Author Topic: Let's play Blood Bowl 2  (Read 17630 times)

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Offline Mika

  • 28
Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
HLPBowlers vs Incandescent Wings (High Elves), Game 2, Post #1

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So yea, me and da Boyz go aginst da High Elves. Bloody Elves! I wish dem was all dead.

Letz have a looksie on dem  team. Incandescent Wings? Muttering: stoopid poncy elfs

Sissies. Dem sissies are rich and famous. Fancy armor and clean clothes.

One of dem linos has Strength 4??? Dat elf is as strong as dem Black Boyz! Beefcake elf!

Now note one thing of da opposition: dem all are Agility 4, dat mean dem elves can dodge away from you dead easy. So dem elves play dishonest game, dem run away from da fight and attack from da rear when you Boyz least expect it.

We buy Apothecary to take care of the wounded. But dem cannae save you always.

Start da match!

Dem elves hire Bloodweiser Babes. Dem women pretty, wiv big tankards. Dat helps stunned elves get up fasta.

PINK??!! PINK??!!

Murderize dem Boyz!

Referee throws da coin, we win agin

We attack in straight line dis time, da boyz names are marked now

Pfffft! Dem elves THROW da ball??!! Wiv hands? Dat's cheating!

High Elf player: "But my shoes would get dirty!"

Kill dem Boyz, I heard enugh

Da boyz can move closer - good good

Da THROW lands between Swashmebuckle and Schnakc

Dem elves cannae reach, so we punch first.

Black Knight, I said PUNCH, not PUSH.

Scourge does betta

But dat is just a stun.

Mammothtank blitz! All he manages is a push.

Mammothtank go protect da ball

In case anybody was wondering why I retreated the blitzer the idea lies in the fact that he makes a strong cage corner player (with block skill) in the position that is most likely the one blitzed if the elves decide to go for the ball.

Scotty, go to da corner!

Continue punching! Blackbelt Jones pushes da blitzer.

How many time must I tell you, PUNCH, not PUSH!

Tukost, close the central attack line to da cage

Black Dynamite secures da right side, but no injury.

Swashmebuckle takes advantage of hiz Sure Hands skill. This woulda been turnover if he had not it. Good lad

Schnakc go center, dat is da safest for ya

Spoon blocks last wiv a double POW, but manages no injury.

On dem turn, dem elves run away from Orcs, but da Black Boyz are vigilant

High elf: "I fell? Fell?! On the ground! That's dirty!"


« Last Edit: September 12, 2016, 03:12:08 pm by Mika »
Relaxed movement is always more effective than forced movement.


Offline Mika

  • 28
Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
HLPBowlers vs Incandescent Wings (High Elves), Game 2, Post #2

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Swashmebuckle, go to better cover behind da meat wall

Mammothtank revs dat blitzing engine again, and shouts "Armor superiority!"

Since he has betta armor, da lineman goes down

Da lineorcs protect Swashmebuckle from da rear, and Scotty engages da right flank

Blackbelt Jones smashes da lineman one step too close, but does not break armor

Black Dynamite pushes da Blitzer.

And dat is our turn.

Black Dynamite gets blocked in return

Blackbelt Jones gets a punch to da face too

Da beefcake elf punches Scotty, Scotty goes down

Coach: stop dying you cowards!

Black Knight takes a push, finally stopping da offensive elves

And da Orcs are ready for turn 3.

Aaand more of this game tomorrow
« Last Edit: September 12, 2016, 03:13:02 pm by Mika »
Relaxed movement is always more effective than forced movement.


Offline Mika

  • 28
Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
HLPBowlers vs Incandescent Wings (High Elves), Game 2, Post #3

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Unusually, Spoon takes the lead on this turn. Come'on man, punch through the elf lines! We need them front to collapse!

Well that's not exactly what I had in mind

Scourge and Blackdynamite start to pull their weight and stun two elfies

Their expression is almost poetic

Mammothtank runs to assist the right flank against the beefcake elf.

...and receives a push on the elves turn from that beefcake elf.

Rest of their turn is uneventful.

We start the turn with a rather unusual elf positioning, next to all of their players are on a straight line and punchable, which is not common for the elves.

Spoon is back to his normal self, I was starting to get worried.

Spoon: "Wait, me push or punch?"

While the Black Orcs are pulling their weight again, but no injuries here. Come on guys, aim better!

Scotty blocks the beefcake elf, and knocks him out! Well done Scotty!

Scotty: "Haha humie got punched!"

Black Dynamite blocks the flanking elf

And stuns him. A couple of pushes later, we hand the turn to the elves, who mainly retreat and start defensive play typical for elves, called the elf curtain. They leave as few players as possible to get punched, but this arrangement effectively blocks the access forwards with a double layer of their players. Remember, only one player can blitz per turn.

However, Black Dynamite's block has left the curtain open at a critical point, and guess which side we will advance on?

« Last Edit: September 12, 2016, 03:13:46 pm by Mika »
Relaxed movement is always more effective than forced movement.


Offline Mika

  • 28
Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
HLPBowlers vs Incandescent Wings (High Elves), Game 2, Post #4

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That's right

All available Orcs advance on the right flank! And you too Schnakc!

The rest of you in the middle, block, block as if you had never blocked before!

Spoon blitzes  :eek2:

And manages to stay on his feet at least

Scourge repeats the experiment

I'm seeing a distinct lack of injury here boyz.

Scourge being alone is likely an elf player magnet, so...

*Puts on sunglasses*

I guess you could call yourself blocked.


It's elves turn, and here it comes:

Black Dynamite eats it:

Seriously, what the hell are they feeding to these elves?

Our first move, and Scotty retaliates:

Hey man you're doing quite well this time, actually contributing to the game and all that.

Black Knight blocks, and Ka-pows the line elf

Quick! Somebody show him more 1960s Batman clips!

We want the rear guard to be free, but it's a no go

RE-ROLL! This one is a good punch, and the elf is stunned.

Mammothtank advances to scare the crap outta the curtaining elf

High elf: "Hey, you're supposed to stay where you are when we make an elf curtain"


You just have to take one for the team once again (actually, you'd need to do this anyways against human player, he'd foul the lying Scourge)

Come to think of it, Spoon, go help Scourge

You would, wouldn't you?

Seeing his position being a bit *ahem* compromised by the last two actions, Swashmebuckle ventures into the relative safety of the pitch borderline. Hey at least there's several orcs between you and the elves!

Scourge takes it like a champ

Oh the elves are playing the dodge game again

... well that didn't last (AI RE-ROLL)

"We have a maximum movement of eight squares, eight squares to score, two turns left, it's bright and we're not wearing sunglasses"

Hit it!

« Last Edit: September 12, 2016, 03:14:42 pm by Mika »
Relaxed movement is always more effective than forced movement.


Offline Mika

  • 28
Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
HLPBowlers vs Incandescent Wings (High Elves), Game 2, Post #5

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Since the elves have reinforced the direct path too strong to attack, even the Orcs have to find an alternative.

Being at the right hand border line, the brilliant strategy is now to extend towards left.

This requires two blocks to succeed, boyz, we do wanna smack the elves, do we? Black Dynamite, punch the lino away!

Scotty engages the Thrower

... and knocks him down, but no stun or KO. (Or injury but that seems to be too much to ask from this team)

Mammothtank follows the suit, and Goes For It. Miraculously, no fall. That 83 % man, that's gonna get us at some point.

Black Knight encloses the lower left corner of the cage

Swashmebuckle, how you feelin' about that dodge you HAVE to pull?

Astonishingly, it goes our way. The rest of the free Orcs reinforce the cage. Schnakc, go whisper your devilish plans to Spoon so he knows what to do!

He moves! He moves!

Scotty being the right hand top corner of the cage, elves blitz him. And succeed knocking him down.

...but that's pretty much ALL they managed

It's turn 8, we have to score, it was our drive on this half!

Mammothtank engages in one die block against Elf Blitzer. Come on, papa needs new pair of shoes!


With the tackling elf pushed away, we're looking at Swashmebuckle, who has to accomplish ONE dodge to score. One! With a team re-roll! Hit it man!

Que the close up to cheerleaders conveniently hopping up and down, to KO'd players (all elves wake up), and we're kicking the ball this time as we still have to play that last elven turn. Elfs scoring a one turn touchdown is highly unlikely as this requires players to be set-up in a certain way so that chain pushes can happen.

Our defensive line is to minimize the blocks while having three buff dudes on the LoS. Now it's our go to elf curtain the **** out of you!

Which turns out to be a good idea, as elfs gain a turn. Now elfs can definitely score a two turn touch down without any strange play associated. Just punch through small holes in the opposition, and run catchers deep in the defensive area. Dem riots, good, bad, who knows.

Deciding that Blackbelt is the weakest link in our line up, the elves amass players around him.

And he goes down.

It does not go well with Black Dynamite

The opponent RE-ROLLS! Dynamite is pushed instead.

It's our turn, and oh my god Spoon, lift that loincloth even a little!


Swashmebuckle reinforces the area of major blockage.

Black Dynamite answers to push with a swift punch to da head.

Rakmar blitzes the Beefcake Elf, and mercifully knocks him down.

The elves cannot manage to do anything sensible on their follow up turn, so it's HALF-TIME! Time to fetch those McMurty's!

« Last Edit: September 12, 2016, 03:16:33 pm by Mika »
Relaxed movement is always more effective than forced movement.


Offline Mika

  • 28
Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
HLPBowlers vs Incandescent Wings (high elves), Game 2, Post #6, Start of second half

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Okay okay team, you did well on da first 'alf, let'z keep da momentum!

Let's roll

We use the same defensive line-up.

Schnakc kicks the ball:

Uh Schnakc, I know you're wiv dem big guys and wanna show off, but you don't High Kick to da elves

The elves engage into a most curious formation

Apparently, take want to duke it out with Spoon. But I have a plan. We roll over them first.

Black Knight, blitz that lino! Hit him vewy woughly!

A sickening crunch is heard, and the audience is silenced to witness perhaps the first DEATH in the game.

Until the elf lifts his hand, signalling he is still alive. A young boy's voice is heard from the audience: "Cool, mama I wanna be Blood Bowl player when I grow big!"

It's the first injury Black Orc manages in this team. But it's a doozy, that line elf will not play again!

Black Knight: "I dun't alwayz hit, but when I do I hit 'em good!"

Rakmar and Scotty reinforce the gaps on the right flank, Scotty marking the beefcake elf due to his inherent block.

Spoon punches da elf and proceeds next to the ball carrier. Lookin' good boys

Perhaps I've gone too far? Well if the elves score they score, but if they are gonna do it, I want 'em do it fast!

And it's the enemy's opponent's turn

« Last Edit: September 12, 2016, 03:17:24 pm by Mika »
Relaxed movement is always more effective than forced movement.


Offline Mika

  • 28
Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
HLPBowlers vs Incandescent Wings (high elves), Game 2, Post #7

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The elves blitz Mammothtank, who blesses his armor on the way to ground.

Uh, wait WAT?!

I sort of forgot elves need only one small hole to smuggle in players to scoring range

Blackbelt is in line next.

The beefcake takes care of Scotty.

And stuns him

Come on sissies, are you Orcs or what?

The ball is carried on the left hand side, while Scourge stands firm in the line of fire.

Our first action is to mark the elf player with Swashmebuckle. Let's see how that pass is gonna work with our Thrower in the way.  :drevil:

Mammothtank takes out the blitzer. Unfortunately, he has to blitz to accomplish this, negating the blitz on the ball carrier. (I think I could've played this a bit better)

Schnakc, reinforce the hole Mammothtank left, if they go through Mammoth, they have free reign on the field.

Except, Schnakc has Stunty, which makes it easier for him to dodge through tackle zones. The bad news is, it also makes it impossible to re-roll failed dodges. Unfortunately, I forgot this part of the skill.

The rest is quite predictable, Mammoth gets blocked once again.

The ball carrier runs past our defense (laughing), and hands the ball to catcher. It fails once, but the opponent re-rolls, and succeeds.

Luckily, their reinforcements are tackled

With their re-roll spent, it's a Turnover

Naturally, Scourge blitzes the ball carrier

[Sigh] ...sometimes I wonder


 :banghead: In this case we have to take push.

Swashmebuckle, you have block, surely you can kick this loser's ass?

Oh no

Well, we've done what we can, the rest punch the **** out of any elf you can find.

No injury there

Neither there

Nor there

Blackbelt, you have one dice, what the heck, give it a roll!

Oh I see how this works now. Unfortunately, we don't have anybody else to block, and it's elven turn

Oh you slippery eel!

The elf catcher fails the Go For It and trips just before the finish line  :lol:

Understandably, it's a RE-ROLL, and

Luckily, this guy ain't coming back for this game. Or to the pitch. Ever. Again.

Such is Blood Bowl, you make on mistake and the opponent capitalizes on it. The elves make it 1-1 on their twelth turn, meaning we have effectively four turns to score the winning touchdown. That's not impossible, so we don't turn to the Orcish One Turn Touchdown Machine. Yet.

« Last Edit: September 12, 2016, 03:18:20 pm by Mika »
Relaxed movement is always more effective than forced movement.


Offline Mika

  • 28
Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
HLPBowlers vs. Incandescent Wings (High Elves), Game 2, Post #8

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Da boyz are back at offense

The elf kick throw goes out of bounds, resulting in a touchback!

Scotty, you're it now! Dynamite, secure the cage left corner!

Well secured, lad!

Evvybody advance!

Seriously?! Four blocks and no stuns or knockouts?!

I'm gunna start thinking that you're sum sort of tree-luvin' hippie orcs!

The elves push Tukost. Uh-oh, I think where this is going...

Well Tukost, at least you absorbed their blitz, so there's that.

Rakmar bites the dust as well. We're outnumbering them and high elves are outbashing us? High Elves??!!

With their curtain once again in place, we just have to punch through their defenses with raw forces.

Scourge, go!

Well done! It's a knock out when we really need it!

Spoon amazingly manages to move forward secure a loose cage in the middle of the pitch.

Scotty, go go go! All you need is a single Go For It, and we have a re-roll!

He falls. RE-ROLL!

He falls again.  :eek:

SCOTTY! You may have cost us the game here!


« Last Edit: September 12, 2016, 03:19:15 pm by Mika »
Relaxed movement is always more effective than forced movement.


Offline Mika

  • 28
Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
HLPBowlers vs Incandescent Wings (High Elves), Game 2, Post #9

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I'm starting to think praising Scotty in the first half was a bit premature.

The elves, naturally, pick-up the ball. However, feeling threatened, their lineman retreats to assist in a block against Black Orc, and fails a dodge. That's their last re-roll gone!

Blackbelt gets blocked

Aaaand it's our turn. Luckily.

Please please please Spoon get to that spot now!

He does. Scourge, now go assist against the Elf!

Scotty, get up on your ass and blitz dat elf! You got the only block, Mammoth is needed for the ball retrieval!

He partially compensates for his earlier incompetence.

Mammothtank, go get the ball! (No re-rolls on either side here...)

And fails

The good news is that Elves don't have players in scoring range, so we're looking at a draw at this point. All due to Scotty's incompetence failing two 83%s in a row (that's about 3 % probability right there).

The elves block Blackbelt Jones again.

What? Say what again?

Oh nonono, he ain't gonna miss next game, Apothecary have a look at him!

Whew, it's nothing but a flesh wound.

Black Dynamite gets blocked - with the Apothecary being spent, watch him die

No? Well, it's our turn then. The very last one.

Scotty, get rid of your feat ineptitude and get rid of that elf right there!

It's a push, but push is all we need!

Mammoth, you think you can manage that this time?

We won  :eek2: 

Click here for match outcome
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Our most valuable player was Scotty, and Mammothtank levels up!

Mammothtank learns the Tackle skill, which has two effects. First, it treats Defender Stumbles result of the Dodging players as a Defender Down. This means you'll be a much better offensive weapon against the ball carriers as they tend to have Dodge. Additionally, the automatic Dodge re-roll will not anymore work in your tackle zones!

The alternative was Mighty Blow, but Tackle I feel, is more useful at this point.

Hint for the next time:

I'm hungry, anybody up for a rat-on-a-stick?
« Last Edit: September 12, 2016, 03:20:54 pm by Mika »
Relaxed movement is always more effective than forced movement.


Offline Mika

  • 28
Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Oh, and given we won 90 000 in cash, now there's a position open for a Blitzer. Any takers?
Relaxed movement is always more effective than forced movement.


Offline Mika

  • 28
Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Sorry for the break, but I've been busy with 12 hour work days.

HLPBowlers vs Mouldy Wanderers (Skaven), Game 3, Post #1

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So, we goin' aginst da ratz boyz. We ain't got anuda blitza yet, but he'll come.

An if sumone sayz sumthin abuut coachin' unda influence, he'z gunna be benched for da match!

Let's have a lookie on da ratz team

Mouldy Wanderers, huh? Nuffin' worrisome

When playin' aginst da ratz, punch dem Gutter runners. Punch dem good, but it ain't eazy since dem can Dodge [Essentially a free re-roll should a dodge out of tackle zone fail]

Sinz we be betta, ratz got sum assistance, beer babes and extra re-roll

Look at dem ratz standing

We win da kick-off and of courz receive. Sum fan threw a rock and stunned Black Knight. Bang! Straight to da hed! But he iz OK.

So, our right flank iz weak

Scotty, forwards!

Scourge punches next, but haz nuffin

Blackbelt, you da next

Still no injuriez on da ratz

Spoon, you go. Yes, you.

Where da competent playaz? Dynamite, go ahed

So our ball is sumwhat secure, but it ain't da best secu-ri-ty on da right side.

Dem ratz are tryin' da flank on da right! Tackle 'em! Tackle 'em good!

[Astonishingly, the Gutter Runner failed the dodge re-roll, 3 % chance for that happening again.]

Da gobbo needs points, go pick up da ball!

He fails! RE-ROLL!! And succeeds.

Start clear way for da score!

Dynamite, he'z got Dodge, you've gotta roll clear punches

Scourge, show 'em whatcha got

Dat's not showin

Scourge! Scourge! (yes, you heard that in the voice that says Snake! Snake!)

Oh he'z just badly hurt. Get back up here you horrible little orc!


Da ratz block Blackbelt - and it iz Both Down! Seeing distinct lack of da BLOCK skill here boyz

While he goez down, he manages to punch da rat to da head and injures him! (Whooooo, first blood!)

Good work lad

« Last Edit: September 12, 2016, 03:22:11 pm by Mika »
Relaxed movement is always more effective than forced movement.


Offline Mika

  • 28
Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
HLPBowlers vs Mouldy Wanderers (Skaven), Game 3, Post #2

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Schnakc considers hiz options and proceeds left next to da beefcakes. He'z not shure of hiz frail continous existhance with Blitza who fail half dem time.

Scotty punches Gutter Runner. Go Orc!

Rakmar assists Tukost on block against da rat throwa, but nuffin' happens

Dem ratz manage to knock out Black Dynamite

Whadda hell orcs, dem ratz are kicking yoo ass??!!

Mammoth takez one fur da team too.

Our turn

Mammoth uses pro-por-thio-nal responze, and manages only a push.

Scotty goes to assist against that throwa, and makes the dodge!

But the turn is uneventful

Dem ratz attack Spoon!

Wat da hell? What sorta Norwegian lemmingz are dem?

[For those who don't know, a Norwegian lemming is a rodent that is known for its aggressive behavior, being itself hamster-sized and attacking humans. Talk about choosing your battles.)

Dem rest are pushes. Our turn.

Spoon, get back up, yer needed hier!

Ooooooh no, sumbody show da troll how da roll on hiz tummy and get back up

Clear the cage front, dem ratz cannot remain close!

Tukost, secure da left side



Our sixth (sixth!) turn starts with Orcs in dizarray, and prone.

Dem ratz are tuf. We hafta go forward, we cannae win otherwize.
We re-organize dem orcs to da right hand side, but no punching can be commenced.

Dem ratz punch Mammoth

Seventh (!) turn does not look good

Dem ratz are swarming! Dem are everywhere! Dem ratz has dem tactics, dat's elfie screen.

We hafta run! Desperate measurez now! Spoon, BLITZ!

SPOON: "Okay-dokie-dokie!"

Wat, Spoon did it?

He managed a push with a three dice block. [Sigh] Grats, it waz only a weakling Gutter Runner that stopped da onslaught dis time

Everyone follow Spoon! You too Schnakc. Don't look at me, just run! (The reason gobbo has to go to a blockable position is to allow him to reach the score line next turn. Otherwise we are looking at Spoon throwing the gobbo)

Ratz blitz Schnakc

And it's a push. Luckily. Dis means he cannae reach the score line dis turn runnin. Spoon haz to throw him to score line. Stop gulpin' Schnakc. I know Spoon is hungry, but he will nae eat ya lad right Spoon? Right?

Swashmebuckle clears the way for the troll

Anyone wanna calculate the odds of this succeeding and Gobbo not being eaten? Also note that this will not be a score anyways, it's one tile short.

Do eet anywayz. (Reason being that perhaps AI derps and blocks Schnakc from a direction that results him being pushed over the score line. It's a long shot, but it's all we got)

Spoon throws

And drops the goblin where he was picked up [Sigh]

Blackbelt Blocks

Good fer ya lad

And itz half-time

« Last Edit: September 12, 2016, 03:22:55 pm by Mika »
Relaxed movement is always more effective than forced movement.


Offline Spoon

  • 212
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Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
I think I did really well not eating him. That has got to be an accomplishment

[02:42] <@Axem> spoon somethings wrong
[02:42] <@Axem> critically wrong
[02:42] <@Axem> im happy with these missions now
[02:44] <@Axem> well
[02:44] <@Axem> with 2 of them


Offline Mika

  • 28
Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
HLPBowlers vs Mouldy Wanderers (Skaven), Game 3, Post #3

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Swashmebuckle kicks off da second round

Oh Snap!

We start from dis: dem ratz are pushin' forward, but no-one fell.

We shall attempt breakthrough on the right side, and if it doezn't work, punch everyone

No Scotty, dat's Gutter Runner, yer primary target. Dat ain't good enugh. RE-ROLL!

And it's a dodge or a push. Scotty!

Blackbelt blocks...

...and injures anotha playa.

Itz dem ratz turn, but nuffin' interesting happen'

Mammoth blitzes gutta runna

But da rat iz OK. Dangit. But at least orc is there right in da ratz cage (was actually a bit surprised to see computer do a rat cage. Skaven do not rely on caging - they tend to die if they do)

Black Knight blocks

And ends up to da ground, much to da delight of da grinnin' rodent


Scotty is forcibly removed from position by a blitzing rodent

Gutta runna does wut he does best

Our turn

Spoon, I trust you to remove dat tackling playa so that Rakmar haz free reign to blitz

It's a push. [Sigh]

Rakmar dodge anyways, blitz dat rat!

t's a push. Well at least dat rat is in tackle zone

Nuffing interesting happenz in our turn, ratz go.

Yeah, there's dat. Come on fail a dodge!

Dem ratz re-roll!

And pass

Luckily, da Stormvermin does not catch, and drops da ball.


« Last Edit: September 12, 2016, 03:23:48 pm by Mika »
Relaxed movement is always more effective than forced movement.


Offline Mika

  • 28
Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
HLPBowlers vs Mouldy Wanderers (Skaven), Game 3, Post #4

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Naturally, dem orcs bunch up next to da ball

But the rodentz are fast, so we have not too many playas to reach

In-ter-rupt the reinforcements, Swashmebuckle blocks da Stormvermin

Dem ratz flank agin with gutta runna

Wiv gobbo and Rakmar guardin' da ball, it ain't easy pick-up (50 %)

Dem ratz re-roll, and it workz. Ratz manage nothing else this turn.

Dat gutta runna MUST go down, he'll surely score next turn!

It works (amazingly enough)

Mammothtank blocks next, and rolls double skullz. God damnit, this is epidemic

Re-roll! It works, and Schnakc now haz to pick-up da ball without re-roll. (And this time, we only have one re-roll left!)

Strangely, that works too. Stunty fella dat Schnakc

Rakmar, reinforce right flank right now!

Dis is the last sight of Black Dynamite before he lost consciousness

No permanent injury

Dem ratz flank, but Schnakc is a Stunty fella, and punchin' 'im needs sum luck. Dem ratz has not it.

Mammothtank revs dat blitzin' engine, and presses forwards, Stormvermins be damned!

Rakmar takes down the approaching gutta runna, and Schnakc moves ahead.

Just one more step lil gobbo, one more step and you are safe! He manages to get next to Spoon

Tukost haz to get rid of da gutta runna, dat's one assist less if he does it

Both down


Dem ratz blitz Swashmebuckle

Today's interesting perspective is brought to you by the one and only sports helmet cam GoProne! Wave to mama Swashmebuckle!

Our 15th turn does not start well, but at least gobbo is sandwiched between Spoon and Blackie.

Acknow-ledging the fact dis is da 15th turn, and dat orcs run slow, da only option remaining is to throw da goblin forwards. If he makes it, itz touchdown and Orcs win!
Spoon: "Me so hungry!"

Yes, he grabbed the gobbo, threw him far enough, but the goblin landed on his head. Re-roll! And fail.

Understandably, it's a Turnover

Dem ratz do nothing interestin', pick up da ball and cage far on dem side. Being round 16, dis game is a draw, gobbo cannae grab ball and run to finish with so many ratz.

Itz revenge time!

Tukost, you look like a fella who ain't afraid to put the boot where it hurts. Go kick the gutta runna!

Sadly, no injury to insult.

Spoon whaddaya say about movin' bit forward?

Spoon: "Uhhhmmmm?"

Click here for match outcome

Hidden Text: Show
So ends our game against the Mouldy Wanderers, with equal disappointment on both sides

Our only shining beacon was Blackbelt Jones, who injured three rats, AND acquired also the most valuable player award. So he almost levelled twice on a single game.

Dat's the spirit boyz. We gunna have sum lockerroom talk about getting beaten up by dem ratz. I'm shure you'll do betta next time.

Blackbelt Jones levels with Block skill. He ain't gonna get pushed down as easily anymore. Strength would've been more appropriate for the all-star rookie.


So there you have it ladies and gentlemen, playing Blood bowl under influence is an awful idea. I mean it was only one beer bottle (8 %), but my performance was noticeably degraded.

Also, that amount of white skulls in the match.

Our next game seems to be against the Bretonnians
« Last Edit: September 12, 2016, 03:25:57 pm by Mika »
Relaxed movement is always more effective than forced movement.

Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Ow. Not expect so much hurty. Thought be more punchy.


Offline Mika

  • 28
Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
Ow. Not expect so much hurty. Thought be more punchy.

Well you were only Badly Hurt which means you can't play in the same game again, but will be fine for the next ones.

The probability of them breaking your armor is 1/6, so every sixth block can possibly hurt. When it happens that the armor breaks, then the probability that you'll get a stun is 21/36, for a knock out that is 25% and for an injury that is 17 %. And when the injury happens, the probability it will be just badly hurt is 50 %, miss next game is 17 %, permanent stat decrease is 17 % and death is 17 %.

So in your case, the probability of rolling double skulls at that phase was 4/36, probability of armor break 17 %, probability of injury roughly 17 %, and that it happened to be Badly hurt was 50 %. So the probability for this chain of events was 1.5 per mille. Feeling lucky, eh? The best chain of events I've seen at this point was around 0.05 per mille if I recall... Hilarity almost always ensues when something so improbable happens  :lol:

This game will quite handily demonstrate that per mille level probabilities are indeed probabilities which can and will happen. Just when you least expect them, and will thus typically lose you a game. The internet is full of horror stories of rolling double skulls and re-rolling it to another double skulls, affectionally dubbed quad-skulling. That's about 1.2 % probability right there. Some have actually achieved triple skulls with a re-roll, so that's more like 1.4 per mille right there... And it's just because of these events which is why it is also awesome!

Spoon failing to eat that goblin (twice) was quite astonishing given his track record of failing even standing up.  :lol:

And now it's MATCH TIME!
Relaxed movement is always more effective than forced movement.


Offline Mika

  • 28
Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
HLPBowlers vs Brave Shields (Brettonians), Game 4, Post #1

So the Bretonnian team is made of knight armor toting nobles and peasants, who have likely been ordered to volunteer for blood bowl gaming by their landlords. They posses Fend skill, which is mighty annoying as it prevents following the peasant. Pitchforks and all that I suppose. The peasants are quite useless, and serve only as cannon fodder. However, Blockers and Blitzers in the Bretonnian team are somewhat more capable people, having for example Dauntless, which allows them to blitz somebody stronger than them with equal strength. That skill may fail at any moment.

Hidden Text: Show

This is what they look like:

Brave Shields, eh? Let's see how brave your shields will then be!

Since our team is more valuable, they get compensated and hire a star player Dolfar and Bloodweiser Babes.

The team representation shows the sad state of affairs with the front line peasants.

Dolfar looks like this:

Note that he is an elf, and has pointy ears. Punch him on sight!

We win the kick off (again, we have been amazingly lucky so far)

We strategize such a start up formation. The plan: overrun everybody.

The elven reinforcements has some problem adjusting his arm strength to the ball, and throws too high. This allows Swashmebuckle enough time to run UNDER the ball and catch it barehanded.

Swashmebuckle runs forwards and we cage up in the middle. Classic move.

Given his recent performance and block skill Blackbelt goes first. If you wished you got to go first, acquire the block skill. You've already been given several chances so don't look at me.

It's a push.

Mammoth revs that Blitzing engine again, and floors enemy opponent Blitzer. Way to go man, but next time an injury perhaps?

Black knight engages on the right flank, and knocks out a blocker. Good work!

No other actions of interest took place (well there were other blocks resulting mainly pushes)

Brets recover from the initial fury of our assault, and decide to blitz Tukost.

Tukost is punched down, but he is fine otherwise.

Hey Spoon yer free, clear up a line in front of you!

Spoon: Uhhhhhmmmmm? Now did he sayz ta blitz or ta block?

Black Dynamite advances with a push, and it is Scotty's turn to rev that good-old-blitzing engin'

He manages a push. Gratz.

Scourge, how ya feelin' about that block?

Daymn son! Talk about getting frustrated in the injured pit, so he wents that frustration to a Bretonnian's jaw. Broke it, and the guy misses this and the next game! Good job!

It's a good place to end our turn, and Scotty is the first (and last) in the line of fire

He's down, but not out!

To summarize the next moves, we from this position

To this, where you can see Black Dynamite in his favorite action, punching the same Blocker to the face once again. Man, I'm starting to think the blocker likes this!

Once that is done, Spoon is clear to move to close the bottom part of the cage.

On their behalf, opponent returns the favor to Black Dynamite and knocks him down.
Meanwhile, they also try to attack Tukost.

Ha ha! Turnover!

« Last Edit: September 12, 2016, 03:27:11 pm by Mika »
Relaxed movement is always more effective than forced movement.


Offline Mika

  • 28
Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
HLPBowlers vs Brave Shields (Bretonnians), Game 4, Post #2

Hidden Text: Show
Forwards said the old lady in the middle of a snow pile! (Yes, that's a Finnish proverb about forwards going attitude)

Blackbelt Jones goes first (he has block, and you don't, remember?)

Mammoth goes next, and double skulls

Oh no no no no, no you won't! RE-ROLL! (2 left)

Well at least it isn't a turnover.

The reason he pushes is because the enemy opposition has Wrestle. That would cancel the block, and would place both prone on the ground. Since I want the cage to remain intact where Mammoth is, he selects push and advances.

Scourge goes next

Followed by Mad Max

Oh, did I forgot to introduce Mad Max? He's our new blitzer, whom I took the liberty of acquiring given the recent performance against the rats.

Spoon advances next. With a blitz. I know.

I'm certainly happy he was assisted, that's a double skull for a three dice block!

Our fourth turn leaves the enemy in disarray with half of their team lying prone in the ground

That's more like it Orcs!

Let me next introduce the most heroic sequence of actions of the game by a single player.

Brets blitz Scotty
The result is booming clang as both blitzers are astonished to find the opponent still in front of them. Scotty grins.

Then he gets blocked, and since he has block and the lineman peasant doesn't, Scotty is pushed

Finally, it takes a star player to hit a direct hit to knock Scotty down. Down, but not out!

That's right, Scotty absorbed three blocks before succumbing.

Our turn starts with rather tight formation around the cage.

Scotty is not afraid of the humies that needed three blocks to get him down, and revs that blitzing engine. Blackbelt Jones sees what Scotty is planning, and runs to assist.

Bang! The blitzer is down, and Scotty feels vindicated. He has done his share for this game at least!

Scourge and Black Knight team up on the left hand flank victims players

Scourge: "I got an idee, help me punch dis one!"
Black Knight: "You da boss!"

Mad Max advances to re-form the cage deep in the opposition defense zone

Spoon also contributes and pushes forwards

And that's our turn #5 right there neatly wrapped up.

Brets blitz Mammoth tank, and Mammoth falls! To the ground that is, but got you worried.

Then again, that's about all they could do. Our go #6, and for some incomprehensible reason stood up their players at the border of the pitch.

 :drevil:  :drevil:  :drevil:

Black Knight goes first

Fans, meet Dagohert the Scarface, Dagohert the Scarface, meet the fans!

Scourge, your go!

Yes, that's two crowd surfs in a row.  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:
Unfortunately, no injury. How does crowd surf mechanics work you ask? Well, it works by skipping the armor break roll completely. That's right, it's a direct injury roll, with a direct 1/6 chance of injury. So stay out of those borderlines boys and girls! Unfortunately, the crowd surf does not add star player points, but it makes winning the game easier as the opposition slowly runs out of players. With a better chance of injuring those who remain on the pitch.  ;7

Mad Max clears the upper right hand corner of the blitzer who felled Mammoth

While Scotty clears the lower right hand corner with the aid of Black Dynamite.

Spoon, push the guy closer to the border!

Spoon: "Uhhhhhmmmmm! What doez push meen?"

And that's pretty much our Turn #6

As their first action Brets blitz Schnakc who had been reinforcing the upper left hand corner of the cage

The result is not pretty

Schnakc lives, but with a niggling injury that will follow him the rest of his life. His knee is now damaged, and will add +1 to any injury roll against him in the future (oooh boy, this is gonna get fun)

Dammit Spoon! (When he goes Really Stupid, he also forgets to tackle anybody leaving his tackle zones)

Dolfar tries to dodge away from the cage, but Mad Max is ever vigilant


Nope, not this time you won't! Turnover

« Last Edit: September 12, 2016, 03:28:06 pm by Mika »
Relaxed movement is always more effective than forced movement.


Offline Mika

  • 28
Re: Let's play Blood Bowl 2
HLPBowlers vs Brave Shields (Bretonnians), Game 4, Post #3

Hidden Text: Show
So lemme see, we find ourselves with an enemy in a contact to the ball carrier.

Blackbelt, would you kindly take care of the pesky peasant?

Good enough

Scotty, would you kindly remove that blitzer from my sight?

Ooooh boy

Well, if he wasn't injured that certainly at least scared the crap out of him!

Oh, and can I introduce another interesting pair here in the lower part of the pitch with no relevance whatsoever to the game.

On the left you have Charles de Couronte, a crusader weighing 200 pounds, and on the right, we have Black Dynamite, a Black Orc weighing some 400 pounds!

The result can be called predictable.  :lol:

Seriously, these two guys have been at it since turn #4, with this being the first punch that got through!

That would make our turn #7

Brets blitz Mammothtank

Who goes down. AGAIN.

Peasant blocks Mad Max now that Mammothtank is out.

Tehehehehe --> RE-ROLL!

And it's a push - good

It's turn #8, and we need to punch through that Bret defense now!

Blackbelt Jones demonstrates how to punch to the same peasant that tried to knock out Mad max

Supposedly that was a good lesson

The way being cleared, Swashmebuckle could pass the ball to a Blitzer, but unfortunately they are marked....

Screw it


So we have to defend against the Brets last eight turn. They cannot score unless some creative chainpushing is employed. Luckily the AI ain't that smart, so we just have to weather the storm.

Spoon, Tukost and Raknar, go to the line of scrimmage. You are the most sacrifiable best players there. (Spoon has regeneration and can regenerate an injury, while who cares about the rookie linemen?)

Well, our defense is already perfect, so there's that.

The linos fall, but they are only stunned.

This little incident, though, was quite hilarious to observe:

Brets one die Spoon, and roll skull. Spoon responds with a swift punch to head, and it's a turnover.

Half time, beer and hot dogs!

« Last Edit: September 12, 2016, 03:28:49 pm by Mika »
Relaxed movement is always more effective than forced movement.