[Gunteen6]

...and more reasons to blame iraq for all the world's problems...

[Colonol Dekker]

The AQD ~(Al Qaiada Dreadnought) Muahamshasshiramarananan commanded by Admiral Osama Bin Laden came out of Camel Space over The USS Whitehouse, and proceeded to unleash its arsenal of rotten fruit, 3000 cubic tonnes of the stuff, At this the White house used an inverse tachyon field to to fire a Temperal weapon at the AQD "Muahamshasshiramarananan resulting in...............

[Nuke]

...skyrocketing oil prices...

[LordPomposity]

But then W at last revealed to the world that he was after tourists, not terrorists...

[vyper]

..and the economy of florida vanished overnight...

[Nuke]

...and bush opened a concentration camp for tourists, which unfortunately carl was sent to because he was on vacation at disney world...

[TrashMan]

..and was an illegal ALIEN...not to mention he had an unregistered plasma cannon. However Mr T. relized Carl has been trapped, so he and Bosch came with a plan to rescue him...

[Tyrian]

The plan involved a donkey, a hand pump, and a rather large banana.  As part of Phase 1, they used the donkey and banana to...

[Turambar]

smuggle cocaine (in sealed bags inside the bigger bags of coffee), they used the huge profits from this sale to purchase the contents of a sperm bank, which when used in conjunction with the hand pump ...

[WeatherOp]

until, they decided to ley carl rot, and turned into Orkin men.

[Tyrian]

Unfortunately, the Orkin men saw that the extermination market was cornered by the Shivans.  (They can destroy planets after all.)  In light of this, they changed professions and became...

[Nuke]

....pornstars....

[TrashMan]

How ever big, grene, smelly orkins weren't realyl in high demand, so they Mr T and Bosch formulated a new plan! Tehy would travel back in time and...

[Turambar]

assemble a group of persons of historical significance, however their safety was not guaranteed, and they had to bring thier own weapons...

[WeatherOp]

... and they shot Geoge Washington in the butt, messing up the American revolution, gave Einstien future hair condititioner, stopping him from helping create the Atom Bomb since he thought he was too sexy for science. and Mr T's younger self started making fun of the older version, causing him to kill his younger self erasing himself from the fabric of time...

[TrashMan]

...causing amix-up in the time space continuum. The Timeship Relativity went to sort thigs out onyl to be intercepted by Voyager as it's captin though that the temporal chaos was good for her crew getting back. So after Relativity erased Voyager from existance tehy stopped Mr T from killing himself - insted he killed the whole Relativity crew and blew the ship. ....

[Nuke]

then, dr who took carl back in time to the beginnings of life on earth. while carl was there he threw a dildo into the primordial soup...

[TrashMan]

..which caused humanity to evolve....

[Tyrian]

...Into a race of sex-crazed maniacs, obsessed with having the perfect body.  (Wait, how is that different from today?)

[Ace]

Unfortunately they were also fanatical zealots in addition to being sex-crazed maniacs, leading to the AQD Muahamshasshiramarananan being the flagship of the Durkadurkamushamananaramanaman jihad which was the global authority of Earth, except for Pittsburgh.

This made Carl cry and...