[neo_hermes]

...Captain kirk began to make gestures as he talked, " what the hell is going on spock. and Where is Bones?"...

[2FB]

"Dr. Makoy is on the enfermery sir" say Spock...

[diamondgeezer]

Kirk punched the button for the comm and called up the infirmary, only to hear McCoy drunkenly singing dirty limericks about Bosch. Kirk decided to abandon ship and went to the shuttle bay where the A-Team's van was ready to launch...

[Stunaep]

into the vagina of Queen Latifah. What they were supposed to do there, was another matter entirely, as...

[diamondgeezer]

They were completely occupied with punching Stunaep for brining up that vision. Spock had a genius escape plan, though - he told his crew mates "all we have to do is...

[Ace]

...realign the deflector array!"

After starting a cliche that would torment the universe for hundreds of years later, a godlike alien turned the Enterprise into a salt cube.

Aken Bosch found a giant derelict cracker created by the ancients, and fired his beam cannons to break up the salt so it would fall on the cracker.

Then the Shivans arrived...

[Ransom]

...and took one look at the scene before them, and ran screaming back into the night. The cracker...

[Grey Wolf]

Then turned back into the Enterprise, only it was inside out. Seeing this....

[TrashMan]

...Picard puked, but Data said - "lets re-polarize the tachion deflector!". And the Enterpreise was it's old self again - only it had one extra nacelle and a BIG cannon. "WTF?" - asked Picard!?...

[Grey Wolf]

"Am I in the future again?"
Seeing the Enterprise now looking far cooler, Bosch begins planning to take it over. Meanwhile, Mr. T....

[Ransom]

...was launched into the sun by a disgruntled potato. Nobody noticed. Meanwhile, Bosch took out a...

[Sheepy]

small red spud gun, and aimed it at the small wooly sheep that was lurking in the corner un-noticed.

[Carl]

But instead of firing, Bosch stopped, put down the gun, and said: "wait...the enterprise turned into a salt cube, but then the cracker was turned back into the enterprise? but the salt cube was the enterprise, not the cracker! ahhh! plot hole!" Bosch was then sucked into the plot hole.

[Ransom]

...which began to expand exponentially as it sucked in the entire universe. Bosch, now in Plot-Space, watched as countless episodes of badly designed Sci-fi shows whizzed past. And then he bumped into...

[TrashMan]

..the command bridge of the enterpreise. The bridge crew and Picard were astonished for on their viewscreen thy saw Bosch slpaterd like a fly. "Somebody pick him up!" - Yelled Picard, not relising that this was all part of Bosches secret plan to take over the now cooler-looking Enterpreise....

[Falcon]

...they instead used him as a hood ornament which looked...

[TrashMan]

..kind of lame, so they decided to bring him back in. He then yelled: "Hand over the command of your ship Picard - or else I will use THIS!" - and he pulled out....

[Falcon]

...of his mother's home-made caserole which made everybody...

[TrashMan]

...wonder what the hell is that. Bosch relised hismistake. "Ups!---Wrong pocket!" - he said and from his other pocket pulled out a tedy bear.
"What is that supposed to be?" - asked No1
"Why, it's my Terrible Teddy of Total Destruction and Utter Annihilation of Everyone's Soul but Mine - or TToTDaUAoESbM for short!"...

[Ransom]

...an anonymous crew member screamed: "No! Not the Terrible Teddy of Total Destruction and Utter Annihilation of Everyone's Soul but His!" and promptly jumped into an escape pod, which imploded. Bosch raised the TToTDaUAoESbM and...