[Ace]

Unfortunately Command failed to realise that Alien Overlord Xenu was not George Michael.

[TrashMan]

..and command immediately died of stupidity, when the bodies of those in charge realised that tehy had no brians...

[LordPomposity]

...and they didn't have any brains, either.  So Mecha-Hitler and Mr. T teamed up and gave Command brain transplants from goats, bringing them back to life as brain-dead zombies which were still much more intelligent in death than in life...smart enough, in fact, to...

[Nuke]

spend their entire defence budget on hookers and blowjob machines...

[Dark Hunter]

..which turned out to be a huge problem when the Sathani fleet, who had been recharging their beams after killing the giant barney, suddenly remembered who they had been fighting beforehand....

[Colonol Dekker]

Thats right, The IRS !!!!   For taxing the heck out of the sathanii fleet for overdue space-road tax, the Satanii brought all arms to bear on the fleet of Defecit class detroyers declaoking of their starboard bow.

The lead ship the IRD Rebate commenced firing the main Bill cannon at the fleet, and millions of tax bill forms clogged the guns of the sathanii.......

[Dark Hunter]

... when all of a sudden Spaceball 1 came rocketing by at Ludicrous Speed and wiped out the IRS fleet; around the universe, there was much rejoicing, until...

[TrashMan]

...they realised that Spaceball One's brakes weren't working and it warped around the universe at ludicrus speed, running over things and paintig the universe in the well-known colour scheme....

[Tyrian]

BLUE!  That's right, Command bleeds blue, cause they're all cowards!  If they had a spine, they would have come up with a bolder plan for dealing with the Shivans...One involving...

[TrashMan]

... a big peace of paper, a plastic bag, glue and scisors.... and a superDVD with clips of Steve Urkel. The plan would be to construct a giant spider net and capture the shivans as they enter Capella, and then force them to commit suicide by playing that DVD....

[Dark Hunter]

The plan was rejected due to the fact that Shivans see in a different spectrum....

[Colonol Dekker]

They see throught the medium of stage dance and song....... And as they communicated via the combination language of Riverstomp, the proceeded to advance on spaceball as it was etering the MEGAMAID transformation sequence during Ludicrous speed..........

[TrashMan]

...and were sucked....

[Dark Hunter]

...into the giant vacuum cleaner... they soon wondered how this happened because a vacuum cannot work in vacuum....

[Nuke]

then the laws of physics break down and the universe imploads. meanwhile in paralell universe #21576921657...

[Tyrian]

...The Shivans ally with the Tribbles, a race of cute pink balls of living fluff, because the Tribbles had the secret to the ultimate weapon of...

[Sarafan]

of creation to recreate the universe that just imploded because that's the only one in that the shivans are a violent race and balance must be remain lest ALL universes implode, meanwhile the Alpha one of this universe...

[TrashMan]

....pulled off a daring plan. The "Best of Steve Urkel" DVD has been converted to the shivan spectrum, and Alpha 1 downloaded it's contents inot hte Shovan comm nodes. As a result...

[Sarafan]

all the Shovans, the most peaceful and enlighted race of the universe, died as for the shIvans, nothing happened and they continued with their plans until...

[WeatherOp]

...a rip in the fabric of time and space caused it all to merge with UT's HLP movie part two.