Author Topic: [WIP] Shattered Stars: A Deepness Within  (Read 115099 times)

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Offline Bryan See

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Re: [WIP] Shattered Stars: A Deepness Within
If you want to make it good, you have to write one. That requires you to have a story first.

What I don't understand is why is this thing set in the ME universe if.you decide to drop all references?
Don't worry, the Wiki has pages on story development.

@Nightmare, this mod is set in the 2018 Mortal Engines movie universe if I decide to drop all references because the events of the movie takes place locally on Earth, not in space. What happened on that planet doesn't affect any event in space whatsoever. Spoilers ahead.

Spoiler:
Just after the ending of the Mortal Engines movie, Earth is attacked by some extraterrestrial invasion (as predicted by Romo Lampkin and Cylon Ellen Tigh more than 150,000 years ago regarding setting the Cylon Centurions free won't cause another holocaust in the BSG finale episode Daybreak, Part II) sometime after the last scene of the film. The invasion results in not only humanity being destroyed to the very last individual and their homeworld be ground to nothing but dust, as with the case of an alternate Earth being depicted in AoA where Admiral Bei remarked that "our Earth dead and our race reduced to ashes," but also the total destruction of every human-made object and artifact in order to eradicate human history.

That would serve as the basis of the story. Isn't it?
Bryan See - My FreeSpace Wiki User Page (Talk, Contributions)

Campaigns:
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Re: [WIP] Shattered Stars: A Deepness Within

@Nightmare, this mod is set in the 2018 Mortal Engines movie universe if I decide to drop all references because the events of the movie takes place locally on Earth, not in space. What happened on that planet doesn't affect any event in space whatsoever. Spoilers ahead.

Spoiler:
Just after the ending of the Mortal Engines movie, Earth is attacked by some extraterrestrial invasion (as predicted by Romo Lampkin and Cylon Ellen Tigh more than 150,000 years ago regarding setting the Cylon Centurions free won't cause another holocaust in the BSG finale episode Daybreak, Part II) sometime after the last scene of the film. The invasion results in not only humanity being destroyed to the very last individual and their homeworld be ground to nothing but dust, as with the case of an alternate Earth being depicted in AoA where Admiral Bei remarked that "our Earth dead and our race reduced to ashes," but also the total destruction of every human-made object and artifact in order to eradicate human history.

That would serve as the basis of the story. Isn't it?

I mean... by that logic, SS could also take place in the Lord of the Rings universe.  There are no spaceships in Lord of the Rings, and there are no references to Lord of the Rings in the mod.

Is the only thing you're taking from the ME universe that "there was no human spaceflight?"  Because if so, then there is literally no reason to mention ME.  You can just say "in an alternate universe where humans never developed spaceflight."

And no, that's still just background, not the basis of the story.  Your story could be something like "the player takes the role of a pilot in "player_faction" as they "important_plot thing" while "enemy_faction" tries to "some_other_important_plot_thing."  At first the "player_faction" (pick one: wins/loses), when the "enemy_faction" "plot_detail", but after "plot_detail" by the player, "conclusion_to_plot_thing."  Fill in the blanks.

Put another way: pretend you're in the SS universe, and answer these questions:  Who are you?  What are you trying to do, and why?  Answer those questions, and you've got the start of your story.

 

Offline Bryan See

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Re: [WIP] Shattered Stars: A Deepness Within

@Nightmare, this mod is set in the 2018 Mortal Engines movie universe if I decide to drop all references because the events of the movie takes place locally on Earth, not in space. What happened on that planet doesn't affect any event in space whatsoever. Spoilers ahead.

Spoiler:
Just after the ending of the Mortal Engines movie, Earth is attacked by some extraterrestrial invasion (as predicted by Romo Lampkin and Cylon Ellen Tigh more than 150,000 years ago regarding setting the Cylon Centurions free won't cause another holocaust in the BSG finale episode Daybreak, Part II) sometime after the last scene of the film. The invasion results in not only humanity being destroyed to the very last individual and their homeworld be ground to nothing but dust, as with the case of an alternate Earth being depicted in AoA where Admiral Bei remarked that "our Earth dead and our race reduced to ashes," but also the total destruction of every human-made object and artifact in order to eradicate human history.

That would serve as the basis of the story. Isn't it?

I mean... by that logic, SS could also take place in the Lord of the Rings universe.  There are no spaceships in Lord of the Rings, and there are no references to Lord of the Rings in the mod.

Is the only thing you're taking from the ME universe that "there was no human spaceflight?"  Because if so, then there is literally no reason to mention ME.  You can just say "in an alternate universe where humans never developed spaceflight."

And no, that's still just background, not the basis of the story.  Your story could be something like "the player takes the role of a pilot in "player_faction" as they "important_plot thing" while "enemy_faction" tries to "some_other_important_plot_thing."  At first the "player_faction" (pick one: wins/loses), when the "enemy_faction" "plot_detail", but after "plot_detail" by the player, "conclusion_to_plot_thing."  Fill in the blanks.

Put another way: pretend you're in the SS universe, and answer these questions:  Who are you?  What are you trying to do, and why?  Answer those questions, and you've got the start of your story.

What I mean that... Shattered Stars doesn't take place in the Lord of the Rings universe, but Mortal Engines (the 2018 film itself). In that universe, humanity has decimated themselves in a "Sixty Minute War," and forced to live on roaming cities that consume each other on a desolate Earth (see image below). What I can say about this?



And what of the last scene where Tom and Hester fly off into the sky to travel in the Jenny Haniver to see the world? They got attacked when Earth is hit by some alien race (as predicted by Romo Lampkin and Cylon Ellen Tigh more than 150,000 years ago regarding setting the Cylon Centurions free won't cause another holocaust in the BSG finale episode Daybreak, Part II) sometime after the last scene of the film. This invasion results in not only humanity being destroyed to the very last individual and their homeworld be ground to nothing but dust, as with the case of an alternate Earth being depicted in AoA where Admiral Bei remarked that "our Earth dead and our race reduced to ashes," but also the total destruction of every human-made object and artifact in order to eradicate human history. What is being called? I want to retain the Mortal Engines movie universe setting in this mod.

These two are the background. I took the story which could be something like "the player takes the role of a pilot in "player_faction" as they "important_plot thing" while "enemy_faction" tries to "some_other_important_plot_thing."  At first the "player_faction" (pick one: wins/loses), when the "enemy_faction" "plot_detail", but after "plot_detail" by the player, "conclusion_to_plot_thing," or answer these questions:  Who are you?  What are you trying to do, and why?  Answer those questions, and you've got the start of your story.
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Offline Spoon

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Re: [WIP] Shattered Stars: A Deepness Within
The doctor said I can't read this thread anymore, it puts an absolutely unhealthy strain on my liver.
I'm apparently a mortal and my engine can't handle the abuse anymore.
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Re: [WIP] Shattered Stars: A Deepness Within
I took the story which could be something like "the player takes the role of a pilot in "player_faction" as they "important_plot thing" while "enemy_faction" tries to "some_other_important_plot_thing."  At first the "player_faction" (pick one: wins/loses), when the "enemy_faction" "plot_detail", but after "plot_detail" by the player, "conclusion_to_plot_thing," or answer these questions:  Who are you?  What are you trying to do, and why?  Answer those questions, and you've got the start of your story.

Ehm... you should ask these questions yourself...

The doctor said I can't read this thread anymore, it puts an absolutely unhealthy strain on my liver.
I'm apparently a mortal and my engine can't handle the abuse anymore.

This, combined with the post quoted at the top somehow reminds me of the conspiracy theory that a certain person here is not entirely human...

Just ignore Bryan See. We're not even sure it's actually a human being. It ignored Turing Test questions posed to it in another thread and also one of the most well known questions of the Voight-Kampf assessment from Blade Runner as well.

 
Re: [WIP] Shattered Stars: A Deepness Within
Whelp.  I tried.

 

Offline Bryan See

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Re: [WIP] Shattered Stars: A Deepness Within
I am trying to make good here.

For Shattered Stars, it could be like: Some time after the last scene of the 2018 Mortal Engines film, the player takes the role of the Shivans as they exterminate various races that strive beyond their ordained place in the cosmic order. At first, the Shivans suffer setbacks when aliens band together as caretakers under Vishnu and the Vishnans, but after a journey from other universes in search of a deepness, they restore the broken trinity, which is connected to them.

Shattered Stars is set in the same universe as the 2018 Mortal Engines film.
Bryan See - My FreeSpace Wiki User Page (Talk, Contributions)

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Offline z64555

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Re: [WIP] Shattered Stars: A Deepness Within
Bryan, you seem to be trying to cherry pick ideas and tropes that appeal to you without understanding how they work.  The best analogy that I can come up with to describe your behavior is like trying to make a house out of Lego Bricks, Megablocks, Lincoln Logs, Erector Set pieces, Play Dough, and some Stoffer's Chocolate Cake Mix.

Although they have some similarities between each product, they are in no way designed to work together, nor are they good building material for what you are trying to make.  They each work well enough with their own pieces to form some object or story arc, but, again, they cannot interface with each other.

  Expanding on my analogy, Lego Bricks and Megablocks are the two most similar products, but they are completely different scale and will not connect to each other.  The best you can hope to get is to have a bunch of Lego's jammed on one of the Megablocks and hope nothing will break apart at the seams.

  Next, we try to shoehorn the Lincoln Logs on. uh. well. Ok, maybe we can jam it on top of the Megablocks? No, that barely fits on there, so you have to basically balance your Logs on the Bricks/Blocks structure and hope it doesn't tip over.

Now you try to put on the nice spinny do-dads from the Erector set, but you've already added too much to the structure and they won't fit, so instead of the machine screws and nuts normally used to hold it together, you resort to using a power drill to force in some wood screws.  Thus damagaing the Bricks, Blocks, and/or Logs that you're trying to attach the Erector set to.

Ah, but the structure is still a bit wobbly an the Logs keep trying to fall off, so you mash some Play Dough that you had in the little plastic cans for over a decade to try to glue the Logs back on, but the Dough is too dry and won't stay put and so you try mixing some white glue in with the Dough to make it sticky again.  Which, seems to work but you can't use the Dough for anything else now.

Finally, to try to make the entire thing appealing you buy a new box of Cake mix, throw in all the ingredient of the mix, swish it around a bit with a fork and put it in the fridge (completely ignoring the fine instructions on the back on how to make the cake), and then decide to toss it in the freezer to try to make a cake pop-sickle thing before finally placing your previously made Chimera of a house on top of the cake pop-sickle which promptly defrosts and leaves a suspiciously looking mud.


Right. So.

The point I've tried to make here is that you are damaging the franchises and stories that you are trying to idolize with your clumsy footsteps to whatever it is you're trying to make.

Now, what you should be doing is making up a story that uses the themes and tropes from your sources, not trying to incorporate them entirely.  You can have characters and settings similar to your sources, but you can't have them exactly the same character otherwise you have to bring in all the constraints and existing story line of the source setting.  Simply placing the events of your story in the far future or distant past is not acceptable!

In fact, what I recommend is that you try to make a short story of a few paragraphs that describes what you want to portray in your campaign.  Here's a few key points:
  • As with any story, you need at least one protagonist, at least one antagonist, and most importantly a conflict between them.
  • Protagonists and Antagonists may be individual characters, groups, or factions, in increasing size of scale.
  • The player's character(s) are always a protagonist of the story, even if they turn out to be the bad guy or anti-hero.
  • The story starts off with an introduction, which will introduce the setting of the conflict, the main protagonists, and the main antagonists, in any order.
  • Next, the body of the story progresses through the conflict, with an gradual increase in tension and intensity between the protagonists and antagonists up until the climax, at which point the protagonist prevails over the antagonist in some way or another.
  • Finally, the story is wrapped up in the summary.  Followers of the antagonists are becoming less of a threat to the protagonists, and the protagonists start to divert their attention to something else.
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Offline Galemp

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Re: [WIP] Shattered Stars: A Deepness Within
Even that much basic storytelling is a bridge too far, I think. Let me try.

Bryan, fill in these blanks.

First, _____ happens.
Then, _____ happens.
Because of these, _____ happens.

Can you do that? Can you tell us what happens in your story?
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Offline Bryan See

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Re: [WIP] Shattered Stars: A Deepness Within
The protagonist in this mod is the shivans. The Cylons/UIMS, Battura, Bosconians, Sadeen, and Vasudans are the antagonists.

Even that much basic storytelling is a bridge too far, I think. Let me try.

Bryan, fill in these blanks.

First, _____ happens.
Then, _____ happens.
Because of these, _____ happens.

Can you do that? Can you tell us what happens in your story?

Yes.

First, the Cylon/UIMS attack on the now desolate Earth happens, despite Vasudans intervention, after the very last scene of the 2018 mortal engines film.
Then, the arrival of the Shivans happens.
Because of these, the Great War happens.
« Last Edit: December 20, 2018, 12:35:25 am by Bryan See »
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Offline Novachen

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Re: [WIP] Shattered Stars: A Deepness Within
I took the story which could be something like "the player takes the role of a pilot in "player_faction" as they "important_plot thing" while "enemy_faction" tries to "some_other_important_plot_thing."  At first the "player_faction" (pick one: wins/loses), when the "enemy_faction" "plot_detail", but after "plot_detail" by the player, "conclusion_to_plot_thing," or answer these questions:  Who are you?  What are you trying to do, and why?  Answer those questions, and you've got the start of your story.

Ehm... you should ask these questions yourself...

Well, i noticed that several times, that Bryan simple quotes parts of posts without any reason or without any understanding what he is quoting actually.

The doctor said I can't read this thread anymore, it puts an absolutely unhealthy strain on my liver.
I'm apparently a mortal and my engine can't handle the abuse anymore.

 :lol:
But so true.

This, combined with the post quoted at the top somehow reminds me of the conspiracy theory that a certain person here is not entirely human...

Just ignore Bryan See. We're not even sure it's actually a human being. It ignored Turing Test questions posed to it in another thread and also one of the most well known questions of the Voight-Kampf assessment from Blade Runner as well.

Indeed. It is unfortunately very strange sometimes.


Bryan, fill in these blanks.

First, _____ happens.
Then, _____ happens.
Because of these, _____ happens.

Can you do that? Can you tell us what happens in your story?

Yes.

First, the Cylon/UIMS attack on the now desolate Earth happens, despite Vasudans intervention, after the very last scene of the 2018 mortal engines film.
Then, the arrival of the Shivans happens.
Because of these, the Great War happens.

But in the Teaser Demo the Shivans are being invaded instead...
« Last Edit: December 20, 2018, 12:46:27 am by Novachen »
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Offline Cobra

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Re: [WIP] Shattered Stars: A Deepness Within
I am trying to make good here.

For Shattered Stars, it could be like: Some time after the last scene of the 2018 Mortal Engines film, the player takes the role of the Shivans as they exterminate various races that strive beyond their ordained place in the cosmic order. At first, the Shivans suffer setbacks when aliens band together as caretakers under Vishnu and the Vishnans, but after a journey from other universes in search of a deepness, they restore the broken trinity, which is connected to them.

Shattered Stars is set in the same universe as the 2018 Mortal Engines film.

Bryan, this is why most of us aren't taking you seriously. Every time someone asks you a question about the mod or something intrinsically related to your mod is mentioned, you launch yourself into an explanation about the grand setting of Shattered Stars and what it's a sequel to and/or who's involved in it and/or what hilariously unrelated universe it takes part in. We've read it so many times now I'm sure many of us can unwillingly recite it from memory. It's set in Mortal Engines universe. Great. Whatever. Stop talking about a movie that tanked harder than the Titanic and get on with it.

You can't "make good" here if you're doing the same thing over and over and over again. Stop flying this **** by the seat of your pants and ****ing think it through. Stop taking in the advice of the people here telling you how to succeed and doing the exact opposite. Do that and people might stop making all of this, and you, out as a joke.
« Last Edit: December 20, 2018, 02:56:07 am by Cobra »
To consider the Earth as the only populated world in infinite space is as absurd as to assert that in an entire field of millet, only one grain will grow. - Metrodorus of Chios
I wept. Mysterious forces beyond my ken had reached into my beautiful mission and energized its pilots with inhuman bomb-firing abilities. I could only imagine the GTVA warriors giving a mighty KIAAIIIIIII shout as they worked their triggers, their biceps bulging with sinew after years of Ivan Drago-esque steroid therapy and weight training. - General Battuta

 

Offline Colonol Dekker

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Re: [WIP] Shattered Stars: A Deepness Within
It's like an episode of the twilight zone.....end my pain.

:snipe:
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Offline Bryan See

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Re: [WIP] Shattered Stars: A Deepness Within
I am trying to make good here.

For Shattered Stars, it could be like: Some time after the last scene of the 2018 Mortal Engines film, the player takes the role of the Shivans as they exterminate various races that strive beyond their ordained place in the cosmic order. At first, the Shivans suffer setbacks when aliens band together as caretakers under Vishnu and the Vishnans, but after a journey from other universes in search of a deepness, they restore the broken trinity, which is connected to them.

Shattered Stars is set in the same universe as the 2018 Mortal Engines film.

Bryan, this is why most of us aren't taking you seriously. Every time someone asks you a question about the mod or something intrinsically related to your mod is mentioned, you launch yourself into an explanation about the grand setting of Shattered Stars and what it's a sequel to and/or who's involved in it and/or what hilariously unrelated universe it takes part in. We've read it so many times now I'm sure many of us can unwillingly recite it from memory. It's set in Mortal Engines universe. Great. Whatever. Stop talking about a movie that tanked harder than the Titanic and get on with it.

You can't "make good" here if you're doing the same thing over and over and over again. Stop flying this **** by the seat of your pants and ****ing think it through.
OK, OK, Acknowledged, Cobra.

As of now, I am fixing the Teaser Demo. The Teaser Demo has suffered a lot of bugs, as per Nyctaeus.

The models have been fixed so far, as missing textures have mostly resolved. Now reworking of Mission 1. Next up: Shivan Capship with Introns mission 2a.
Bryan See - My FreeSpace Wiki User Page (Talk, Contributions)

Campaigns:
FreeSpace: Reunited - Shattered Stars

Ships:
GTS Hygeia, GTT Argo, SC Raguel

 

Offline Colonol Dekker

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Re: [WIP] Shattered Stars: A Deepness Within
It needs rebuilding from the ground up.   
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GO GO DEKKER RANGERSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Offline Bryan See

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Re: [WIP] Shattered Stars: A Deepness Within
It needs rebuilding from the ground up.   
You mean the entire missions? Everything. Mission 1, Mission 2a, Mission 2b, and Mission 2c.
« Last Edit: December 20, 2018, 03:06:11 am by Bryan See »
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Offline Colonol Dekker

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Re: [WIP] Shattered Stars: A Deepness Within
Read back through everything people said, all the feedback, the download size is insane for what it is.    Package it properly and it'll be a minor fraction of that size.   Your mod is inefficient.

We're not here to do it for you.   

Research and learn how to make a tidy mod pack.
Your friendly Orestes tactical controller
GO GO DEKKER RANGERSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Offline Bryan See

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Re: [WIP] Shattered Stars: A Deepness Within
Read back through everything people said, all the feedback, the download size is insane for what it is.    Package it properly and it'll be a minor fraction of that size.   Your mod is inefficient.

We're not here to do it for you.   

Research and learn how to make a tidy mod pack.
Did Knossos has the ability to do that? I am sure it will.
Bryan See - My FreeSpace Wiki User Page (Talk, Contributions)

Campaigns:
FreeSpace: Reunited - Shattered Stars

Ships:
GTS Hygeia, GTT Argo, SC Raguel

 

Offline Cobra

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Re: [WIP] Shattered Stars: A Deepness Within
Okay, just ignore everything I just said. Don't even bother acknowledging it.

I'm done. Have fun being a laughingstock.
To consider the Earth as the only populated world in infinite space is as absurd as to assert that in an entire field of millet, only one grain will grow. - Metrodorus of Chios
I wept. Mysterious forces beyond my ken had reached into my beautiful mission and energized its pilots with inhuman bomb-firing abilities. I could only imagine the GTVA warriors giving a mighty KIAAIIIIIII shout as they worked their triggers, their biceps bulging with sinew after years of Ivan Drago-esque steroid therapy and weight training. - General Battuta

 

Offline Bryan See

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Re: [WIP] Shattered Stars: A Deepness Within
A quote from Nyctaeus just came in mind.

- Fix bugs
- Remove lags
- Fix errors, already told ya how
- Clean ****
- Rework capship command into something useful - Make Raguel faster, firing from that beam faster too
- Rework first mission. Delete 90% of the ships.
- Change all strange names like Red Cock, The Devil's Advocate, Polycephally etc. Find something called Lesser Key of Solomon. Demon names works best for shivans.
- Turret all those turretless ships.

Also, you could use "surface shields" and "Auto Spread Shields"-flags instead of putting shield meshes with 300 polies (which are basically only suitable for fighters) for capship. Recent FSO allows you to specify special impacts as well.
Code: [Select]
$Shields: 15000
 +Auto Spread: 10
 +Spread From LOD: 2
$Shield Color: 100,100,255
$Shield Impact Explosion: ShieldHit
Bryan See - My FreeSpace Wiki User Page (Talk, Contributions)

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GTS Hygeia, GTT Argo, SC Raguel