Hard Light Productions Forums
Off-Topic Discussion => General Discussion => Topic started by: KappaWing on February 17, 2007, 09:31:35 pm
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How high (how many stories) would one need to jump from a building to be 100% sure of an instant death?
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How high (how many stories) would one need to jump from a building to be 100% sure of an instant death?
Uh, and why would one need to know this?
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Indeed. Regardless, One can never be certain (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alan_Magee). But seriously, don't go out and try to replicate that.
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But he went through a window [glass.
****ing answers please
Content, Substance! Answers!
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It depends on too many variables, how you land, what you land on, and soforth.
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...what you land on, and soforth.
Yeah, aim for a fat bloke.
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And jumping from a building chances are something else will break the fall, possibly even a nice cushy overweight pedestrian. There is no 100% certainty, that's a simple fact - Amazingly, the human body is too durable and terminal velocity too low, which is quite cool when you think about it :) Best I can give you is that terminal velocity is achieved after about 15 seconds of free falling, which by my rough estimate would require an altitude of about 1.5 kilometres to achieve.
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Should I be calling someone right now? :doubt:
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Alright i will specify the variables.
130 pound male
X amount of stories
diving headfirst into pavement
What value of X will achieve certain instant, death.
X=???????????????????
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terminal velocity for that human body is roughly @120 feet. falling headfirst, slamming into pavement death will happen at 40 feet. head first: neck breaks severing spinal cord.shoving scapula,clavical into your lungs as well as your brains will splat for about a10 foot diameter kind of like a rotten grape, example: take a beer/soda can on end and f---ing jump on it thats what happens...Kind readers don't attempt this at home
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Wouldn't OD'ing on sleeping pills be a lot easier. :nervous:
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Should we be alerting the local authorities?
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Stop assuming things, this isnt about what you think. Thank you for the answer Tamlin. Thread closed.
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Is it a homework assignment?
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2 stories high, make sure you land on the head
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Nah, if you want to kill yourself with style, you pull a gun on the President and let his sharpshooters do the work for you. A showy death and a quick route to the history books.
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You really can find just about everything on HLP
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For better or for worse...
KappaWing? You don't have to say of course but I am kinda curious about what this is all about - especially if it's not what we think - which is you trying to find out how best to ensure a quick and painful suicide...
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If you want quick and painless, just overdose on sleeping pills.
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A while ago (2 days ago methinks) in the news - a guy jumps with a parachute from 5000m.
It turnes out both the main and the spare wouldn't open.
He falls, he SURVIVES!
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A while ago (2 days ago methinks) in the news - a guy jumps with a parachute from 5000m.
It turnes out both the main and the spare wouldn't open.
He falls, he SURVIVES!
Not the first time, too..... as an aside, the longest free-fall survival without a parachute was 33,000 feet (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vesna_Vulovic) on wreckage, or 20,000 or so (http://www.greenharbor.com/fffolder/ffallers.html) without. Crikey.
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Play it safe and take the fith or sixth store, should be pretty certain.
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A while ago (2 days ago methinks) in the news - a guy jumps with a parachute from 5000m.
It turnes out both the main and the spare wouldn't open.
He falls, he SURVIVES!
Not the first time, too..... as an aside, the longest free-fall survival without a parachute was 33,000 feet (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vesna_Vulovic) on wreckage, or 20,000 or so (http://www.greenharbor.com/fffolder/ffallers.html) without. Crikey.
Oh my god...I cannot fathom surviving a fall from 33,000 feet. Thats incredible! I mean 20,000 feet is unbelievable too...but....geeze.
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well can you fathom surviving getting throughen from a car going 100 mph? cause that's a human's terminal velocity, it doesn't mater how far you fall you won't go faster than that (unless were talking orbital distances)
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For better or for worse...
KappaWing? You don't have to say of course but I am kinda curious about what this is all about - especially if it's not what we think - which is you trying to find out how best to ensure a quick and painful suicide...
painful? your brain is splattered before it can feel anything, correct?
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Painless, sorry - not really with it.
Well, I'm assuming it's painless. Haven't experienced it for myself but you'd hope it'd be over quickly.
Of more concern to me though, is why this is even being discussed at all?
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If you managed to land on your head, I'm sure you would experience a split-second of intense pain before you.. well.. didn't experience anything anymore, ever.
Here's some advice: Don't jump off a building. If you hate yourself that much, the least you could do is effect a cleaner method, so some poor bastard wouldn't have to mop up your brains and guts off the road. :blah:
I'm hoping that this is some sort of twisted physics assignment. But if it isn't, it would be much more painless to get ~30 hits of (XTC, THC, PCP etc) and go with glee.
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To the people who made comments about sleeping pills:
They think if they take an overdose of sleeping pills they'll just go to sleep and never wake up. Instead they wake up choking on their own vomit, and there's the emergency room and stomach pumping and brain damage, and it's the opposite of relief for their suffering. People try all sorts of things that don't work, all horrible.
No thanks for the advice.
the death must be instantaneous. any pills or drugs of some sort, i'm not interested in anyway.
If you managed to land on your head, I'm sure you would experience a split-second of intense pain before you.. well.. didn't experience anything anymore, ever.
Would you really? It takes about a split second for the nervous system to recieve, transmit, and process the signal. I think one's brain would be a bit to fragmented to think (instantaneous splatter) before the pain is processed. Can anyone confirm me on this?
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I think that before this goes any farther, you need to tell us what this is about. You now have a lot of people (myself included) very worried about what you are planning to do with this information. If this is what it appears to be, then you need to talk to someone. What you are asking about now is not the answer.
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I agree. Kappa, what's up man?
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Would you really? It takes about a split second for the nervous system to recieve, transmit, and process the signal. I think one's brain would be a bit to fragmented to think (instantaneous splatter) before the pain is processed. Can anyone confirm me on this?
Um, the brain can survive a while without oxygen, so if it wasn't done in immediately by the trauma, and/or the fall was interrupted by something (ie, you brushed against the building instead of falling straight down), it could get very painful laying there..
..You now have a lot of people (myself included) very worried about what you are planning to do with this information. If this is what it appears to be, then you need to talk to someone. What you are asking about now is not the answer.
Seconded..
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The question is a trick in and of itself. Jumping from ANY height will not ensure an instant death. The higher you are, the longer you fall, filled with the natural fear of falling and eventual death. So in essence, that wont work either...
But either way, WTF??
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I think that before this goes any farther, you need to tell us what this is about. You now have a lot of people (myself included) very worried about what you are planning to do with this information.
I agree...Kappa, whatever you're thinking about, just let it out.
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Please do!Explain!!
By the away no death is instant.it's going to die then death. and the only way to really find out is to ask a dead person.
I was an autopsy assistant for 5 years at Bay State medical center before opening my Bistro.
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Autopsy assistant who opened a Bistro??
I don't want to know what is in that spaghetti.
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KappaWing:
A lot of people on this forum, myself included, are concerned that you are planning to literally use the 'information' in this thread. Please address our concerns!
If you are seriously contemplating suicide, then I'd suggest stepping back and really looking hard at your situation. No matter which option you pick, all forms of suicide involve some degree of pain. Pain not just to yourself, and not just physical. I'm sure you've got family and friends - not to mention the people on this board - who would be devastated if you go down that route. When you prepare yourself mentally to end your own life, you end up dehumanizing yourself. You end up acknowledging your lack of self worth, which is inherently contradictory: You care enough to ask for a painless death, so you can go with dignity.
Don't worry. You're a pretty intelligent and respectable guy. You're not too far gone or crazy. The best thing for you to do, in my opinion, is find someone you can really talk to - and get some stuff off your chest. You don't even have to do it on this board, if that bothers you.
And if you are religious - please consider meditating on what your actions really mean, not just for you but everyone around you.
Good luck.
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I completely agree with fsi.scsi, but I don't think that you're really suicidal, you seem rational enough not to try that.
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My bet is that he's writing a book or story.
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My bet is that he's writing a book or story.
Hopefully so. That would put the title of this thread into a little more perspective.
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or... MURDER!
...cue dangerous music...
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I completely agree with fsi.scsi, but I don't think that you're really suicidal, you seem rational enough not to try that.
I agree i'm not suicidal. Circumstances have forced me into that "domain" though. Something has definatley snapped.
fsi.scsi, jr2, and others, thank you for the support. i have been talking to people who have given me many perspectives.... and it helps. it does not do anything to resolve the specific situation that got me here, however. I am willing to give myself time because there is a small but somewhat substantial chance that things will improve.
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Good God, this is something new in HLP annals.
But seriously KappaWing man, take care. Find something that gives you some release, or happiness, or whatever, and indulge for a while. Things will improve, for sure.
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painful? your brain is splattered before it can feel anything, correct?
Nervous impulses move at the speed of light or close to it, which is considerably faster then your falling body will move as it impacts whatever is below, and you will feel something. You will also feel something if you shoot yourself in the head. Not for very long, granted, but it's still there.
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Good God, this is something new in HLP annals.
But seriously KappaWing man, take care. Find something that gives you some release, or happiness, or whatever, and indulge for a while. Things will improve, for sure.
Yes, all the best, KappaWing.
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Nervous impulses move at the speed of light or close to it, which is considerably faster then your falling body will move as it impacts whatever is below, and you will feel something. You will also feel something if you shoot yourself in the head. Not for very long, granted, but it's still there.
Nervous impulse is not an electric impulse. It's an electhrochemical impulse. Ions move significantly slower than individual electrons in a conduit. The speed of nervous impulse varies somewhat, depending about conditions and nerves in question. Some sources (http://hypertextbook.com/facts/2002/DavidParizh.shtml) cite the speed for muscle control signals to be about 120 m/s, touch sensor signal at about 70-80 m/s and pain (surprisingly) less than one metre per second. The maximum speed seems to hang at around that 120 m/s, though. Not that it matters anyway considering this thread, but I am obsessive-compulsive fact-correcter, sorry about that...
Then the serious stuff... :eek:@this thread. Creeps me.
Take care KappaWing. Don't kill yourself. It's redundant anyway. You'll have that dying part most definitely at some point of your life, so why bother speed up the task that the universe will eventually handle by itself. And while it's doing it's job, why won't get as much out of life as you get.
If everything else fails - remember the Python Quote #1 (and the song associated to it): "You start with nothing, you end up with nothing. Watcha lost? Nothing!"
You can't end up with negative score, whatever you do. That's the best part of the life as far as I'm concerned.
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if you defenstrate yourself god will kill 10 000 kittens!
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I agree i'm not suicidal. Circumstances have forced me into that "domain" though. Something has definatley snapped.
fsi.scsi, jr2, and others, thank you for the support. i have been talking to people who have given me many perspectives.... and it helps. it does not do anything to resolve the specific situation that got me here, however. I am willing to give myself time because there is a small but somewhat substantial chance that things will improve.
Is this one of those "I'm worth more dead than alive" scenarios? If so, you might want to change your viewpoint. A person's life is always (well, mostly anyway) more valuable than monetary status. Anybody who thinks otherwise is a fool and a coward.
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It's good that you have found someone to talk to. Keep talking to them. It can only help. Just whatever you do, don't quit. I've been in some tough times myself, where things really seemed impossible. What kept me going, and eventually improved my circumstances, was having someone to talk to. It can make you feel better and even lead to a solution to your problems. It did in my case.
The other people on this board are right, every life has value. And there are still people who care about you.
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EDIT: This probably wasn't necessary.
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:wtf:
headfirst into pavement, you're looking at about 40 feet. 20 would likely cause you to break your neck, perhaps not fatally. Problem being that a body will never fall directly straight down without changing orientation, so you may want to think about something on the order of 1-200 feet, to just go with the utter pulverization of stuff-ness...
:nervous:
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Oh hell maybe I shouldn't have answered but.. Dude, what ever it is. Things will and do get better.Nothing is worth that,keep talking to the people or person you are.
Scuddie don't worry about my sauces.... It's the sausages that i make that you should try ;)
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Don't give up your life; there is always something you can do. God (or whatever you believe in) will take you when it is your time. If God wants you dead in 10 seconds... trust me... you'll be dead in 10 seconds!
Good luck and Godspeed.
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Find something that gives you some release,
Might want to change that wording there.
Also, best of luck KappaWing with whatever it is you're going through.
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A girl I know fell forty feet and broke her back, and will be in a wheel chair for the rest of her life, please, if you decide to kill yourself, don't do it this way.
Life can be ****ty, there's no doubt about that, people hurt, people die, people kill each other, people hurt each other, and you and everyone you love will eventually die. Some days it doesn't seem like it's worth going on... but if you look hard enough, there are things and people that make it worth it to get up in the morning. Even if life doesn't get better, even if you spend it in pain, there's always something or someone worth living for, and even if that leaves, the exchange made both you and the object of your attention better in some way, and there's probably something else around the corner. Don't give up on life, demand all you can out of it while you still have it.
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Or better yet, just not do it. There's always a chance for things to get better, no matter how bad it seems - Except if you're dead. Indeed, if it's bad enough to contemplate suicide, I can pretty much guarantee that it will get better in time, as it sure as hell won't get worse.
So the best solution is to give it time, and if possible talk to someone about it, and while things may suck for a while they will not continue to do so indefinitely. Some may think of suicide as the last option, but in my opinion, it's simply no option at all: There's always a better way. Assuming that like the majority of the members here you're not all that old, you've got, what, at least 40 years ahead of you, and even if this one sucks that doesn't mean the next 39 might not turn out great even if that seem remote at this time.
Get through this, and in a few years you'll be probably happy you didn't take the "easy" way out. Best of luck, and keep fighting instead of giving up :)
[Edit] On the topic of finding someone to talk to: (800) 231-1127 is the number for a free 24hr crisis hotline in Michigan, which seems to be your location based on your profile. Might be worth a look, if nothing else to get a professional opinion instead of us freaks.
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No, you guys are great. I've done some things to probe into the situation and my chances of things turning out ok have drastically increased... to about 2% :sigh:
Although still, the increase has left me feeling a little better and out of the domain for now, but it could sink again very easily.
I know i probably have quite a bit of life ahead of me. I'm 15. But when youre thinking like I did this morning, you lose sight of all rational things like that.
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Try this. Don't think about yourself, or any problems you might be facing. Think about other people. Close people, like friends and family. Think about how much you enjoy their company and how much they enjoy yours.
Just find some people to help cheer you up. :) Also, from a moral imperative point-of-view, think how much of a hole you'd leave in other people's lives if you weren't there. You have a moral imperative not to make that hole. :)
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Plus, look at this. If you had doubt that people would be there for you, you have practically an entire forum of people worried about you now. :)
You have people you can count on, if that helps any.
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I'm way too late, but whatever, I'm glad you're starting to come to your senses. A kid commited suicide last week at a neighbouring school, I didn't know him but my friends did, and they were really upset, heck, I didn't even know him, but I felt a pang when I saw his picture, he looked so happy...
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Try this. Don't think about yourself, or any problems you might be facing. Think about other people. Close people, like friends and family. Think about how much you enjoy their company and how much they enjoy yours.
Just find some people to help cheer you up. :) Also, from a moral imperative point-of-view, think how much of a hole you'd leave in other people's lives if you weren't there. You have a moral imperative not to make that hole. :)
Yeah, due to some recent developments to improve my situation, I'm at the point where I can start thinking about that again and i'm not obsessivley focused. I think the worst is over though. Good points UT and Fragrag. Thank you all for your support. I will keep you posted.
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Good. Keep us posted on what happens.
Good luck. I know you'll get through it.
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Things always start to get better. :)
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Good luck and Godspeed.
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No, you guys are great. I've done some things to probe into the situation and my chances of things turning out ok have drastically increased... to about 2% :sigh:
Although still, the increase has left me feeling a little better and out of the domain for now, but it could sink again very easily.
I know i probably have quite a bit of life ahead of me. I'm 15. But when youre thinking like I did this morning, you lose sight of all rational things like that.
15 and you're allready on that train of thought?! :eek2:
Where the hell do you live? Guantanamo? North Korea?...
No, seriously, try finding things that relax you, or simply learn to enjoy the simple things in life..
Take me for instance - I like to relax listening to classical music or playing with my dog.
And sometimes I feel practicly rejuvinated by taking a deep breath of fresh sea air.
Or simply standing with my eyes closed on a cold day (on a place where some sunrays burts forth)...
Or lying on the beach at night, gazing into the stars while listening to hte sounds of waves..
Just examples, but I hope you'll get what I mean. Hope things work out for you, and I bet they will.
When you're 15 your emotional state can be rather...chaotic...
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15 and you're allready on that train of thought?! :eek2:
Where the hell do you live? Guantanamo? North Korea?...
No, seriously, try finding things that relax you, or simply learn to enjoy the simple things in life..
Take me for instance - I like to relax listening to classical music or playing with my dog.
And sometimes I feel practicly rejuvinated by taking a deep breath of fresh sea air.
Or simply standing with my eyes closed on a cold day (on a place where some sunrays burts forth)...
Or lying on the beach at night, gazing into the stars while listening to hte sounds of waves..
Just examples, but I hope you'll get what I mean. Hope things work out for you, and I bet they will.
When you're 15 your emotional state can be rather...chaotic...
You'd be surprised at the numbers of kids 18 and under that have cut themselves, attempted to overdose, or otherwise physically harmed themselves - in the good old U.S.A.
Not to mention the emotional torture that many go through.
Some people mentioned the topic of professional help. I for one would caution against wholesalely plunging down this route. While most people manning hotlines and such are kind and compassionate, more than a few are downright nasty.
On a side note, one of the worst pieces of advice I ever got was to find a "vice" to get rid of my stress. KappaWing, it's ultimately up to you to root through all the advice you get - not just on this forum but from your friends, family, confidants, whatever - and do what you think is right.
Good luck again.
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Suicide and self harm seem to be intigrated in Western Society... I don't know anyone who can honestly say that the though hasn't crossed their minds
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Right now I'm actually doing pretty good. Thinking reasonably again.
Things will most likely stay as they are, anxious, for 2-3 days. Then either I go back to my normal, non-depressed self (hell, i may be upright estatic), or i may sink back into the domain; All depending on what takes place. Its kind of a 50/50 chance as I see it now.
Once again, thank you for all the support guys. It really feels nice, once I get that perspective back and I'm out of an obsessive, single-minded mentality that I was in when I created this thread.
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Good luck. I know you'll get through it.
Psst. When the topic is defenestration, don't say that! :nervous:
:D
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when ever I contemplate suicide I just think of all the people who have wronged me, all the people who have abandoned me all the people who underestimated me and I realize that if I kill my self it's giveing up, it would be me forfeiting in the middle of the game, I'm not a quitter, and I'll be damned before I let those ****ers win, I'll show them I'll show them ALL!!!
then I have converted my depression into a dark rage, which I can then convert into potentially constructive energy(depending on your definition of 'constructive') or self esteem. and I usually end up make a new knife sword weapony type thing, or half heartedly trying to stalk people over the internet (never works out very well, most of the people I want to stalk don't seem to use the internet much and I'm too lazy to do real stalking, too much effort).
there's also the fact that I won't get to see the next eppisode of BSG or start treck or what ever show I happen to be into at the time.
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when ever I contemplate suicide I just think of all the people who have wronged me, all the people who have abandoned me all the people who underestimated me and I realize that if I kill my self it's giveing up, it would be me forfeiting in the middle of the game, I'm not a quitter, and I'll be damned before I let those ****ers win, I'll show them I'll show them ALL!!!
then I have converted my depression into a dark rage, which I can then convert into potentially constructive energy(depending on your definition of 'constructive') or self esteem. and I usually end up make a new knife sword weapony type thing, or half heartedly trying to stalk people over the internet (never works out very well, most of the people I want to stalk don't seem to use the internet much and I'm too lazy to do real stalking, too much effort).
there's also the fact that I won't get to see the next eppisode of BSG or start treck or what ever show I happen to be into at the time.
Thats the way to do it :) . Utilize the energy you use thinking about it toward something else. You will be surprised what you can accomplish.
Irrational thought and fear is a dangerous thing. Just keep telling yourself that your fears are irrational (because its 99% likely they are).
to everyone but kappawing:
**please quit reading here if you have a tendancy to flame religious people
I dont know if you are religious, but praying has helped me tremendously during bad times. I have never considered something like suicide before, but i have had plenty of bad times and I know it is not a good feeling. You can feel helpless and lost. I don't care what people say about religion and god and how he doesnt exist. I know he does by what he has done for me. Just tell god your problems in prayer and about how overwhelmed you feel. Ask for a sign from god that he is with you and that things will get better and he WILL answer. It is weird how it works, but it does. It is one of God's promises. If you want some verses that would help you please PM me, I have loads of them.
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Thats the way to do it :) . Utilize the energy you use thinking about it toward something else. You will be surprised what you can accomplish.
Irrational thought and fear is a dangerous thing. Just keep telling yourself that your fears are irrational (because its 99% likely they are).
to everyone but kappawing:
**please quit reading here if you have a tendancy to flame religious people
I dont know if you are religious, but praying has helped me tremendously during bad times. I have never considered something like suicide before, but i have had plenty of bad times and I know it is not a good feeling. You can feel helpless and lost. I don't care what people say about religion and god and how he doesnt exist. I know he does by what he has done for me. Just tell god your problems in prayer and about how overwhelmed you feel. Ask for a sign from god that he is with you and that things will get better and he WILL answer. It is weird how it works, but it does. It is one of God's promises. If you want some verses that would help you please PM me, I have loads of them.
Well they can go ahead and flame me then.
When I go through hard times, I pull out my favorite verses. :)
9And he came thither unto a cave, and lodged there; and, behold, the word of the LORD came to him, and he said unto him, What doest thou here, Elijah?
10And he said, I have been very jealous for the LORD God of hosts: for the children of Israel have forsaken thy covenant, thrown down thine altars, and slain thy prophets with the sword; and I, even I only, am left; and they seek my life, to take it away.
11And he said, Go forth, and stand upon the mount before the LORD. And, behold, the LORD passed by, and a great and strong wind rent the mountains, and brake in pieces the rocks before the LORD; but the LORD was not in the wind: and after the wind an earthquake; but the LORD was not in the earthquake:
12And after the earthquake a fire; but the LORD was not in the fire: and after the fire a still small voice.
1st Kings 19:9-12
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Bobboau: The first paragraph.... man that is one of the first things i thought about when i came back to my senses! My math teacher (I'm convinced) that hes determined to destroy me. I get A's and B's in every other subject, but I'm borderline failing his class, and math is supposedly my strong point. If i fail his class, i get kicked out of my school. (This has nothing to do with why i'm depressed, mind you) But i know i can beat him. I have to work my arse off but I can and will beat him. The problem is i just cant bring my mind to those things when I'm in suicidal obsessive mode.
Good luck. I know you'll get through it.
Psst. When the topic is defenestration, don't say that! :nervous:D
:wakka:
Thats... just great. :lol:
MatthewPapa:
Although I am not Christian, I deeply appreciate your perspective. A short time ago, someone from this very board offered to pray for me. I appreciated it, i needed all the help i could get back then regardless of my judgement of reliability, and i certainly had nothing to lose. So far things are getting better but I'm definatley not out of the mud yet. Right now all i can do is wait.
----- (the following is long winded and mostly pointless)
Just to give some backround, this is not the first time I felt this way. During the summer after 8th grade I was in an intense, prologed depression (had to be over 4 months). My summer vacation spot that I normally love did not provide the usual release, in fact it made me feel worse that I wasn't enjoying it, since thats pretty much what I go to school all year looking forward to. I was going through a relationship crisis, an identity crisis, and a self-esteem crisis all at once, (they were making each other worse) and none of them were going to relent any time soon. I just finished 3 hellish years of middle school, I didn't have any real freinds to talk to (well maybe 1, but he was not good with such things), and I felt my parents would just send me to a shrink. One night i went out in the garage, started the car, closed the garage door, and fell asleep in the car. A fully spirited but ignorant attempt at CO poisoning. (this was after doing no previous research whatsoever, just based on random hearsay from somewhere) When I woke up about 4 hours later (no effects at all) i was both dissapointed and relieved. At the time I didnt know if I was relieved that i did not kill myself or that my mom didnt find out, but my concious mind definatley wanted to be dead. Fortunatley for me, I had no firearms in the house and wasnt willing to ingest bleach, light myself on fire, or jump out of my (2nd story) window, or do anything i knew to be both painful and unreliable. That was near the end of summer. However, upon starting my new high school (which had none of the asshats from my old middle school, its kind of of a private school out of my district), things got MUCH better. I was in my element. (This is the same school that my math teacher is trying to kick me out of, why i'm so determined to beat him at his own game)
And on a final note:
If anyone flames MatthewPapa, I will personally Defenestratize them.
(only because hes hosting my mod! :nervous:)
j/k j/k ;)
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:wakka:
Thats... just great. :lol:
Excellent. :drevil:
First rule of combatting depression: get the depressed to stop thinking about himself. Second rule: get him laughing again. :D
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Exactly. :)
Now all I have to do is wait. No input from me can change anything right now, thats a huge relief. I can laugh, I can relax, I can do whatever for a couple days at least.
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I think of suicide as the ultimate way to run from your problems. I won't pretend to understand your troubles; I've never had it so bad that I contemplated suicide, but I have had some rough times. My dad (and many others) have said that time heals all wounds. It's old hat and cliché but it's true. Even if your situation turns out for the worst, you'll hurt less the day after, and even less the week after, and years from now you'll still hurt, but not nearly as much. "If you're going through hell, keep going."
Glad to hear you're not running away. :yes:
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I'm sorry... please don't call my friends cowards
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Phew...glad to hear things are better. Life is a bit rough...going through my own rough patches myself...but I'm told that things get better. You've got a fair number of years before things even start making any sense whatsoever. I remember me at 15...things become in some ways much clearer by 20-21. If you're worried about marks and studying and that sort of thing and if you've got the ability to pull it together...let me just say that absolutely you do and that things will get clearer as you get out of being a teenage. I was honestly a very different person...I think there were some missing links inside of my brain that somehow came together at about 19...suddenly a much sharper person and far more focused and able to find my way through life.
Not to say that the bumpy parts won't be there...for you they will be different than for others but we've all "been there" one way or another. Hang tight man.
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I'm sorry... please don't call my friends cowards
Sorry, I meant no offense. I'll edit my post.
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I think for a guaranteed painless death you'd need one of those super tranquilizers from Jurassic Park 2, the ones that Eddie Carr says "An antidote, like if you shoot yourself in the foot? Don't do that. You'd be dead before you even knew you had an accident." Probably fictional, and even if it's real, prolly not easy to get a hold of, of course. :p
Seriously though, I've had hard times myself, and I'll admit I have considered suicide before. But then, I force myself to consider all the people (or even just one person, like my mom or sister) around me that I would wound so very deeply if I were to end my own life. I'm very glad to hear you're not considering such a selfish course of action anymore.
I know it's mega-cheesy-lame, especially since we're only fellow forumites, but I think as the community we are, we can be there for each other even in tough times. We're here for you man, just hang in there, things'll work out. :nod:
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I've heard drinking bleach isn't a very good suicide method, I talked to a girl who drank about a galon of it and all she got was minor heart burn.
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Just to give some backround, this is not the first time I felt this way. During the summer after 8th grade I was in an intense, prologed depression (had to be over 4 months)...
I've made it something of a personal mission to try to make Jr High more survivable for people, I just don't know how to do it yet. It was my own period of depression, 3 years of it. Somehow, I survived.
Now, a couple of favorite verses of mine in times of anxiety and depression. Regardless of what you believe about God, go ahead and give this a try: Philippians 4:6-7 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." <-- Something I've experienced firsthand.
also 1 Peter 5:7 "Cast all of your anxiety on Him because He cares for you."
A small FYI: I wasn't Christian till Freshman year.
Prayin for you man.
P.S. Do you go to a private school or something? AFAIK in the US, they can't kick you out of school except via expulsion order, which is usually for disciplinary action. Again, AFAIK, the worst they could do is after 4 years of HS, send you to "Adult School" where you can choose to stay to complete credit requirements for your GED or something. I'm not expert but that's how I understand it.
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The thing about 15/16 is, you're only one or two years from the best decades of you life. Granted, after you get to about 40 it's all downhill from there into the land of golf clubs and cardigans, but it's usually worth hanging about anyways :)
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The thing about 15/16 is, you're only one or two years from the best decades of you life. Granted, after you get to about 40 it's all downhill from there into the land of golf clubs and cardigans, but it's usually worth hanging about anyways :)
Not true, they say life begins at 40!
At least I hope so......I've only six years to wait to find out!!!! :lol:
Good luck Kappwing, hope you feel better soon, my wife and I will be thinking of you!
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P.S. Do you go to a private school or something? AFAIK in the US, they can't kick you out of school except via expulsion order, which is usually for disciplinary action. Again, AFAIK, the worst they could do is after 4 years of HS, send you to "Adult School" where you can choose to stay to complete credit requirements for your GED or something. I'm not expert but that's how I understand it.
Its a very odd circumstance for me. I technically go to a public school, but its run much like a private school.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/International_Academy
Somehow it must bypass this law, considering you still can go to school, just not that one.. The thing is, if you get a D+ or below in any class for a semester grade, you cannot come back next year. Instead you are sent back to your "home district" high school (HS for normal people). And my home district high school... well lets just say there have been 5 attempted fires this year alone, and people have actually defecated in the hallways, due to the conditions. Its horribly overcrowded (4 kids to a locker) and has all of my worst enemies from middle school. A real scum pit IMO. This is because two overly populated high schools to begin with were merged into a one of them, without any infrastructure change. My mom says she would sooner move out of the area then send me there, and I dont want to be responsible for us having to move just because some math teacher got the best of me.
Thanks again for the support, all. :)
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P.S. Do you go to a private school or something? AFAIK in the US, they can't kick you out of school except via expulsion order, which is usually for disciplinary action. Again, AFAIK, the worst they could do is after 4 years of HS, send you to "Adult School" where you can choose to stay to complete credit requirements for your GED or something. I'm not expert but that's how I understand it.
Its a very odd circumstance for me. I technically go to a public school, but its run much like a private school.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/International_Academy
Somehow it must bypass this law, considering you still can go to school, just not that one.. The thing is, if you get a D+ or below in any class for a semester grade, you cannot come back next year. Instead you are sent back to your "home district" high school (HS for normal people). And my home district high school... well lets just say there have been 5 attempted fires this year alone, and people have actually defecated in the hallways, due to the conditions. Its horribly overcrowded (4 kids to a locker) and has all of my worst enemies from middle school. A real scum pit IMO. This is because two overly populated high schools to begin with were merged into a one of them, without any infrastructure change. My mom says she would sooner move out of the area then send me there, and I dont want to be responsible for us having to move just because some math teacher got the best of me.
Thanks again for the support, all. :)
Look on the bright side - your mum obviously cares a massive amount for your education; a lot of people aren't lucky enough to have parents willing or able to make that sort of sacrifices :)
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I know, but I dont want her to be forced to make that sacrifice. that would make me feel terrible. :blah:
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The thing about 15/16 is, you're only one or two years from the best decades of you life. Granted, after you get to about 40 it's all downhill from there into the land of golf clubs and cardigans, but it's usually worth hanging about anyways :)
/me hides his Golf Clubs....
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15 and you're allready on that train of thought?! :eek2:
I had suicidal thoughts when I was 11. It was because I was getting an average of around 30% on my exams.
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/me hides his Golf Clubs....
/me does the same..
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i always have suicidal thought, after which i go shoot 2 hours of pool :D
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You'd be surprised at the numbers of kids 18 and under that have cut themselves, attempted to overdose, or otherwise physically harmed themselves - in the good old U.S.A.
Why is it that most suicides are in the most developed, free and "culturally advanced" countries? :rolleyes:
Do they put someting in the water?
Professional help...pff. No matter how f**** up you case may be there are hundered, nay thousands in the world who are far worse off and they havn't kileld themselves.
If they can do it without going to a shrik, then you/me/he/she/it can too.
Personally, I belive that shrinks cna't help you much and they are as much in the dark about what realyl goes on in your head as everybody else. Humans are just too complex...
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Dam I got four years..i got it sell the bistro. buy an expensive car..Get a mail order russian bride and move to New Zealand but first
/me hides his Golf Clubs....
/me does the same..
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And my home district high school... well lets just say there have been 5 attempted fires this year alone, and people have actually defecated in the hallways, due to the conditions. Its horribly overcrowded (4 kids to a locker) and has all of my worst enemies from middle school. A real scum pit IMO.
That reminds me of my days in school. I moved here from the US with my family when I was in 5th grade. At the time, I was an utterly nerdy wuss, white (as opposed to the darker complexion that is more common here), didn't speak Hebrew, and everyone assumed we were snobby rich Americans (we weren't). Those years were hellish. The kids actually nicknamed me "F*ckel" (my real name is Michael). Totally horrid.
That lasted - with varying degrees, depending on when any given antagonist would grow up and mature beyond the antagonist phase - through the end of high-school. Sometime between 19-21 (incidentally, when I was in the army), things changed. Perhaps it had to do with my passing 6'3" and 220lbs. Perhaps it had to do with the fact that in the army, you have to get along with others. Or perhaps it was just me, growing older. Either way, by the time I finished the army, I was far more confident in myself and my position in this world - and I even managed to befriend a few of those same antagonists from high-school who were recruited into my unit a few months after I was. ;)
Anyway, all this to say that for me, school has been my absolute least favorite period in life. I didn't put any effort into school because I hated every moment of being there, but looking back, I wish I had invested more effort into my studies than I did my Star Trek books (didn't say that they were wrong in considering me a big nerd... :p). Anyway, what's done is done, and that part of my life is behind me.
Thank God. :)
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Why is it that most suicides are in the most developed, free and "culturally advanced" countries? :rolleyes:
When you dont have much in the first place, not many things can go wrong I suppose. :nervous:
Do they put someting in the water?
Professional help...pff. No matter how f**** up you case may be there are hundered, nay thousands in the world who are far worse off and they havn't kileld themselves.
If they can do it without going to a shrik, then you/me/he/she/it can too.
Personally, I belive that shrinks cna't help you much and they are as much in the dark about what realyl goes on in your head as everybody else. Humans are just too complex...
I half agree with you. The study of psychology is, as i recently learned from someone who is going into the field, not as wishy-washy as many people think about it as. However, I believe its still true that no-one can get a better look in your head than yourself (unless you have some mental problem, in which case youd need a shrink. :) )
I personally would never want to see a shrink for suicide related stuff. Thats just too... I dont know how to describe it.
I would see one for other things, like irrational fears, insomnia, and stuff like that.
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Kappa... Look no one is stable..Those you pass judgement well {monty python comrs to mind]..So don't judge yourself. There is no quick way.. there is no "Who you know" for the "Self" it What you Do.. that matters ..[ interupted i'll be back].. hell I'm a witch[Pagan] and a sci fi nerd.who was something and now i'm something again[how Zen of me]...at 15 don't discount life or the nature of others. cause "If you can't laugh at others Who can you Laugh at" keep it lite peace... Tamlin's housemate
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The thing about 15/16 is, you're only one or two years from the best decades of you life. Granted, after you get to about 40 it's all downhill from there into the land of golf clubs and cardigans, but it's usually worth hanging about anyways :)
Bah...quarter life crisis is a *****. But 19-22 and hopefully sometime after 25 is good :)
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Why is it that most suicides are in the most developed, free and "culturally advanced" countries?
Because money can't buy happiness?
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Why is it that most suicides are in the most developed, free and "culturally advanced" countries?
Because money can't buy happiness?
People in the more free countries have the ability to have their own opinions about what the rest of the world is like, how they can better themselves, and how everyone around them has done the exact same.
In the less-than-free countries, the government says "you have it good compared to everyone else." Basically just blowing sunshine into their citizenry's tootieholes.
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... IDK, maybe they are just too busy trying to survive and keep those they care about alive to have time to consider it... ?
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Why is it that most suicides are in the most developed, free and "culturally advanced" countries?
Because money can't buy happiness?
People in the more free countries have the ability to have their own opinions about what the rest of the world is like, how they can better themselves, and how everyone around them has done the exact same.
In the less-than-free countries, the government says "you have it good compared to everyone else." Basically just blowing sunshine into their citizenry's tootieholes.
Nah. 1st world nations have reached a state where simple survival is no longer the primary concern of people; with that comfort comes the ponderance of the non-survival parts of life and the setting of more abstract goals like 'happiness' or material gain. Unattainable targets or expectations; and hence increased room for dissatisfaction. It's no longer enough to be alive.
That said, it's not necessarily so clear cut; http://www.who.int/mental_health/prevention/suicide/suicideprevent/en/ (China & Russia with higher rates than US & UK, for example)
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You'd be surprised at the numbers of kids 18 and under that have cut themselves, attempted to overdose, or otherwise physically harmed themselves - in the good old U.S.A.
Why is it that most suicides are in the most developed, free and "culturally advanced" countries? :rolleyes:
*snip*
Do you have any proof of this?
Your average person from a developing country is just as much of a psychological basket case as one from the developed world.
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There's not AFAIK any real reporting of suicide rates in 3rd world countries anyways.
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No
its back down, much worse than before no hope this time
no hope at all
do not try to contact me
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No
its back down, much worse than before no hope this time
no hope at all
do not try to contact me
There's always hope; never give up. We all have **** in our lives, we all face fights and no-ones going to doubt how hard it is for you right now; but there's no sense giving up, and there are people here that care about you and your wellbeing - so there's no way in hell that no-one will try to contact you.
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Do NOT do what you plan to. Suicide is not the answer; you know better than that... I am sure that you were raised better than that.
You are informed; in front of God, you can no longer use what you were taught or ignorance. Suicide is wrong; it disrupts God's plan.
I know that as of this hour, you are still alive. Do NOT do what you want.
My original ending still stands; Good luck and Godspeed.
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**** God; the most important thing to remember is that there is no such thing as an insurmountable obstacle, especially not when you have the best parts of your life ahead of you.
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Do you think he might be just mesing with us?
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Do you think he might be just mesing with us?
No, and it's not a question worth asking.
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Do you think he might be just mesing with us?
No, and it's not a question worth asking.
Seconded that answer.
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Awww ****, this is bad. :sigh:
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Stop wringing your hands, and start acting.
Here's what I've been able to find out in the past few minutes. Hopefully someone in the area or having l33t haxx0ring skills can take it from here.
His IP address is 75.118.92.70 and his hostname is d118-75-70-92.nap.wideopenwest.com. His ISP, accordingly, is WideOpenWest. A whois lookup resolves the location to somewhere in Michigan, which his user profile confirms.
Here are the IP lookups I used:
http://ws.arin.net/cgi-bin/whois.pl?queryinput=75.118.92.70
http://ws.arin.net/cgi-bin/whois.pl?queryinput=!%20NET-75-118-88-0-1
According to his profile, he has a MySpace page here:
http://www.myspace.com/kappawing
It's set to private, unfortunately, so I can't see it. Has anyone "friended" KappaWing on MySpace? Perhaps he posted more information there. His user profile shows today as the most recent login date.
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I agree i'm not suicidal. Circumstances have forced me into that "domain" though. Something has definatley snapped.
No
its back down, much worse than before no hope this time
no hope at all
do not try to contact me
No hope at all? You hit the bottom, absolute worst possible situation?
LIVING IS AWESOME!!!!!LIVING IS AWESOME!!!!!LIVING IS AWESOME!!!!!LIVING IS AWESOME!!!!!LIVING IS AWESOME!!!!!LIVING IS AWESOME!!!!!LIVING IS AWESOME!!!!!LIVING IS AWESOME!!!!!LIVING IS AWESOME!!!!!LIVING IS AWESOME!!!!!LIVING IS AWESOME!!!!!LIVING IS AWESOME!!!!!LIVING IS AWESOME!!!!!LIVING IS AWESOME!!!!!LIVING IS AWESOME!!!!!LIVING IS AWESOME!!!!!LIVING IS AWESOME!!!!!LIVING IS AWESOME!!!!!LIVING IS AWESOME!!!!!LIVING IS AWESOME!!!!!LIVING IS AWESOME!!!!!LIVING IS AWESOME!!!!!LIVING IS AWESOME!!!!!
Once you hit the bottom, you can only go up...
LIVING IS AWESOME!!!!!LIVING IS AWESOME!!!!!LIVING IS AWESOME!!!!!LIVING IS AWESOME!!!!!LIVING IS AWESOME!!!!!LIVING IS AWESOME!!!!!LIVING IS AWESOME!!!!!LIVING IS AWESOME!!!!!LIVING IS AWESOME!!!!!LIVING IS AWESOME!!!!!LIVING IS AWESOME!!!!!LIVING IS AWESOME!!!!!LIVING IS AWESOME!!!!!LIVING IS AWESOME!!!!!LIVING IS AWESOME!!!!!LIVING IS AWESOME!!!!!LIVING IS AWESOME!!!!!LIVING IS AWESOME!!!!!LIVING IS AWESOME!!!!!LIVING IS AWESOME!!!!!LIVING IS AWESOME!!!!!LIVING IS AWESOME!!!!!LIVING IS AWESOME!!!!!
You know what you should do? Start playing an instrument. Play the Saxophone, or something. Anything you can get your hands on. Get it, and learn to play it. Get really good. I play an instrument. I play alto and baritone sax. When you learn how to play, join a band. If not one o' them guitar bands, then an orchestra or symphony band, or a Marching Band. I suggest the latter, because you make great friends in it, plus it sucks up all your free time, so you never get bored! :nod:
EDIT: Death is like drugs and alcohol. It supposedly takes away all your problems, BUT IT DOESN'T!!! WHOA!!! Death just kills you faster, thats all. They are still both stupid things. thems = bad. We on HLP are all too good for bad stuff. We're better than everyone else. 1 HLPer (awesome people; you) = 86 not HLPer (stupid people who aren't you)
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Do you think he might be just mesing with us?
No.
Kappa, come on man, trust me - it ain't worth it. I can't really explain it on a forum, I'd have to talk to you live, but trust me - death is useless as a fix to your problems. It doesn't fix them, it just removes you from them. Everyone else still has to live with your loss - and if you care so much about your mom sacrificing something, do you really think that having her son kill himself would make it better for her? Would it be any less of a sacrifice?
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I just telephoned tech support for his ISP and they apparently don't have the capability to provide specific information.
Is there anyone here from Michigan or with access to view his MySpace page?
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I just telephoned tech support for his ISP and they apparently don't have the capability to provide specific information.
Is there anyone here from Michigan or with access to view his MySpace page?
I'm from michigan. But I don't have acsess to his myspace (it says he last logged in on the 23rd though). So he lives in Troy? Thats not too far from here. Maybe 40 miles or so.
EDIT: Gaa dangit I hate myspace. trying to ressurect my ol' account back from saying "your mother" on everything
Myspace sucks ass.
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On the slim, slight, and always victorious as fate would have it hope that Kappa is still around and is reading this, I'd like to offer the simple advice I was offered in the same situation: Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. All good things come to an end, but so do bad things.
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Bah. I just telephoned the police department in Troy, Michigan, but they unfortunately can't do much else either.
Well, I've done all I can; it's in God's hands now. Everybody start praying. :)
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KappaWing, if you are at all able or willing to read this post:
It sounds like you have really hit 'rock bottom.' Several people have already posted the 'obvious' retort to this: that you can only go up from here. But it may not seem so obvious to you.
You see, I've been in your position before. I am not saying that qualifies me to judge you. Rather, I'm letting you know a few things that may help you out. From your posts in this thread, it seems like for a time things were looking good for you, but now you feel worse than ever. I understand that some things are too private or painful for you to say -even under a screen name - but you are bottling up your pain inside of you. And that makes your suffering even worse. Eventually, KappaWing, you might reach a point where you feel that you're a burden to your friends and family - and that by killing yourself, you are doing a service to society. It's tempting to believe that, but it's wrong. No matter how much your parents or buddies hate you - if at all they do - taking your own life will tear apart their entire social universe. It's not worth it, man. Believe me.
You say that you want no one to contact you - but you need some one to tell your story to. It helps a lot when you talk to people who have gone or are going through the same things you are, and it gives you reassurance in humanity (yes, humans are capable of good too) and in the value of your own life. I was on the verge of doing what you were about to do - and a few good souls pulled me back.
And if you are convinced that this is your best option, I can only say that I'm sorry. You have to at least believe that your situation is under your control. Faith - not just in religion - is one of the great binders of humanity. Even if you do not believe in God, believe in yourself and your power to rectify your situation. And if you do believe in God, please pray for strength and guidance from Him. Good luck, and please make the decision you think is right.
Feel free to PM me. It's not over until you say so.
-fsi.scsi
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well if he was considering not killing himself before the clichéd responses probably would have pushed him over it,
"permanent solution to a temporary problem"
"Once you hit the bottom, you can only go up"
and all the "God" responses.
I mean what sort of canned anti-suicide crap is that, it's like it came off of a hallmark card or something. he reads that and he's going to think the same thing, that it's just a canned response and no one is really thinking about the situation. Goob is the only person who seems to be doing anything outside of stereotypical response to a hypothetical suicide.
now if your going to be stupid enough to off yourself, you know what I'll be honest, I'm not going to realy be too upset about it, I'll be a little pissed due to the general stupidity, of the situation, but thats about it. but right now I've got to say this particular situation is especaly stupid "hey what's the best way to kill yourself large group of people who will probly try to stop me" "ok nevermind" "oop, I'm gona do it now!"
so no hope? no hope for what exactly, I have no hope in my life, I have no freinds, I'm 24 spent 6 years to get an assosiates degree, there are people my age I know who are getting a doctorate, I've never had a girlfreind, I'm all alone all the ****ing time with no love from anyone or anything every person I meet seems to have something out for me and I can never seem to do anything right, my life is a dark pit of emptiness, it wouldn't matter at all if I died tomarow, infact I don't care if I do as I don't seem to be liveing now anyway. what the hell is even the matter with you!? what is it, you come on here and in the most stereotypical cry for help way make it stupidly obvius that you are contemplating suicide you say there are all these problems in your life but you refuse to go into detail.
besides do you know how much a funeral costs these days? someone's going to get stuck with that. and the guilt of you killing yourself, you'd cause much fewer problems for everyone if you just slept for a few days like I do. that's a supriseingly effective method of running away from your problems that doesn't **** everyone else over.
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So he lives in Troy? Thats not too far from here. Maybe 40 miles or so.
His MySpace says Royal Oaks, not Troy... not all that far apart, but still.
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still here, dont go phoning stuff it will only make everything harder on me.
I really dont care who knows what my situation is anymore. kara can tell you all, i dont care. you may think its pathetic or whatever but i really dont give a ****.
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if you don't want people calling the cops, don't post that your about to kill yourself.
ok, then tell us what the hell is going on then?
I just double checked through this whole thread, 5 pages, you have yet to even tell us specifically why you are contemplating suicide, just that it's getting better...it's getting worse... now better... now worse
you have told us plenty of other unrelated stories however.
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My unrelated stories will not destroy my dignity. if you know what i'm contemplating this over you will think I am very weak or insane or something like that, but you wouldent understand. Bascially it gets better with every false promise someone makes to me and gets worse everytime i find out its false. Karajorma can tell you pretty much whats going on if its thats important for some reason, but thats really off the topic of this thread. I just need the most quickest and painless way out in case things DO get worse for me. I dont know if they will anymore but i cannot correctly forsee anything. google and wiki cant help me, so i'm asking the smartest people i know, you in this forum, to give objective advice.
And how will calling the godamn cops make things any better for anyone?
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You can talk to me, please.
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how will killing yourself?
seriously if you kill yourself before telling me what this is all about, I will hire a necromancer, bring you back to life, and then beat you to death again.
actually serious now, if you kill yourself all you will be doing is making someone else's life harder.
did you get some girl pregnant or something?
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no hope for what exactly, I have no hope in my life, I have no freinds, I'm 24 spent 6 years to get an assosiates degree, there are people my age I know who are getting a doctorate, I've never had a girlfreind, I'm all alone all the ****ing time with no love from anyone or anything every person I meet seems to have something out for me and I can never seem to do anything right, my life is a dark pit of emptiness
I notice some similarities between the two of us..a lot of them actually...(altough I got friends and loving family and I manage to do something right every once and awhile...aside from that it's very, very similar)
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so i'm asking the smartest people i know, you in this forum, to give objective advice.
Two things here mate.
1: We tried calling people to help you out because here we are - sat at our respective computers - with no way of contacting you directly and wondering if you've done something that none of us want to happen.
2: If you want objective advice - or any advice at all - then you need to tell us the facts. Saying something bad is going on in your life is a great way to get sympathy, and we're full of that believe me, but it's impossible to give you proper support here unless we know a bit more about this.
And on a closing note, don't go worrying about your dignity around here. We're a bunch of people on the internet and while there may be flame wars or people saying stupid things - nobody is ever going to judge your choices in life around here. It's not our place. So say what's wrong, no matter how stupid or insane you think it is, and we'll take it from there.
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My unrelated stories will not destroy my dignity. if you know what i'm contemplating this over you will think I am very weak or insane or something like that, but you wouldent understand. Bascially it gets better with every false promise someone makes to me and gets worse everytime i find out its false. Karajorma can tell you pretty much whats going on if its thats important for some reason, but thats really off the topic of this thread. I just need the most quickest and painless way out in case things DO get worse for me. I dont know if they will anymore but i cannot correctly forsee anything. google and wiki cant help me, so i'm asking the smartest people i know, you in this forum, to give objective advice.
And how will calling the godamn cops make things any better for anyone?
Because the last thing anyone wants to see is you getting hurt. People here - and in your life outside this forum - care for you, your health and your wellbeing. The thng is not to think of escaping if it gets worse, etc, because all you do is put yourself in a frame of mind where things will get worse. You're not alone in this, you know - most people can understand, if not exactly, the situation you're in and how you feel. No-one thinks you are weak or insane, but we do think you'd be making a huge mistake to kill yourself.
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The thng is not to think of escaping if it gets worse, etc, because all you do is put yourself in a frame of mind where things will get worse.
Yeah, i been just starting to realize that. The problem is i hate distracting myself when I have a problem. I cant bring myself to do it. Instead i obsess over the problem, looking for any loophole possible to fix it. When the problem gets worse, I look for other ways out. When i'm depressed, i'm only happy when i'm working toward fixing the problem.
The situation backround is not important. I need information from someone. That someone is hell bent on ignoring me. I dont want to force this person though. I cant see a way out?
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...do I understand correctly that the person withholding this information is the reason for your troubles?
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The thng is not to think of escaping if it gets worse, etc, because all you do is put yourself in a frame of mind where things will get worse.
Yeah, i been just starting to realize that. The problem is i hate distracting myself when I have a problem. I cant bring myself to do it. Instead i obsess over the problem, looking for any loophole possible to fix it. When the problem gets worse, I look for other ways out. When i'm depressed, i'm only happy when i'm working toward fixing the problem.
The situation backround is not important. I need information from someone. That someone is hell bent on ignoring me. I dont want to force this person though. I cant see a way out?
Are they deliberately ignoring you? Do you know why?
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:wtf: what sort of information could the lack of, bring you to this!?
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Kappa's kind of like me. If I have a problem I act kind of retarded and try not to do anything to make me feel better since I feel as if what I'm doing is being eclipsed by my problem...
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Yeah, i been just starting to realize that. The problem is i hate distracting myself when I have a problem. I cant bring myself to do it. Instead i obsess over the problem, looking for any loophole possible to fix it. When the problem gets worse, I look for other ways out. When i'm depressed, i'm only happy when i'm working toward fixing the problem.
The situation backround is not important. I need information from someone. That someone is hell bent on ignoring me. I dont want to force this person though. I cant see a way out?
So this person is just being a dick? Wait a while and see if they stop being such a dick. If they still don't tell you, you might have to force them (If the information you want really is all that important).
I'd like to provide a better solution, but I need more information. But you already told much more capable people, and everything past what you've already said is really personal matters, so I won't invade. :nod:
Good luck!
:) :) :) :) :) :) (this thread needs more smilies) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)
:p ok I'll stop
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And how will calling the godamn cops make things any better for anyone?
Because suicide is illegal in certain states? :nervous:
Seriously, KappaWing, I'm glad to hear that you're still all right. Just keep it that way. :) You have God-given dignity and worth that nobody can take away -- not your enemies, not your circumstances, and not even yourself.
Do you have any contact information, or anything we can do to check up on you to make sure you're still doing okay?
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I should be fine until wednesday evening. Then, another moment of miracle or disaster. I'm getting so sick of this :sigh:
Contact information, you got my email, AIM, MSN, googletalk, myspace. Just not the cops!Kappa's kind of like me. If I have a problem I act kind of retarded and try not to do anything to make me feel better since I feel as if what I'm doing is being eclipsed by my problem...
Yes, that the problem is so important you feel like youre letting it go if you distract yourself.
And i appreciate the smilies, sizzler.
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Contact information, you got my email, AIM, MSN, googletalk, myspace. Just not the cops!
The problem is if you go through another down time and post something like you did earlier, you're gonna leave everyone here worried sick. And to ask that you leave something in your will to have someone contact us if you do what we're all afraid of you doing is just too morbid, not to mention somewhat bizarre.
Read the last few posts on my blog (http://www.brainzipper.com/). My brigade commander comitted suicide recently, with no note, no indications of anything being wrong - nothing. I realize that I'm in no position to say this, but I'll say it anyway - don't you dare leave those who care about you in the dark like my commander did.
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And everyone who knew him says that it simply cannot be a suicide, that Eyal had too much going for him, and no issues that would drive a man to take his own life.
He was found shot in his Jeep. How do you know this was suicide?
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His radio and cellphones were turned off, his jeep was parked neatly on the side of the road, he had gone out without his driver and had switched to the passenger's seat. But most of all, his M-16 was between his legs, barrel in his mouth, and his finger still in the trigger.
Granted, it could be that there's some pretty nasty foul-play involved, a big setup or whatever, but it's unlikely as hell.
Disclaimer: all the above is the information as we were told at the time, and in the days afterwards. I have no idea what may have changed - if anything did - since then, with the undoubtably thurough investigation that is being performed.
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We worry about you. I am very happy that you would actually talk to me; it shows me that you are still strong. The only way you could truly give up your dignity is let the world forget about you... and no I don't mean kill yourself. You are in a hole right now, but your head is not below ground. You have enough left in you to question if what you're doing is good; you're not quite 8 feet under yet, and this forum, at a minimum, hope you do not end up 8 feet under until you're old and wrinkled.
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Kappa, you and I are actually quite a bit alike. We both feel that we have to be working on a problem 24/7 or else we will never solve it. Eventually, I realized that by distracting my mind with a hobby while I had a problem freed me to examine it from other angles I hadn't considered before. In reality, by taking a "break" from your problem, you're actually still working on it.
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...That's true, especially considering sleep... I read somewheres that when you decide to go to sleep when you're working on a problem, your mind subconsciously works on it while you sleep, and when you wake up of course you are rested and can consciously think about it even better. Versus, if you don't sleep, you are stuck in the same rut, don't get anywhere, and just get frustrated... although, I admit, going to sleep while working on a problem is hard... sometimes you have to distract yourself away from the problem to sleep, and then hopefully (it probably will) your mind will return to the problem whilst you sleep... if you're lucky, you'll wake up with a brainwave that solves the problem.
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When I have an awful day (and I do have them fairly often lately it seems), and it feels like I can't do anything to escape, I just sleep for as long as it takes for me to wake up rested and feeling like I can then do something about whatever it is that was plaguing me.
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It sounds daft, but happy music works for me quite well.
Of course, I'm generally quite a jovial chap at the moment :)
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When I have a bad day, I just play video games until the day is over :drevil:
Works perfectly.
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I think this is something a little more that a bad day.
Also is right though, sometimes happy music does the trick. It can also help you think through things.
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Yes, this is more like a bad month with no real end in sight.
I've been listening to Samael's album "Reign of Light" which has boosted me through some tough spots before but it seems to be doing the trick here, keeping me motivated on a day-to-day basis.
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You'll be okay Kappa... just as long as you don't throw it all away, just do one thing for me... give it some more time... this will clear up, eventually... probably pretty soon.
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Yes, this is more like a bad month with no real end in sight.
I've been listening to Samael's album "Reign of Light" which has boosted me through some tough spots before but it seems to be doing the trick here, keeping me motivated on a day-to-day basis.
Its all about the small victories. My new Casino Royale soundtrack has been a source of entertainment for me...its been a rough month and I see no end in sight either but eventually something will come together. I know some people who have been struggling for a while and things are starting to work out. One guy seems to have had his whole life turn around and seemingly work itself out in a month or two. Some day it'll be our turn to have things work out. I'm not sure if they just do or if I have to do something special...that's my current dilemma.
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Ive known too many people that have nearly gone suicidal. The only reason they didn't go suicidal is that they thought making fun of me is more entertaining. If you feel the need to do so, you may flame me to your heart's content.
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Well, in my case, those small momentous things would have helped delay the process, but ultimately the outcome would have probably been the same, if not for the actions of a certain group of individuals.
But Kappa, you're in a different situation, I understand that. However, look at it this way. Yes, you may (or may not? IDK the situation besides what you're posted here) fail this class that gets you booted from the school. I doubt that, there's gotta be some makeup thing, but we're going with worst case scenario here, so, ok, you get booted. Your mom (and you) says you're not going to the local public school because it's so bad. As far as drug problemss go, EVERY HIGH SCHOOL HAS THEM. I'm in a school of about 150 kids, and I'm constantly astonished by what people in my own class talk about like they're commonplace. That's beside the point, though.
Anyway, if your mom was being honest in saying they'd move before you go to that one school, what about the next one down in the district, or the next district? Don't move, just go there. If none of those wor, and you do in fact move, you say you can't live with the guilt of your own problems causing your family's life to be so transplanted, turned upside down on your behalf. Man, I gotta be honest with you... This has gotta be the stupidest point of view I've ever heard. For one, it would be your parents' choice ultimately, not yours, so you can't blame yourself for making them do anything. In addition, your parents' chief, number 1, ultimate priority is to give you the best of everything they possibly can. They want you to be as best prepared as possible for the rest of your life. How can they do that if you kill yourself?
Also, consider this. Which would be worse for your parents? Moving away on your behalf because they want to (they want what's best for you) or you killing yourself? I'm not a parent myself, but I do know that the worst thing a parent can possibly go through, would be to bury their child. Almost all parents, regardless of how great or crappy of parents they are, if they're given the choice of living miserably on the streets, suffering some horrible disease for the rest of their lives, or giving up a child, they'd choose the former in a heartbeat. This is bred into the instincts of every semi sentient species on the planet. You'd be doing infinitely more damage to your parents if you were to kill yourself than you would if they were to move for you, let me tell you. So quit making reasons why it won't work or why this is the best option and LIVE YOUR LIFE. You're not even an adult yet! These problems won't last forever!
And besides, even if you drop out of highschool, you'll do ok at life.
I hope that gives you a little bit of a different perspective on things.
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Yes, this is more like a bad month with no real end in sight.
I've been listening to Samael's album "Reign of Light" which has boosted me through some tough spots before but it seems to be doing the trick here, keeping me motivated on a day-to-day basis.
So what exactly was going on with you there? I think you owe us a bit of an explaination after you had all of us worried sick about you......
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Hmph... if you want, Kappa, I can copy some of your talk with me to here for them... whatever you want, let me know.
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Since I got all of you worried, I should say that things are back to normal now, by some sort of miracle. I want to thank you all for your support! :):yes:
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Great to hear, bro. :nod:
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Since I got all of you worried, I should say that things are back to normal now, by some sort of miracle. I want to thank you all for your support! :):yes:
Good to hear :)
(beaten by Sarnie!!! :o! :D)
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That's great to hear. Life can never keep you down for too long. :yes:
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Hrmm, I caught this thread rather late.
Kappa:
Having been through a couple bouts of moderate depression myself, and also having been a teenager and then escaping that hellish period of my life, I can certainly sympathize with whatever was going on with you.
The biggest bit of advice you need is this: understand your depression.
From what I'm reading here (and a degree in Psych definitely DOESN'T make me an expert), you may be diagnosable with an adolescent form of clinical depression. And while people like to downplay psychologists (in many cases rightly so), they can play an important role in therapy for depression.
That's because the best treatment for depression is social support. Which is why it's so great you posted here.
Also realize that depression is often biological. Even with a social trigger, your mood might be the result of chemistry of the brain due to the fact that you're still growing up. In which case medications can definitely help if prescribed correctly.
So while you may not think a therapist can be helpful, you might find they can. I know what it feels like to be depressed. I know what anxiety feels like too (and panic attacks, oh panic attacks). I'm simply suggesting that perhaps you should consider going to see a psychologist just to talk about things. Understand what's going on in your head. By no means does that mean you're crazy or that you have to spend your life in therapy. Really, everyone needs a little help from time to time, and professional help is no more valuable than friends except in allowing insight into the medical/mental aspects of the situation.
Something you should also know is that clinical depression, if left untreated, has a very high relapse/recurrence rate - which is why learning more about your thoughts are a great idea.
Just some food for thought.
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(beaten by Sarnie!!! :o! :D)
Well... doesn't that just eat at you inside? :p :D
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In Soviet Israel, Sandwich eats you!
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Good thing we ain't Soviet then. :D
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Very good to hear, KappaWing. :D