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Author Topic: Enioch's naval shenanigans - RTW as Germany - [Image Heavy!]  (Read 49404 times)

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Offline StarSlayer

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Re: Enioch's naval shenanigans - RTW as Germany - [Image Heavy!]
Personally, I enjoy the heck out of ze Kaiser Memes.  Watching strategic geopolitical maneuvers planned with the very best of Prussian Realpolitik tm get thrown out on its ear because Willie has no filter, never gets old.  Plus the inevitable climatic clash with the Royal Navy is waiting in the wings. :P

“Think lightly of yourself and deeply of the world”

 

Offline Mika

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Re: Enioch's naval shenanigans - RTW as Germany - [Image Heavy!]
I think the ze Kaiser isn't bombastic enough for his namesake, he actually seems quite watered down!

Ze Kaiser hasn't been meddling much with ship design unlike certain King Gustav of Sweden, when he insisted the top deck to be fitted with cannons too large to the ship frame. The good king was an artillery man to the heart, and would take no for an answer. The subsequent sinking of the ship in the coastal waters of Stockholm still in the sight of the port was probably embarrassing to witness. The inquiry of the sinking found nobody to blame of the sinking. A group of Finnish student managed a fantastic student prank with the ship when it was lifted in the 1960s, but that's another story.

Meanwhile his contemporary's, Czar Nikolai II's guard managed to kill a bunch of protesters to the front steps of the Winter Palace in 1905. The Czar was also guided more often than not by his wife and the monk Rasputin, and this Czar was one of the root causes of the bolshevik revolution in Russia.
Relaxed movement is always more effective than forced movement.

 

Offline Enioch

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- PART 4 -
Adventures in Asia



"This is a personal insult which I feel and resent. For the work of my people to be stolen, for my repeated offers of friendship weighed and scrutinized with jealous, mistrustful eyes; this taxes my patience severely. I have said time after time that I am a friend of England, and your press --, at least, a considerable section of it -- bids the people of England refuse my proffered hand and insinuates that the other holds a dagger. How can I convince a nation against its will?

-Excerpt from Kaiser Wilhelm II's statement, published in the Daily Telegraph of 24th January 1911



December 1910; Blohm & Voss re-open drydocks 4 and C in Wilhelmshaven and Kiel respectively. They can now accommodate ships of up to 40k tons; and works are already underway to further expand the military facilities.





The good mood in the Admiralität does not last very long. In January, Counter-Intelligence report huge leaks from the R & D department, leaks that have Tirpitz come down like a ton of bricks on his archivists. The Brits now have the blueprints for our small tube boilers - and the bloody Japanese have our analog firing control computers.

The Kaiser explodes. His irate rants find their way to the press; and, in all honesty, von Mecklenburg does nothing to screen them. Realpolitik - His Imperial Majesty's government are very much aware that the final confrontation with the British block is coming. Perhaps the Japanese will need to be dealt with first - or perhaps von Mecklenburg will be able to manoeuver perfidious Albion into the war that Germany has been looking forward to for the past decade. In any case - we want to antagonise them.





Some good news (thankfully) mark the end of the month: SMS Hindenburg returns from her shakedown cruise. The largest warship in the world is now in active service - and her sisters are building...



Also, von Mecklenburg prepares for the worst. It's not clear whether the next scrap will be with the Brits or the Japanese; but in a joint action with Tirpitz, they submit the 1911 Naval Bill to the government. The motion
passes; and the naval budget gets a monthly 2 million Mark increase, to the jubilation of the Admiralität.



This money is immediately channeled into getting the work on Derfflinger back on track. With Wittelsbach herself less than two months from completion, work on the Luetzow (frozen for over a year) will shortly also be continued.





Yeeeees.









THERE ARE NO BRAKES ON THE SUBRAPE TRAIN.





After this development, Von Mecklenburg digs deep into his pockets yet again. Following the death of his first wife in 1908, he had remarried to Elisabeth zu Stolberg-Roßla, a woman thirty years his junior. They had spent their honeymoon in the Far East holdings of the German Empire and the Kanzler knew that, despite considerable efforts, the German base in Northern Korea was still quite small (especially now that the Japanese threat loomed). Von Mecklenburg generously donated the funds for an expansion of the Korean Naval Base and the construction of extensive submarine pens in the area; the Kaiser, not wishing to be outdone, also contributed a considerable sum.



May; and the first V3-class torpeboboats leave the docks. Germany now has a modern small-craft squadron, capable of serving as a solid screen for any line of battle.





Gottverdammt, Frenchies, but you are the best allies a Kanzler can hope for. Here's to a long friendship!



June 1911; and the first war reparations from Russia come rolling in. Industry in Germany booms.





Well, ****.

The news are surprising and (to all outside observers) grim. The alliance with France has expired; and the French make no official move to renew it, despite the pro-German policies of Prime Minister Caillaux. The British rejoice at what seems to be the death of Kerneuropa.

It's seemingly a hard blow for von Mecklenburg and his politics; and it is difficult not to interpret this as a French vote of no-confidence for von Mecklenburg's plans. Von Mecklenburg himself, though, remains optimistic; and he still enjoys the Kaiser's full backing. The future publication of the Kanzler's private document archive will show why:

France remains friendly to Germany. She will not be an ally in the upcoming war; therefore, French harbors will remain open and Great Britain's Grand Fleet will have no legal grounds to blockade them. With the French and Germans sharing borders, France can serve as a trading portal for Germany, greatly reducing the effectiveness of any Naval blockade, and allowing the flow of foodstuff and military supplies to her neighbour.

It is a masterstroke on behalf of von Mecklenburg - a masterstroke that will remain in the shadows for more than four decades.



**** YOU.

Your ****ing King has an extended double bottom and an extended double chin, British pig.





AHAHAHA. DEUTSCHLAND, DEUTSCHLAND ÜBER ALLES



And then there were two.



Meanwhile, Galster has not been idle. 10 new submarines have been laid down; all of the U-102 class. They are long-range, heavily armed boats, the best in the world; and they will serve as the backbone of the German Unterseeflotte for the wars to come.



Jesus Christ, Brits. Seriously?


« Last Edit: May 31, 2018, 10:14:06 am by Enioch »
'Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent'  -Salvor Hardin, "Foundation"

So don't take a hammer to your computer. ;-)

 

Offline Enioch

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Re: Enioch's naval shenanigans - RTW as Germany - [Image Heavy!]
A quick update, to get the keyboard singing again.
'Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent'  -Salvor Hardin, "Foundation"

So don't take a hammer to your computer. ;-)

 

Offline StarSlayer

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Re: Enioch's naval shenanigans - RTW as Germany - [Image Heavy!]
Out of curiosity I've noticed in both the IJN and now the Kaiserliche Marine you seem to favor a battle cruiser heavy order of battle.  Is that a personal preference or are BCs more effective in RtW then they're historical performance would suggest?
“Think lightly of yourself and deeply of the world”

 
Re: Enioch's naval shenanigans - RTW as Germany - [Image Heavy!]
From my understanding, given Enioch's tech advantage a lot of times, his battlecruisers are as well armed and armored as the enemy battleships.  That, and to a certain extent speed is armor, especially when the British have 15" naval rifles in the 1910's. :P
17:37:02   Quanto: I want to have sexual intercourse with every space elf in existence
17:37:11   SpardaSon21: even the males?
17:37:22   Quanto: its not gay if its an elf

[21:51] <@Droid803> I now realize
[21:51] <@Droid803> this will be SLIIIIIGHTLY awkward
[21:51] <@Droid803> as this rich psychic girl will now be tsundere for a loli.
[21:51] <@Droid803> OH WELLL.

See what you're missing in #WoD and #Fsquest?

[07:57:32] <Caiaphas> inspired by HerraTohtori i built a supermaneuverable plane in ksp
[07:57:43] <Caiaphas> i just killed my pilots with a high-g maneuver
[07:58:19] <Caiaphas> apparently people can't take 20 gees for 5 continuous seconds
[08:00:11] <Caiaphas> the plane however performed admirably, and only crashed because it no longer had any guidance systems

 

Offline Enioch

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Re: Enioch's naval shenanigans - RTW as Germany - [Image Heavy!]
From my understanding, given Enioch's tech advantage a lot of times, his battlecruisers are as well armed and armored as the enemy battleships.  That, and to a certain extent speed is armor, especially when the British have 15" naval rifles in the 1910's. :P

^^This, to some extent.
It's not so much the technology lead (although it clearly plays a role); it's more the size of the ships. The Wittelsbachs, for instance, are as big as some mid-to-lategame BB designs for the AI. I have made it a point to ALWAYS be enlarging my docks in ths play through, which means I can always build bigger than the other nations. And with more space and weight to play with, you can fit more armour and stuff.

The game has a strange auto-classification algorithm, that identifies what type your design corresponds to. The 25-knot speed of the capitals I have been building places them pretty squarely into the BC territory. BBs of this period would be around 21-22 knots.

However, as Sparda pointed out, like RL Germany, I'm sacrificing gun calibre, not protection. Most of my BCs are as well (or BETTER armoured) than what the Brits have in their BB line.

As for speed being arnour- eh. Kinda-sorta. 25 knots is relatively slow for BCs. At this point, a British-style BC of the Wittelbach's size would easily do 27 or more knots, especially with oil-fired boilers. But I've chosen to standardize ship speed, so that all my BCs can operate together. And given that, protection-wise, they are hybrid BBs, I can get away with it.
'Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent'  -Salvor Hardin, "Foundation"

So don't take a hammer to your computer. ;-)

 

Offline The E

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Re: Enioch's naval shenanigans - RTW as Germany - [Image Heavy!]
It accurately reflects the utter insanity that ship classification schemes are in real life.
Let there be light
Let there be moon
Let there be stars and let there be you
Let there be monsters and let there be pain
Let us begin to feel again
--Devin Townsend, Genesis

 

Offline Commander Zane

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Re: Enioch's naval shenanigans - RTW as Germany - [Image Heavy!]
It accurately reflects the utter insanity that ship classification schemes are in real life.
You should have seen the chaos in the English Kantai Collection communities over how to designate the new Kaibokan. From what I had read, they were apparently used like destroyer escorts, but built more like frigates, yet they were neither because they were a design nobody else really had. That's probably not right, but it was eventually too difficult to follow when the debate lasted an entire eight days and nobody is still happy.

 
Re: Enioch's naval shenanigans - RTW as Germany - [Image Heavy!]
They should've done a tie breaker via violent tournament style Team Deathmatch.
Did I hear team- oh wait that was me...

 

Offline Mika

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Re: Enioch's naval shenanigans - RTW as Germany - [Image Heavy!]
Quote
"This is a personal insult which I feel and resent. For the work of my people to be stolen, for my repeated offers of friendship weighed and scrutinized with jealous, mistrustful eyes; this taxes my patience severely. I have said time after time that I am a friend of England, and your press --, at least, a considerable section of it -- bids the people of England refuse my proffered hand and insinuates that the other holds a dagger. How can I convince a nation against its will?

-Excerpt from Kaiser Wilhelm II's statement, published in the Daily Telegraph of 24th January 1911

Wait, what? He seriously said that???  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:

Willy is actually starting to earn his namesake! There's some distance to Nikolai II to catch up, but it's getting there!

MIka is amused
Relaxed movement is always more effective than forced movement.

 

Offline Enioch

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Re: Enioch's naval shenanigans - RTW as Germany - [Image Heavy!]
Seriously, Mika? :p

Reality is stranger than fiction. Go read about the RL Daily Telegraph affair.

More than half of the text I posted is a direct quote (with considerable changes to fit the game event)
'Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent'  -Salvor Hardin, "Foundation"

So don't take a hammer to your computer. ;-)

 

Offline Mika

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Re: Enioch's naval shenanigans - RTW as Germany - [Image Heavy!]
Well, up to this point most what Willy has done is behind the curtains, at discussions between the diplomats, whose job is to filter the message. It is an entirely different thing of calling out the entire nation in press.  :lol: And, no, I didn't know about that incident - was never particularly interested in the events leading to WWI, where Willy seems to have been instrumental.

Can't deny that the guy had some cojones, but I still don't think it compares to some other questionable royalties if that remains his worst single blunder. Germany still had rather good people around ze Kaiser to soften the impact, where as the other countries were not as lucky.
Relaxed movement is always more effective than forced movement.

 

Offline Spoon

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Re: Enioch's naval shenanigans - RTW as Germany - [Image Heavy!]
the "Hello wrong animal" cracks me up each time

So while not direct related to the playthrough, it is somewhat relevant cool footage: https://www.liveleak.com/view?i=ef5_1496690103
Urutorahappī!!

[02:42] <@Axem> spoon somethings wrong
[02:42] <@Axem> critically wrong
[02:42] <@Axem> im happy with these missions now
[02:44] <@Axem> well
[02:44] <@Axem> with 2 of them

 

Offline Enioch

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Re: Enioch's naval shenanigans - RTW as Germany - [Image Heavy!]
the "Hello wrong animal" cracks me up each time

 :confused: I've missed the joke, sorry. What are you referencing here?

So while not direct related to the playthrough, it is somewhat relevant cool footage: https://www.liveleak.com/view?i=ef5_1496690103

Ah, the S-H. What a beautiful grey block of a ship.

Kinda like the PzKpfw VI of the seas. Only older. And more crappy.
'Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent'  -Salvor Hardin, "Foundation"

So don't take a hammer to your computer. ;-)

 

Offline Spoon

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Re: Enioch's naval shenanigans - RTW as Germany - [Image Heavy!]
:confused: I've missed the joke, sorry. What are you referencing here?


It's your own joke  :p
Urutorahappī!!

[02:42] <@Axem> spoon somethings wrong
[02:42] <@Axem> critically wrong
[02:42] <@Axem> im happy with these missions now
[02:44] <@Axem> well
[02:44] <@Axem> with 2 of them

 

Offline Enioch

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Re: Enioch's naval shenanigans - RTW as Germany - [Image Heavy!]
Orite.

Whoops.  :nervous:
'Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent'  -Salvor Hardin, "Foundation"

So don't take a hammer to your computer. ;-)

 

Offline Enioch

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Wir wollen uns'ren alten Kaiser Wilhelm wiederhaben




"Gradually, it became clear to me that we would need to overcome one final hurdle before facing our most powerful enemy. True to her policy of centuries, Albion threw her allies at us. Her latest scheme was to open a new theatre of operations, in the Far East.

"I was familiar with the Japanese way of thinking. This would require great care and meticulous planning, perhaps more than any other opponent we had faced in the past."

-From the private writings of Herzog Johann Albrecht von Mecklenburg, Reichskanzler 1902-1920.



October begins with the opening of the new drydocks in Kiel and Tanga, followed by the launching of the new Blohm & Voss floating drydocks in November. Germany can now build ships up to 45k tons and maintain them. There are no funds for any new capitals, at this point in time, but when the time comes, the new generation of German capital ships will be true behemoths.



In December, the French approach the Admiralität and ask to purchase licences for the lightweight sloped deck armor schemes the Germans are experimenting with. Tirpitz puts the proposal on ice. The French are, technically, no longer Germany's allies; and it's a good idea to keep some bait in reserve, to ensure their full co-operation in the inevitable coming war.





In January, R & D introduces new quality control procedures into all German shipbuilding facilities. Armor is now more consistent, and german steel is of higher quality.



...And then immediately, Counter-intelligence reports possible breaches of security in R & D facilities. Tirpitz and Galster rage. No-one has time for this ****. It's obviously the ****ing Italians sneaking around on behalf of the British, ****ing Spaghetti-gobbling mother-****ers.



Blohm + Voss helps defuse the situation, when they sponsor a further expansion of the Wilhelmsaven docks.





Oh God, yes, please. Now our capital ships can kick ass in all kinds of weather, with both large and small caliber guns.

No more flooded casemates!



Well done, Frau Zelle. Let's see what the Russkies are building...



Oooooh, an OTL Dreadnought-type!

Well, it's slower than the Wittelsbachs, it's got less guns per broadside, it has a thinner belt and, holy ****, the conning tower has less armor than the belt. Nicky, stahp. Nicky, what R U doin?

The German analysts immediately come to the conclusion that no sane Russian admiral would ever seek to command such a ship. Any shot to the bridge or conning tower would turn them into charnel-houses.



Especially given the new explosives the Germans start producing. Estimates indicate that German shells now hit with comparable power to English shells coming from guns of 1-inch larger calibers. Who needs 13-inch guns, when 12-inchers are lighter and hit just as hard?

Germany does. Please, God, grant us larger guns



April - and the Rheinland booms. Mecklenburg completes the tax reforms that he's been working on for the last three years and German industry responds magnificently. A windfall of tax revenue means that the Navy enjoys an increased budget.



And the new quality control measures pay off, with lighter and tougher steel alloys being tested in the Yards.



This makes Tirpitz a very happy man. With the new materials, German naval engineers can start designing larger Torpedobootzerstoerer, with the same or better capabilities than their lighter cousins. A preliminary eleven-hundred ton design is submitted for consideration, nothing more than a hull for now. Yet Tirpitz, ever a closet fan of the light craft is intrigued.





Especially when he learns of this new breakthrough. Eight thousand yards range? Yes, please.

He goes to congratulate the research personnel...



...and finds out they've been basing everything on stolen Russian designs.



What the ****. How can the Russians be ahead of us in anything, we've kicked their heads in twice and their economy is in shambles.



Case in point. Potential for 47k ships, going to 49k next October, thank you very much.



Of course the Italians should be well-advised to remember who won the last war. And they should damn well keep their agents out of our R & D facilities.

The Kaiser speaks the truth and his words are inspired. No, we don't care that Italy is the one country which does not hate our guts.



July 1912: With Derfflinger less than 5 months from completion and the two Arconas almost ready to be commissioned, R & D plops out a new pump design. Work on this project had started since the report of Marinesekretaer Michael Kohlhaas on the Moltke flooding. The new high-capacity pumps should greatly assist with similar situations in the future.



And, with new pumps, Germany can also build new U-Boote. Eleven new boats are laid down in Kiel.





****.

Well, welcome to the navy, Arcona and Undine. Shame about the performance issues. Still, 28 knots is nothing to sneeze at. Galster certainly hails their addition to his scouting forces with great pleasure - and future light cruisers will be better built.



August 1912: and, shortly after the commissioning ceremony for the Undine, Tirpitz holds the opening speech in the annual gathering of the Flottenverein. He has spent weeks preparing for this, in collaboration with von Mecklenburg and the Kaiser.

His speech is short, and to the point: the Far Eastern theatre of operations can no longer be ignored. Germany has interests in the area, interests that are now threatened by the ambitions of Japan. Germany must be prepared to defend her holdings and the interests of her citizens in the Far East, and the Fleet stands ready to do so.



Then, the word is given. First, the five Schwaben-class battleships, still patrolling the Mediterranean, are recalled and scrapped, to release the funds for a new terrifying new class of warship (more on that to come).

Following that, Konteradmiral Maximilian von Spee is sent to take command of the East Asia squadron, based on Tsingtaou. He will be commanding a force of light cruisers, meant to patrol and safeguard the waters there.



YES. Semi-Armor-Piercing eats DDs for breakfast.



...we were preparing. For war

WHAT ARE YOU THINKING, YOU WARFH$#&(^gflasdrakkkkk...




« Last Edit: May 31, 2018, 10:13:41 am by Enioch »
'Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent'  -Salvor Hardin, "Foundation"

So don't take a hammer to your computer. ;-)

 

Offline Enioch

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Re: Enioch's naval shenanigans - RTW as Germany - [Image Heavy!]
I ATEN'T DEAD.
'Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent'  -Salvor Hardin, "Foundation"

So don't take a hammer to your computer. ;-)

 

Offline The E

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Re: Enioch's naval shenanigans - RTW as Germany - [Image Heavy!]
From a report filed for the attention of Captain Sir Mansfield George Smith-Cumming in his capacity of Director of the Secret Service Bureau:

Quote
Implications of advances in german shipbuilding capacities

[Salutations omitted]

Reports from our agents stationed in Hamburg, Kiel and Bremen have reached us on [date omitted]. They conclusively prove that the sustained expansion of german shipbuilding capacity and capability continues unabated; we estimate that the Imperial Navy could in theory lay down hulls in excess of 45000 tons. While our colleagues in Naval Intelligence and Economic Analysis concur that they are unlikely to do so any time soon (It is believed that the germans still haven't managed to come up with a design for a 14- or 15-inch gun in comparable quality to their existing 12-inch guns, and based on our estimates of the german economy, the funds to lay down a ship larger than their existing designs do not currently exist).
It is obvious to us that, in the absence of a raid by His Majesty's Navy on the shipyards, efforts should be directed towards finding a way to delay german research efforts or exploit known weaknesses in the german command structure.

(Handwritten note, scrawled in the margins, handwriting consistent with that of Captain Cumming: Inquire with Inglis about Alexandra's refit, maybe steer some german journalists to her?)

While it is perhaps soothing to know that no new monster ships are at this moment emerging from german slipways, there are economic considerations that are perhaps even more worrying than purely military concerns. German-flagged trade ships are already a common sight in harbours worldwide, and german-built vessels are today seen flying a multitude of other flags. The new shipyards are unlikely to remain idle for long, and once they start working for civilian interests, the increase in trade capacity will have cumulative effects, eventually displacing british trade companies from their established routes, with obvious effects on tax income here at home.

Our recommendations are therefore....

[Rest of the memo unreadable due to damage sustained in a fire in SSB HQ in 1917]

« Last Edit: July 01, 2017, 09:57:46 am by The E »
Let there be light
Let there be moon
Let there be stars and let there be you
Let there be monsters and let there be pain
Let us begin to feel again
--Devin Townsend, Genesis