Author Topic: Just another day at HLP...  (Read 26953 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Unknown Target

  • Get off my lawn!
  • Global Moderator
  • 212
  • Push.Pull?
Just another day at HLP...
Scene One: EXT. Space
Fade from black. We see a starfield in front of us, and we start to move towards it, gradually going at a faster rate. Begin credits and music. We fly past multiple stars and nebulas as opening credits are fading in and out again. We suddenly see the dim outline of the VBB Station (Arcadia-class). Continue to roll credits and play music. We continuosly fly closer to the station, but pause about a mile out, as the music and credits stop. We stay like that for a few seconds, making the audience wonder what's going on. Suddenly, we see a flash of light, and a twin pair of thrusters burning intensly. Suddenly, more flashes and thruster glows appear, gradually becoming faster and more common. Suddenly, one flys towards us, passing just beneath the camera. The camera shakes as we play the flybye sound effects. Just as it leaves our FOV (Field Of View), we see numerous small explosions erupt on the Arcadia. Suddenly, a monstrous explosion rips the station in half. The two halves of the station begin to drift at apart, and suddenly a humongous explosion, complete with a colossal shockwave, erupts. We mute sound. Begin playing a solom, emotional music track. We cut to a 50-degree angled side view of three escape pods, flying as fast as they can away from the station. The station is out of our FOV, to the right of the screen, but the shockwave is approaching fast. The camera is bobbing up and down, trying to stay focused on the center pod. We see that the pod has a black scythe and a numer: 00494832, outlined against the white pod body. We cut to slow-motion, complete with motion blurs, as the shockwave overtakes the last two pods. Camera is still bobbing up and down. They get destroyed, and the shockwave continues on. In the distance we can see other pods have made it, but we continue to try to stay focused on the one pod. The shockwave manages to catch up, but only knocks out one of the engines, sending the ship into an uncontrollable death spiral. Continue to play music, but keep extrenal sounds muted. The pod gets knocked downards at incredible speeds. As the camera snaps downwards, we stop slow motion+blur, and follow it downwards. It is moving so fast, it doesn't take it long for us to lose sight of it. Fade to black.

Scene 2: INT. Day. HLPBB, General Discussions.
The scene opens to fish-eye view from the ceiling, looking down through a slowly turning fan. We see a gaggle of newbies, goggling at Setekh's renders, asking passerby where they could get the program that made them. Numerous discussions are taking place. We see an admin walk through, looking left and right for perpetrators, HLP hammer of justice dangling at his side.

Thunder: (Voice-Over) "When the Volition board was operating, we were our best hope for Moding. When it exploded in the cataclysmic event that sent shockwaves through the community, we became the last, best hope for Freespace."
Cut to black.
INT. Freespace Source Code Forum. Day.
Fade from black. We open to silence. A few machines can be seen in the background, along with some human sighloettes. All is lit by a bluish glow. Slowly, laboratory clicks and beeps can be heard. Suddenly, voices can be heard. A figure appears from behind the camera. It is Kazan. We follow him from a behind-the-back view. He walks towards the center. He pauses, and puts his arms on his hips. Suddenly, he looks to the right, and shouts at something. He runs over to the right. Before following him, we pause for a couple seconds. We see what he was looking at. It is a giant holographic display in the center of the room, with a double helix floating inside. the camera snaps to the right, and follows Kazan over to where he's shouting at Inquisitor. Numerous parts and components can be seen scattered over the floor.

Kazan: No, no, NO! Red goes here! Black goes THERE! What are you taking this all apart for! I'm trying to get out of here and you're taking everything apart!

Inquisitor makes some wookie-like groans and yelps

Kazan: Don't get smart with me, asshole!

As theycontinue to argue, we pan around the room, and we see r0nin playing with some Robotech toys in a corner, and WMCoolmon is fiddling with some high explosives. We see a troll cursing out a senior forum member in another corner, and zoom in.

Troll: Yuasshole!Youcoldn'tprogramifitwasshovdupyourass!

Bobboau: That doesn't even make any sense.

Troll: Shutupdipsht!

Suddenly, the door slams open, and we see the silghouete of Thunder framed against the outside light.

Bobboau: Thunder, finally, what took so long?

Thunder: Sorry, Bobboau, I had some problems withe the elavator. Now, where's that troll?

Bobboau: Over here.

Thunder walks over to the corner, and eyes the troll curiously. Suddenly, he grabs the handle of his hammer. The troll's eyes go wide. We cut to a close up of the troll's eyes. We cut to Thunder. We cut to the handle. In slow motion, he pulls it out. We mute all external sounds. When he pulls it out, we here an echoing click resound.

Troll: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

The hammer ignites, and, still in slow-mo, Thunder swings it down. External sound and regular speed return as the hammer connects, and troll is vaporized. Thunder walks outside, and the door closes behind him. We can here him whistling the tune to David Bowe's "I'm a Spaceman,"
Fade to black as we  zoom in on the door
« Last Edit: July 21, 2002, 01:37:09 pm by 368 »

 

Offline Redfang

  • 28
Just another day at HLP...
I like it. :yes:
 
But why so many spell hear here? :p

 

Offline Unknown Target

  • Get off my lawn!
  • Global Moderator
  • 212
  • Push.Pull?
Just another day at HLP...
just because :p
« Last Edit: July 02, 2002, 11:03:26 am by 368 »

 

Offline Reaper

  • Swarmer
  • 28
    • http://www.winissimo.net/ww3/
Re: Just another day at HLP...
Quote
Originally posted by Unkown Target
We can here him whistling the tune to David Bowe's "I'm a Spaceman,"


:lol:
There is full moon shining on the sky... It's midnight... I'm rising from my grave... I have my scythe and i'm thirsty for blood... I'm ready, i'm ready to steal souls and feed on them... I'm ready to kill
World War III: Wasteland Earth

 

Offline Unknown Target

  • Get off my lawn!
  • Global Moderator
  • 212
  • Push.Pull?
Just another day at HLP...
And here's the next chapter.
[NOTE: This thread will probably be moved and renamed something else in the near future, due to the fact that the original (and unchangable) topic header is now inadequite to describe what this thread is about. In an effort to get more readers, I'm going to change it to better describe the story.]
Aaannnyyyywaaaayyysss....

INT. Docking bay 5. Day.
Fade from black. We open to see a general mess. Everything's charred and blackened, while shotgun holes riddle the walls and other areas. Numerous newbies are lying unconscious, strewn about the floor. Sounds of yelling and fighting can be heard in the next bay. We pan around the room, hearing and seeing some fires crackling in the distance. We stop panning, and focus on an escape pod. Wait a few seconds. A door bursts open, and we snap to it, and see wEvil, replete with flowing cape, walk into the room, flanked by Black Ace and Skippy.

wEvil: Black!

Black Ace: Yes, master?

wEvil: Has the package arrived?

BA: Yes, it is over there.

He points, and we pan the camera up along his arm, to see what he is pointing at. It's the shuttle. As they are walking to it, we pan out from them, and rotate the camera around the shuttle, still focusing on the group. We see burn marks on one of the engines.

wEvil: Skippy! Was it towed in without any...problems?

Skippy: A simple drone was inspecting the tractor beam, but we eliminated it.

wEvil: (in insidious Venom-like voice) Gooooooodddd....

He runs his hand over the shuttle's hull. He runs his figures over the chipped image of a scythe and a number: 00494832.

Thorn: Darkage! Begin cryogenic thawing immediatley!

Darkage: Yes sir, but it shall take awhile.

Thorn: That is acceptable. We have...
cut to a close up of his eyes, one is partially hidden in the shadows
...all the time in the world.

Screen wipe to:
INT. General Discussions. Day.
We see Kamikaze and Razor trying to decide which was better: Total Anhilation, or the Command and Conquer series

Kamikaze: I'm tellin' ya, Razor, C&C is way better that TA! Westwood practically made TA, because they revolutionised the RTS industry!

Razor: Not so! All they do is package the same game with new graphics and manuel, and sell it as Command Conquer: Yet Again! TA was so much better, because of it's originality!

Kamikaze: Riiiighhttt...and I suppose you think Elvis is alive too, right?

Razor: Shhhh! Don't say it so loud!

While the argument is going on, we pan over to see Thunder and Shrike discussing the current state of the board.

Thunder: I'm telling you Shrike, we should beef up security! The boards defences are 30 years old, and don't even get me talking about the bathrooms in the Independance War forums!

Shrike: Alright, Thunder you try footing the bill!

Thunder: Now, now, don't get hasty there, I'm simply saying...

His voice fades out as we also fade out the view to:

INT. TAP Forums. Night.
Fade from previous scene. We can here construction efforts in the background, and the sounds of drilling. We pan across the room to see a gaggle of contsruction workers hammering away at the pod

wEvil: (out of site) What is the delay! I expected this to be at least open two days ago!

Analazon: I am sorry, your evilness, but it is taking time. The pod was sealed shut in the cataclysm that destroyed the VBB.

Suddenly, in the background, we hear a shout and a groan of metal. WE snap to a view of the side of the pod, where a worker has pried open the shuttle's main cargo door. Inside we can see the two frozen bodies of Alpha_One, and HemroidFrogButt.

wEvil: The day has come! We will bring HLP to it's knees, and let the rule of the trolls begin!

a cheer erupts from the crowd, as we fade to black

What is wEvil's plan? Will he succeed? Stay tuned, and comments are welcome!
« Last Edit: July 02, 2002, 12:34:39 pm by 368 »

 

Offline Reaper

  • Swarmer
  • 28
    • http://www.winissimo.net/ww3/
Just another day at HLP...
Larva will infest wEvil and rule the universe MWAHAHAHA!
There is full moon shining on the sky... It's midnight... I'm rising from my grave... I have my scythe and i'm thirsty for blood... I'm ready, i'm ready to steal souls and feed on them... I'm ready to kill
World War III: Wasteland Earth

 

Offline Darkage

  • CRAZY RENDER RABBIT
  • 211
Just another day at HLP...
Now this is good reading material ! wants more now !...i want to hear it all, and ofcourse how it ends whit the cryogenic stuff:D

Good going dude !
[email protected]
Returned from the dead.

 

Offline Redfang

  • 28
Just another day at HLP...
:yes::yes::yes: Very good, it is. :)

  

Offline Unknown Target

  • Get off my lawn!
  • Global Moderator
  • 212
  • Push.Pull?
Just another day at HLP...
I'm glad you like it:D
I might put the next part up tonight. I have huge loads of time, so I can do this stuff pretty quickly;)

 

Offline Darkage

  • CRAZY RENDER RABBIT
  • 211
Just another day at HLP...
Quote
Originally posted by Unkown Target
I'm glad you like it:D
I might put the next part up tonight. I have huge loads of time, so I can do this stuff pretty quickly;)



Yes please ! it's so much fun to read ! i actualy read it 4 times both parts:D
[email protected]
Returned from the dead.

 

Offline Unknown Target

  • Get off my lawn!
  • Global Moderator
  • 212
  • Push.Pull?
I decided to post parts 3+4 early...
For the fans :D ;)
Part 5+6, coming later, because I know this one was kinda short....




---------------------
--------Part 3
---------------------



Fade from black. We open up to see:

INT. GD. Day.
We see a giant Shivan in the corner, eating some newbies. Next to him is the charred remnants of some cattle prods. We see CobaltStarr walk past, then do a double-take of the situation

CS: Carl! I thought I told you to leave them alone!

We see Carl glance at the prods

CS: What, did they mistake you for a cow again? I mean, geez, you'd think they'd learn by now.

Carl grunts

CS: Well then, I was just going to Freespace Moding, you want something?

carl groans and tosses a slab of meat at him.

CS: That's right, you're probably full. Well, see ya!

As CobaltStarr walks away, we pan across the room to see Ace Pace, Analazon, and Infested_Larvae talking to wEvil. We cut to a close up of each of thier faces. We focus on each as each person is talking.

Infested_Larvae: So what did you want us for, Evil?

Ace Pace: Yea, I've got this kewl campaign I was wanting to play back in the main lobb--

wEvil: Silence fool! I talk not of petty games, but of the total domination of the HLPBB!

Analazon: Hey, whoa, man, you can't do that! That's against the rules, right?

We cut to a close-up of wEvil's eyes. We see him shoot a look of pure venom at Analazon, making us wonder what might happen to him.

wEvil: Maybe it is, hmmmm?

Ace Pace, seeing this, interjects:

Ace Pace: So, ummm, Evil, what did you have in mind?

Infested_Larvae: Yea, I'm in! When do we start?

wEvil: You just wait, my friend. Just wait...

---------------------
------Part 4
---------------------

We cut to a close up of wEvil eyes, as we fade to black. When it is completely black, we see a flair of red light, shaping itself into wEvil's eyes. We think it really is his eyes, until the rest of the screen gradually fades from black. As we zoom out from the lights, the room begins to materialize.We see it is only an empty cob-webbed forum, with junk scattered everywhere. The eyes turn out to be elavator position lights. They grow brighter and brighter, in tune with the noise coming from the shaft. Suddenly, when the lights are almost blinding, the noise stops, and the door opens, a la Babylon 5-type swing. Two men in battle armor step out, machine-gun-mounted flashlights in hand. They swing the lights back and forth.
 One of them shines it directly into the camera, whiting it out. When the soldier swings his rifle away, we see we have moved somewhere else in the the place. One of the soldiers puts a hand to the side of his head and holds it there. We here wEvil's voice crackle over the radio. We begin zooming in on the soldier's helmet, where he is holding his hand.


wEvil: (in grainy, staticy voice) Is it clear?

Soldier: Yes, there were a few forum lurkers, but we took care of them. They're feeding the Vasudans now.

Keep zooming into soldiers head.


wEvil: Excellent, this abandoned forum will serve as our base of operations for now. Secure the area, I am sending construction crews now.

now we have entered the soldiers helmet. We see a small microphone and zoom into it. Suddenly, we stop zooming and pull out, revealing that we are in the cryogenic farm's controll room, overlooking the farm. We see that the two trolls that were recovered from the pod are almost thawed out. wEvil is holding the microphone. Continue zooming out until we stop just past his sholder.

wEvil: Black...?

Black Ace: (off-screen) Yes, sire?

wEvil: I want you...to make me a moderator.

Black Ace: (Obviously stunned) But sir! That won't go over too well, people will get susp--

wEvil: The people will know nothing. We will issue a statement that I am taking over the project that used to be hosted on the forum we are now using and say that I am being given the powers to suit such a position.

Black Ace: As you wish, sire.

We cut to black

Part 5: Coming soon! Again, comments welcome!
« Last Edit: July 03, 2002, 09:23:28 am by 368 »

 

Offline Shrike

  • Postadmin
  • 211
    • http://www.3dap.com/hlp
Just another day at HLP...
Quote
Originally posted by Unkown Target
Shrike: Alright, Thunder you try footing the bill!

Thunder: Now, now, don't get hasty there, I'm simply saying...
Heh, it's funny cause it's true. ;)
WE ARE HARD LIGHT PRODUCTIONS. YOU WILL LOWER YOUR FIREWALLS AND SURRENDER YOUR KEYBOARDS. WE WILL ADD YOUR INTELLECTUAL AND VERNACULAR DISTINCTIVENESS TO OUR OWN. YOUR FORUMS WILL ADAPT TO SERVICE US. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE.

 

Offline Fineus

  • I made this.
  • Administrator
  • 212
    • Hard Light Productions
Just another day at HLP...
Lol, True that ;)

This is really funny, keep up this kinda thing guys - just keep it pleasent and it'll make great comedy material!

 

Offline Darkage

  • CRAZY RENDER RABBIT
  • 211
Just another day at HLP...
I wonder how he makes this stuff up, you must have allot of free time on your hands to make this up:) And you must also be damn bored:D
[email protected]
Returned from the dead.

 

Offline Unknown Target

  • Get off my lawn!
  • Global Moderator
  • 212
  • Push.Pull?
Just another day at HLP...
Both, LOL:D

 

Offline delta_7890

  • Your Node Is Mine
  • 28
Just another day at HLP...
Sweet...a very good read.  Damn hillarious too.
~Delta

 

Offline Reaper

  • Swarmer
  • 28
    • http://www.winissimo.net/ww3/
Just another day at HLP...
Cool :lol:
There is full moon shining on the sky... It's midnight... I'm rising from my grave... I have my scythe and i'm thirsty for blood... I'm ready, i'm ready to steal souls and feed on them... I'm ready to kill
World War III: Wasteland Earth

 

Offline Pera

  • Tapper
  • 28
Just another day at HLP...
Oh dear... :rolleyes:
One is never alone with a rubberduck - Hitchhikers guide to the Galaxy

The Apocalypse Project

 

Offline Unknown Target

  • Get off my lawn!
  • Global Moderator
  • 212
  • Push.Pull?
Just another day at HLP...
DAMN IT! I have to re-type the entire thing now! Please, don't be surprised if this is a little short, or if it isn't as good. Bear with me here.

---------------------------------
----------Part 5
---------------------------------

Fade from black. We open to:

INT. Forum Control. Night.

We open to see the room in severe dis-array. The HLP staff are lying around the room, all in different stages of sleep. Suddenly, a slow, methodic beeping starts. We pan around the room towards the beeping, and eventually focus on Griffon, asleep at his console. We see the beeping reflect off of his face from the distance. Cut to 50 degree, downards-angle close up of his face. All we can see is his face, the far wall, and the console he's resting on. He wakes up slowly, obviously in a daze.

Griffon: Hey? Wha? Honey, I swear, I didn't--oh.

He gets up wearily, and stretches his back. He walks over to Thunder

Griffon: Thunder! Thu-Thunder! Hey!

We see him reach for a box of stale chicken McNuggets, also lying on Thunder's desk. He whacks Thunder over the head with them.

Thunder: (Startled) AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! ATTACK! GET DOWN! MAYDAY!!! YAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Thunder leapes towards him. Griffon falls over backwards to dodge his blows. As Griffon is in mid-fall, and Thunder's in mid-air, where Griffon used to be, pause time. Begin camera half-rotation. Stop rotation when this is done, and fast forward time to 2X it's normal speed. When they hit the ground, return time speed to normal. We pan around to focus on Thunder, lying on the floor

Thunder: WhoWhatWhereWhy?!

Griffon: (on the floor, out of site) Relax, Thunder. We picked up something on the sensors that I thought you might want to see.

We see Thunder get up to walk over to the console. We follow him with the camera, eventually resting on a back view, so all we can see is his back and sections of the console. Griffon gets up to meet him. He settles in the same position, next to him.

Thunder: Well, what is it?

Griffon: (Nods, and taps screen) Well, it seems that we have sensor contacts here and here, in the Technological Superiority forum.

Thunder: Well, yea, duh. Don't you read announcments? What's-his-name, uhhhhhhh....Wedgie, was it? He's taking over the project there. Even been given full Moderator privelages.

Griffon: It's, erm, wEvil. Sir.
Anyways, I heard that, but that isn't the thing that I'm worried about.

Thunder: Oh, and what is?

Griffon: (Taps screen wherever he's pointing.) Well, it seems that we have contacts here, where they should be.

Thunder: Annnnnnnnndddddd........?

Griffon: (Getting a little nervous) Well, we also have contacts here, here annnnddd....here. Where they shouldn't be.

Thunder: Ahhhh...I see them. Well, it's probably nothing. Lurkers, most like.

Griffon: But sir!

Thunder: (laughs) You worry too much, Griffon!

Griffon: I worry just the right amount, sir. (winks, and smiles)

Thunder: (smiles back) Alright, I'll gether a couple people and send them in, if that'll make you feel better.

Griffon: It would sir, thank you.

Thunder pats him on the back, and begins to walk away. We follow him with the camera, until we're a little away from Griffon's body, but on a flat horizontal plane. We can still see Thunder through the gap created by Griffon's still stoopched form. Thunder pauses

Thunder: Oh, and Griff?

Griffon: Yes, sir?

Thunder: Remind me to demote you for whacking with those nuggets. Now I have to go take a shower. Gah, that's the last time we order take-out from there!

Griffon: (Grins) Aye, sir.

Screen wipe to:

Next part, comign soon :D
« Last Edit: July 03, 2002, 08:35:55 am by 368 »

 

Offline CP5670

  • Dr. Evil
  • Global Moderator
  • 212
  • 142857
Just another day at HLP...
LOL! this is good stuff... :D