[The Dagger]

In my experience the problem with obsessions is that they prevent you from seeing the reality. You build an image, a distorted memory of a girl you knew that is transformed into the only requisit for your neverending happiness. If you really haven't seen this girl in a while and are obsessed with her, it's not really her you want, because you don't even know her that much now. People change and memory can be pretty selective you know.

I mean, the problem is that even if you do get the girl, it won't make you happy. Truth is, obsessions never live up to your expectations.

And if you do get to be friends with this girl, you are up for some bad times too. It'll fuel your obsession even more, but you'll be constantly frustrated, seeing you are so close and yet so far. Your obsession will grow, you'll embrace it and build yourself around it. You'll think constantly of it, and it'll define you. You will think that it's something good. But it isn't even something real. You'll be living a lie. At some point, you will see through it and it'll cost you dear.

Nothing good is ever going to come from this obsession. The obsession is all about yourself and not about the other person. It'll never turn into real love. And it'll never give you happiness. Go find other stuff to do until you can see things objectively. If you make a choice to let it go, it'll be difficult at first but you'll move on and you'll be free and happier at the end.

[Aardwolf]

@Everybody:

I'm already aware of most of the things you said. Either I have specific reasons to disagree, I've accepted them as unfortunate but necessary, or I'm just going to press on and feel uneasy about it.

If you think you had my interests at heart... thanks I guess? But I'll be fine.

If you think you had her interests at heart... we'll see. But pretty much by definition the "happy ending" for me is also happy for her, because what makes it happy for me is that she's friends with me, and she wouldn't be if she were unhappy about it.

And in case I left it ambiguous: yes it is obsessive, yes there's some non-Platonic desire but I wouldn't feel right about acting on it*, and no these girls are not the (sole) reason I'm not going out and meeting new people.

*In fact if she came onto me, I would probably resist, not just because it would be very unexpected and I'd be like "is this a trick?", but also because... dammit, Nuke is never going to let me live this one down... because I have never so much as kissed a girl (nor a guy, but I'm not interested in guys; also mom & dad don't count), and I wouldn't want my first kiss (or other comparable "firsts") to be someone I end up missing for the rest of my life.



@Lorric: thanks, but no thanks. I'm probably not going to talk about this here anymore. Maybe there'll be posts like:

Aardwolf's girl problems update: it was a dud.

But that's probably all.

[Lorric]

You're welcome. In that case, I just hope it doesn't go badly.

[Colonol Dekker]

@AARDWOLF Increase your social circle and social event attendance, with like minded folk (not 100% interest match, just a common one of many) same music or a book group language course or even a regular pub group and the chances you'll end up getting off/kissing will increase five fold.

[Aardwolf]

ratio of nonzero to zero > 5
i told you what i think about "firsts"
hugs are nice though

i'm pretty much done talking about this stuff for now

[Colonol Dekker]

No skin off my balls.

More friends means more hugs.

[deathfun]

UNLESS YOU'RE IN MY CIRCLE OF FRIENDS WHERE WE HUG THE MOUNDS OF DIRT WITH BULLETS!

I also disagree with your numbers Dekker. I worked in a restaurant which inherently equated to lots of what you described. Zilch. Nada. Nothing.
But then again I'm the exception to the rule

[Aardwolf]

Ohhh. Deathfun != deathspeed. I'm s-m-r-t.

[Nuke]

ratio of nonzero to zero > 5
i told you what i think about "firsts"
hugs are nice though

i'm pretty much done talking about this stuff for now

thing about firsts is i dont remember any of them. they weren't memorable. they weren't memorable because i was a noob and didnt know what the **** i was doing. get over this notion that the first anything is going to be the best and needs to be perfect.

UNLESS YOU'RE IN MY CIRCLE OF FRIENDS WHERE WE HUG THE MOUNDS OF DIRT WITH BULLETS!

I also disagree with your numbers Dekker. I worked in a restaurant which inherently equated to lots of what you described. Zilch. Nada. Nothing.
But then again I'm the exception to the rule

your gun fettish needs more dead animals in it. think of it this way: FREE MEAT!

[deathfun]

Gotta get a hunting license which I will eventually at some point
And I blame my lack of intimacy the reason behind my gun fetish!

That and they're a good hobby to invest in. Forget golf and other sports

[CommanderDJ]

Got a job interview next week for a job I'd actually like.

Got through to the final round for this, but it's the day after a major uni deadline next week AND I'm sick. Why do all these things always pile up? I feel like I don't even have time to breathe.

Had the final interview today. I think it went okay... they'll let me know in a couple of weeks!

Update: found out that these guys reference-checked me yesterday. I'm afraid to be hopeful, but things are looking better than before.

[Sololop]

First night in four days I haven't woken up covered in flea bites. I don't even have any pets. But I got the landlord to get a pest guy to spray, I vacuumed everything, and did all the laundry and bedding. I think, and I hope, I am victorious.

[Lorric]

Well that saying about a flea without a dog obviously isn't worth jack!

[Aardwolf]

I've been getting a lot more spam messages on my AIM account(s) recently. I hope they're actual specially created spambot accounts and not real people's accounts that have somehow become compromised, because I've been blocking them all

[AtomicClucker]

Been having fun applying graduation papers after taking most of the summer, and that of building a beefy firewall for a small Minecraft server.

But I'm going to get some Bosch Beer and chill.

[Scotty]

Someone tried to log into my steam account last night, so today is mass password change day.

[Grizzly]

Hmm, I peeked over my kid brother's shoulder a few hours ago, and saw that he was watching a video by The Amazing Atheïst on rape and all that bad stuff. So, I decided to give it a look.

I am now rather concerned by my brother's viewing habits 0_o. I couldn't watch for more then 4 minutes.

[Nuke]

this is why im a nihilist, i dont want to be in the same group as some of the atheists out there. eventually the nihilists will piss me off and i dont know what i will do then.

[Grizzly]

this is why im a nihilist, i dont want to be in the same group as some of the atheists out there. eventually the nihilists will piss me off and i dont know what i will do then.

Become a fissionist?

[Luis Dias]

It was not a bad video.
But what to do when we are hampered by our 4 minute attention span?
Criticize those who aren't of course!