[Colonol Dekker]

Each must be 40 words or less, and funny......



So carl he shivan was eating a goat one day in the HLP Installation, he heard a noise up ahead.........

[Akalamanaia]

it was the sound of the horrifying HLBB welcome beam roasting a newcomer, but Carl had a plan to stop such madness..

[aldo_14]

Carl had, unforunately, just has 12 bottles of vodka, and his plan consisted of pulling his trousers down, playing with his plasma beam, and square-going a passing meteorite.

[Nuke]

as it turns out that meteorite was the property of mista T himself, he had used it as a store house for his excessive quantities of bling.

[Turambar]

and Mr T pities the fool who plays with his beam cannon when his bling asteroid is nearby...

[Colonol Dekker]

So Mr T soared in the HLPI cavernous docking bay, parked the ATeam class assault shuttle locked and loaded and crawled into the air ducts.....

[Falcon]

and were mauled by hoards of man-eating cobwebs....

[Turambar]

which sent messages back to carl, informing him of T's presence.  however, 12 bottles of vodka don't just wear off, and carl was still trying to make his beam cannon shoot...

[Prophet]

when he accidentally activated his power claw thingamazoo...

[Colonol Dekker]

and sliced his cock beam cannon off. Screaming as only a shivan can Carl fell down an air duct only to land on Mr T who broke out into that cheesy rap from the 70's about loving his mother......

[TrashMan]

..and the tune was so good that both he and Carl decided to swing it...

[Dough with Fish]

...until Chuck Norris roundhoused his way into the room...

[Dark RevenantX]

... But Chuck Norris turned out to be a hologram, making Carl go mad and somehow regrew his... erm... beam cannon.

[Nuke]

the real chuck norris was hiding in the air ducts, opening a bag lunch haning from a rope. little did he know it was one of nukes shivan traps and chuck norris was gatling gunned into hamburger meat. shortly thereafter carl and his newfound friend mista t decided not to let all that good meat go to waste and started a bbq.

[WeatherOp]

...and eating chuck noris caused Carl to grow another beam cannon...

[Turambar]

...and a whole bunch of new ammunition canisters.  the 12 bottles of vodka were starting to wear off, and carl was starting to have some ideas...

[CP5670]

only to find that his new beam wouldn't work because he had not beam-freed it. He decided it must be broken and went to Sathanas #42 to get a warranty replacement, but the customer support Shivans just kept saying "the walkthrough is A-1 SUPAR!!" So he got pissed off at them and he...

[Charismatic]

...got depressed and bought another 12 bottles of vadka when..

[Falcon]

out of the airduct an idea came and knocked him out...

[Ace]

...of his funk. Sadly he was meek and vulnerable when not encased in the chitinous armor of his funk.