[Suongadon]

When they go with what you were wearing, then I'll think of you when I see them, so, more dates.

Or you could actually be impressed with how thoughtful I was, so more dates, but I suppose that's asking a bit much.

...at least of anyone who's not Alessia. (You do realize you're talking to one of the members of the board who's actually married, right?)

I didn't, but I don't see that it matters - not any more than 'I-haz-vagina', so basically, not at all at this point. And in just about every circumstance I can come up with where I'd be expecting//desiring flowers-with-date, I'd be creeped the **** out if date-person deliberately brought me flowers to match my anything. Unless they went with the contents of the lil' white box subtly concealed behind the flowers.

Flowers will never come close to a bottle of wine
Get women wine. Women love wine
Afterall...
You can't spell wine without "win"

Flowers >> Wine. Sorry, I love me some wine, but it's not a date-gift.

[deathfun]

I didn't say it was a date-gift

That and if you don't find it fitting, then sobeit. Most of the girls I know fall more in line with what I said, but that's because we all work in the restaurant business

We ain't got time for flowers

Sidenote: I dislike gifts you purchase from stores. For people I care about in such a fashion, I make the effort of creating rather than picking something up from the store. If I ever bring someone flowers (a big if, I'm not really someone people date), I'll make damned sure that I grew the damned things myself

[Nuke]

i think it would be really romatic to take a girl deer hunting as a date. she can like wear a camo mini-skirt. for a gift you could like rip out a deer heart and give it to her while its still beating. that would be awesome romantic.

also nobody would do anything stupid because both of you would be armed.

[Kopachris]

Anyone mention the fact that flowers are basically plants' genitals?

"Hey, I saw this flower and it reminded me of you, because it's basically genitals."

[Shivan Hunter]

hold that thought while I find my Blindsight pdf

[EDIT] damn, the whole passage wasn't actually about flowers as I'd thought, but it's still semi-sort of-relevant about romantic gestures and hilarious

     I had my own style, of course. I tried to be charming in my own peculiar way. Once, after one too many fights about honesty and emotional manipulation, I'd started to think maybe a touch of whimsy might smooth things over. I had come to suspect that Chelsea just didn't understand sexual politics. Sure she'd edited brains for a living, but maybe she'd just memorized all that circuitry without giving any thought to how it had arisen in the first place, to the ultimate rules of natural selection that had shaped it. Maybe she honestly didn't know that we were evolutionary enemies, that all relationships were doomed to failure. If I could slip that insight into her head— if I could charm my way past her defenses— maybe we'd be able to hold things together. So I thought about it, and I came up with the perfect way to raise her awareness. I wrote her a bedtime story, a disarming blend of humor and affection, and I called it

The Book of Oogenesis

In the beginning were the gametes. And though there was sex, lo, there was no gender, and life was in balance.
     And God said, "Let there be Sperm": and some seeds did shrivel in size and grow cheap to make, and they did flood the market.
     And God said, "Let there be Eggs": and other seeds were afflicted by a plague of Sperm. And yea, few of them bore fruit, for Sperm brought no food for the zygote, and only the largest Eggs could make up the shortfall. And these grew yet larger in the fullness of time.
     And God put the Eggs into a womb, and said, "Wait here: for thy bulk has made thee unwieldy, and Sperm must seek thee out in thy chambers. Henceforth shalt thou be fertilized internally." And it was so.
     And God said to the gametes, "The fruit of thy fusion may abide in any place and take any shape. It may breathe air or water or the sulphurous muck of hydrothermal vents. But do not forget my one commandment unto you, which has not changed from the beginning of time: spread thy genes."
     And thus did Sperm and Egg go into the world. And Sperm said, "I am cheap and plentiful, and if sowed abundantly I will surely fulfill God's plan. I shall forever seek out new mates and then abandon them when they are with child, for there are many wombs and little time."
     But Egg said, "Lo, the burden of procreation weighs heavily upon me. I must carry flesh that is but half mine, gestate and feed it even when it leaves my chamber" (for by now many of Egg's bodies were warm of blood, and furry besides). "I can have but few children, and must devote myself to those, and protect them at every turn. And I will make Sperm help me, for he got me into this. And though he doth struggle at my side, I shall not let him stray, nor lie with my competitors."
     And Sperm liked this not.
     And God smiled, for Its commandment had put Sperm and Egg at war with each other, even unto the day they made themselves obsolete.

     I brought her flowers one dusky Tuesday evening when the light was perfect. I pointed out the irony of that romantic old tradition — the severed genitalia of another species, offered as a precopulatory bribe—and then I recited my story just as we were about to ****.
     To this day, I still don't know what went wrong.

[Scourge of Ages]

Anyone mention the fact that flowers are basically plants' genitals?

"Hey, I saw this flower and it reminded me of you, because it's basically genitals."

Yes, someone did. Not quite so eloquently, but yeah.

[Phantom Hoover]

This thread really is spectacularly bad, in the most boring and predictable way.

[karajorma]

*Split-locks PhantomHoover's posts* Thread improves.



Take that as a friendly warning. If you want to improve the thread, post something interesting. If you just want to complain about how bad the thread is, you're basically trolling and can expect consequences.

[General Battuta]

hold that thought while I find my Blindsight pdf

[EDIT] damn, the whole passage wasn't actually about flowers as I'd thought, but it's still semi-sort of-relevant about romantic gestures and hilarious

     I had my own style, of course. I tried to be charming in my own peculiar way. Once, after one too many fights about honesty and emotional manipulation, I'd started to think maybe a touch of whimsy might smooth things over. I had come to suspect that Chelsea just didn't understand sexual politics. Sure she'd edited brains for a living, but maybe she'd just memorized all that circuitry without giving any thought to how it had arisen in the first place, to the ultimate rules of natural selection that had shaped it. Maybe she honestly didn't know that we were evolutionary enemies, that all relationships were doomed to failure. If I could slip that insight into her head— if I could charm my way past her defenses— maybe we'd be able to hold things together. So I thought about it, and I came up with the perfect way to raise her awareness. I wrote her a bedtime story, a disarming blend of humor and affection, and I called it

The Book of Oogenesis

In the beginning were the gametes. And though there was sex, lo, there was no gender, and life was in balance.
     And God said, "Let there be Sperm": and some seeds did shrivel in size and grow cheap to make, and they did flood the market.
     And God said, "Let there be Eggs": and other seeds were afflicted by a plague of Sperm. And yea, few of them bore fruit, for Sperm brought no food for the zygote, and only the largest Eggs could make up the shortfall. And these grew yet larger in the fullness of time.
     And God put the Eggs into a womb, and said, "Wait here: for thy bulk has made thee unwieldy, and Sperm must seek thee out in thy chambers. Henceforth shalt thou be fertilized internally." And it was so.
     And God said to the gametes, "The fruit of thy fusion may abide in any place and take any shape. It may breathe air or water or the sulphurous muck of hydrothermal vents. But do not forget my one commandment unto you, which has not changed from the beginning of time: spread thy genes."
     And thus did Sperm and Egg go into the world. And Sperm said, "I am cheap and plentiful, and if sowed abundantly I will surely fulfill God's plan. I shall forever seek out new mates and then abandon them when they are with child, for there are many wombs and little time."
     But Egg said, "Lo, the burden of procreation weighs heavily upon me. I must carry flesh that is but half mine, gestate and feed it even when it leaves my chamber" (for by now many of Egg's bodies were warm of blood, and furry besides). "I can have but few children, and must devote myself to those, and protect them at every turn. And I will make Sperm help me, for he got me into this. And though he doth struggle at my side, I shall not let him stray, nor lie with my competitors."
     And Sperm liked this not.
     And God smiled, for Its commandment had put Sperm and Egg at war with each other, even unto the day they made themselves obsolete.

     I brought her flowers one dusky Tuesday evening when the light was perfect. I pointed out the irony of that romantic old tradition — the severed genitalia of another species, offered as a precopulatory bribe—and then I recited my story just as we were about to ****.
     To this day, I still don't know what went wrong.

This passage always annoyed me because the biology is Reddit-level simplified and wrong.

[karajorma]

That's probably why he didn't get any.

I mean she wasn't too upset at the comment about flower genitals, it was obviously the scientific inaccuracies that turned her off.

[Phantom Hoover]

i wonder if the author had heard of frogs

[perihelion]

I'd just assumed it was written from the point of view of a flawed narrator.  We weren't supposed to agree with all of Siri's perspectives.  I thought that was part of the point.

[Lorric]

Anyone mention the fact that flowers are basically plants' genitals?

"Hey, I saw this flower and it reminded me of you, because it's basically genitals."

Plants are sluts. The way they gussy up their genitals and stick them out for the World to see and be encouraged to touch. And touch them we do.

"Hey, I bought these flowers for you because they reminded me of you. Plants are sluts just like you."

 

[Polpolion]

Plants are sluts. The way they gussy up their genitals and stick them out for the World to see and be encouraged to touch. And touch them we do.

"Hey, I bought these flowers for you because they reminded me of you. Plants are sluts just like you."

 

I find this post objectionable because it implies that even safe, responsible promiscuity is bad. Secondly, it implies that reproductive behavior vital for survival is bad. Thirdly, you're calling anyone that's received flowers a slut. I can tell from your smiley face that you meant it as a joke but I consider it in poor taste.

[Lorric]

Plants are sluts. The way they gussy up their genitals and stick them out for the World to see and be encouraged to touch. And touch them we do.

"Hey, I bought these flowers for you because they reminded me of you. Plants are sluts just like you."

 

I find this post objectionable because it implies that even safe, responsible promiscuity is bad. Secondly, it implies that reproductive behavior vital for survival is bad. Thirdly, you're calling anyone that's received flowers a slut. I can tell from your smiley face that you meant it as a joke but I consider it in poor taste.

Yes, the smiley was put there to show it is a joke.

I've never called anyone a slut before, and I have no problem with what people do with their sex lives, I'm a big believer in sexual freedom.

[The E]

Okay, I think this thread has been going on waaayyy too long.

[Nuke]

thank lucifer!

[Goober5000]

no.

[Lorric]

Stop cheating please you mods and admins.

It's one thing to shut down the topic simply because you don't like it, rather than any infringements, another to carry on posting in it when the rest of us can't.

[MP-Ryan]

Hell just froze, I think Lorric makes a legitimate point here. *looks pointedly at Nuke and Goober*