

With the costs of plasma weapons, it's definitely worth it to have these as options wouldn't you agree?

"Our fighter ACEs have been busy. I mean damn, another one down?"
"Then we get to mop up"
"Seems to be pretty effective so far, so I ain't complaining"
"I'd just like something that isn't this autolaser"
"Apparently, they're working on that"





"According to Central, the UFO crashed just up ahead"
"Aliens may have moved from the crashsite, so lets keep it defensive"




"Here we go people!"
"They're all heavies!"







"Ah screw you floater"


"They're all running around"
"Easy job for us then"




"Mills, you good there?"
"Yeah, little delayed, got some bastard behind me"



"Keep up the pressure, at this rate we might be able to catch a few"




"I'm going to risk it"



"Wasn't even worth it"
"We'll get him soon"



"That's it?"
"The other ones are retreating"



"The labs are going to love this"
"Hells yeah!"





"Moving to overwatch"



"I don't see him anymore"
"Movement in the back!"



"Small guy is down"
"In pursuit of the fella who was running"




"He's still trying to get away!"
"What a little *****"



"Dammit... killed him"
"No matter, we've still got the other one"



"What is he trying to accomplish?"
"He hasn't taken a shot at us once"






"He's still kicking!"
"You can take a little plasma"



"Way too easy"
"Amazing haul I'd say"

[deathfun]

Another one bites the dust. Oh, Commander, the Elerium generator was also finished. Dr. Shen wants to know what's next

Probably going to dismantle one of the fission generators and replacing it with a satellite nexus

Skies are nothing but busy these days... specifically over Asia...

It's why we equipped all the interceptors there with laser cannons

"Big gun, it has been too long"
"Heard there was an even bigger one being prepped in Engineering, pulse tech"
"OOOOOOOOOOH"
"Might be just as gorgeous as me, unlikely"
"Ready to capture some more aliens Mills?"
"You know it Guy"
"We've been exceptionally lucky... I'm surprised I haven't found myself in medbay for the longest time"





"I certainly hope the farmer didn't need to harvest anything anytime soon"
"He probably shat his pants and ran away. Hurr durr nuuu the aliens Martha!"
"That's rude"




"I've got Mutons over here!"
"Everyone, move to assist!"


"Berserker!"
"Oh god why do I ever go boots on ground..."




"The energy fellow is there"
"He's low priority"


"God damn those claws pack a punch!"
"Hold on Phantom"


"Do whatever it is you're doing FASTER"



"****, my armour is pretty well done for"





"Bang bang, you're no longer a thang"
"Stick to making beats, stay away from the rap"






"Scourge! I didn't even notice you there!"
"Yeah, was released from medbay and was told to suit up on my way out"


"Moving to stun"


"No go"
"Get him on the second time"





"I really hate those guys"
"Is it because they're in your colour?"
"No"
"GRENADE OUT... why don't I get to shoot him"
"Because your aim sucks still"



"Ah crap"


"Mills!"
"****!... I really liked him..."
"I liked him because he carried two arc throwers... now I'm stuck carrying this **** alone basically"
"Wow Guy... just... wow"



"He didn't die in vain at least"
"Yeah, he did die in vain. We could've just shot that guy"


"Both down"
"Is it worth it?"
"This is war, people will die. Your friends will die, and you will probably also die. But not before me. I'll die first because things hate me"
"I... didn't get to eviscerate anyone... I AM VERY DISAPPOINTED"
"Restrain Veers before she tears our captives apart"

[jr2]

So... I just did a search of this topic to see how I died.     ... Am I still alive??? 

[deathfun]

So... I just did a search of this topic to see how I died.     ... Am I still alive??? 

Yup
You're also a pretty good tank on the field after I slap a little bit of armour on you
Deaths to date (for HLP) were Hobbie, Mika, Plumguy, Rheyah, MP-Ryan, and Ironbeer

There have been however, lots of other people dropping dead and *very* close calls. The amount of times I've had to critically revive people is too damned high

[jr2]

Was going to make a funny caption about that

The amount of times I've had to critically revive people is too damned high

Found this while looking for an image, though it was funny and kind of along the same lines, lol:

[deathfun]

I should start referencing that more
Whoever did that video, props to them, that's was fantastic