[Mika]

HLPBowlers vs Brave Shields (Bretonnians), Game 4, Post #4 (start of second half)

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Okay. It's our defensive go, so we employ elf screen defense tactics.



Swashmebuckle kicks


The opponent players are so inspired by their fans chanting that they get a free re-roll. (Mental note: buy fan factor and cheerleaders when money is available)


Mammothtank is once again in the line of fire


He goes down but is not out.

Due to lack of players, they cannot do much else, and it's our turn!

Scotty returns the favor by blitzing the front line, with the aim of getting closer to the ball carrier.


It's a push.

After several consequential punches with no injuries, we leave our turn in a situation like this were 60 % of the opposition players are down.


The opposition rightly blitzes the weakest link, Tukost.


Unfortunately for them, Tukost doesn't agree


Teeheehee

Turnover

Now that was short, even in Blood Bowl terms. We enter turn #10.

Blackbelt Jones and Black Dynamite advance and push away the opposition, relying on Spoon (gulp!) to clear out the final blocking peasant

You can do it Spoon




Man that looks scary, but no injury.

Black Knight blitzes Dolfar, he is their ball carrier after all


Bloody hell guys


Re-roll (Re-rolls left = 1)



That's better!

So lemme get this straight, the ball flew from Dolfar's elfy finger tips to the Blitzer, who could not catch it due to imposing Black Knight, and bounced it to another blitzer behind him? Brilliant!


Mammothtank runs immediately to mark the new ball carrier


And here we have to end our turn.

[Mika]

HLPBowlers vs Brave Shields (Bretonnians), Game 4, Post #5

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It is becoming a trend Mammothtank takes the brunt of opposition force, and this time is no exception





The more interesting thing is that they managed to stun Black Knight as well



On the flanks, Mad Max and Tukost get pushed once again, but no knock downs occur after this.

It's our turn, the turn number #11.

Blackbelt Jones clears the central peasant preventing our movement.


Scotty blitzes the guarding peasant away from the ball carrier.




He proceeds next to the ball carrier to annoy him more.
Spoon proceeds to assist. That's amazing, we need him there and he once does what's needed!



The next sequence of images is Black Dynamite punching a Blocker, pay close attention to the perfect fist contact angle, sending the hapless blocker flying.









It's about equally impressive they were able to see the Blocker is knocked out in mid-air. Talk about sharp eyed medical personnel here!

Our 11th turn ends with ball on the left hand flank, but with the ball carrier strictly marked with Spoon and Scotty.


Unsurprisingly, Scotty gets blitzed





He is also knocked out. Sleep well my dear prince! EDIT: Actually no, this is a stun.

The Bretonnians reinforce their positions, but due to ahem recent knock downs, they are not able to mount a big offensive play here.

We start Turn #12 by an attempted clearing of the players next to the ball carrier. Scourge goes first as his blocks can be re-rolled, while Spoon is a loner meaning re-rolls are 50 % successful.

Which turns out to be a good idea, as Scourge fails first time.


Re-roll! No way in hell will they get our entire turn cut short! (Re-rolls left = 1)



It's a push     

With other rather uneventful blocks, it's time to dodge Tukost away, he risks injury by standing next to two Bretonnians, and besides he is needed on the furball on the left.
Come on orc you can do it!



Turnover

Bretonnians get the idea of reinforcing the left hand side of the pitch as well.


Scourge gets blocked and goes down, but not out.

Bretonnians reinforce still, in an apparent attempt to block off the Blitzer guarding their ball carrier


Luckily, Swashmebuckle is awake


Re-roll!



Which fails and the player remains tackled. Good job Swashmebuckle!

Turnover

[Mika]

HLPBowlers vs Brave Shields (Bretonnians), Game 4, Post #6

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Our Turn #13 starts with the usual stuff. Block everybody.



I'd give a special mention to Swashmebuckle, who demonstrates here that even the Throwers can and will punch.




Then a couple of safer two dice blocks first


Mammothtank can finally exact some vengeance on those who have punched him so many times. He takes a risky on die block!


And stuns the ball carrier, with the ball bouncing behind the carrier.


There's not much we could do about that in this turn, so Spoon moves closer to the action.


That would be the end our turn.

The opposition starts #14 with Dolfar grabbing the ball. Spoon! You were supposed to watch out for him!



Astonishingly, the opponent then undertakes a two dice block against Raknar




Why you little lucky SOB...

Scotty takes a one die block, and the result is a push


Swashmebuckle takes a hit as well. It's a one die block. [Sigh]


Luckily, either the enemy is able to break through our defenses, so the Orcs press on!

It's turn #14

Tukost reinforces the border position to allow two die blocks towards the border.


Scotty pushes forwards


Blackbelt Jones pacifies the lower region


Black Dynamite blitzes the peasant (seriously, so many people prone in front of the ball carrier that I could not mount a blitz against the ball carrier himself)


The rest gang up on the ball carrier


Don'tcha feel safer, huh?

We end our turn with a rather optimistic outlook.

It is turn #15 for Bretonnians
Scotty and Mad Max get one died. Unfortunately so that the crowd surf is not an option on the next turn. Dangit.

Dolfar attempts to run through the gap created just at the border


But the Black Orcs are awake, and tackle him.

Opponent attempts to re-roll this, but Dolfar is a loner, and the re-roll is a failure!


Turnover

[Mika]

HLPBowlers vs Brave Shields (Bretonnians), Game 4, Post #7, the finale

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Our turn #15 is initiated with Black Knight blitzing the Blitzer



He is pushed, but this is actually an intentional result.

Black Dynamite blocks the same guy again, and knocks him down.



Scotty engages the ball carrier himself.


But the result is a push. (One could argue that this should have been re-rolled)

Tukost advances below, but it is again a push


Scourge blocks




Mad Max one dies


And fails. That guy has to go down, if there's a pass, he is in scoring range. Re-roll!



[Sigh] Sometimes I wonder...

Turnover

It's turn #16, and the game is tense!

The opponent one dies Scotty


Knocking him out for good


The ball carrier then blitzes Tukost.


Yes, one die blocks are dangerous. The carrier is stunned, ball is thrown to the opposition touchdown line, and it's a Turnover

Unfortunately, none of our players are close enough to reach the ball and score an easy touchdown.


We'll have to settle for farming SPPs and destroying the opposing team instead.

Black Knight crowdsurfs Dolfar.


Black Knight: "Hey elfie, dodge dis!"



Blackbelt Jones crushes the opposition, but still no injury


Then Scourge takes liberty of delivering a punch to the peasant.




Bang! Straight to the kisser! But alas no injury! 

Swashmebuckle takes the last honorary foul to a Blocker.




AGAIN NO INJURY???

Click here for match outcome

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Scotty is our most valuable player, and for once I agree. The orc was a machine back there on the pitch.


He levels up, gaining Mighty Blow


It adds one to either Armor Break or to Injury roll, but not both at the same time. If armor is broken anyways, it is added to injury roll. Making it a bit more likely that either a KO or Injury results. So Scotty is our badass blitzer, while Mammothtank is the tackling blitzer, of whom you cannot dodge away.

Next time, if memory serves, we shall be playing against these guys


Meanwhile, would Scotty have a short comment on his Most Valuable Player award?

[Spoon]

I think my achievements so far have been 3? succesful blocks that didn't do any real injury and failing like countless too stupid rolls.
Amazing. This seems about exactly how I would envision myself in real life, pursuing a rugby career.

[Mika]

I think my achievements so far have been 3? succesful blocks that didn't do any real injury and failing like countless too stupid rolls.
Amazing. This seems about exactly how I would envision myself in real life, pursuing a rugby career.

Hey, that's how the Big Guys work in this game. I bought a Minotaur to a fully developed Chaos team and he has not received a single SPP yet, after like ten games. It's not like he's been useless, though.

The Orc Big Guy is different in a way that he has Armor value 9 and Regeneration, so he is clearly intended to be actually in the LOS instead of Blitzing. That's different from the others, with the exception of the Kroxigor of Lizardmen, Treeman (treant) of Wood Elves and Beast of Nurgle. Unfortunately,  the Troll also has Really Stupid, which loses his tackle zones and support on the surrounding players as he is scratching his head wondering what he was supposed to do. That's not the worst though, the Treeman can get rooted on the pitch and cannot move at all during one drive 

The Big Guy often works as a road block, preventing the access to certain area of the field, which was demonstrated in the game against the Bretonnians. So he is more like area denial player instead of a positional player.

If I were to re-start with Orcs, I'd rather go with four blitzers and two black orcs as the black orcs do not gain levels fast and buy the black orcs later. The Troll has its uses, at least as a threat of a one turn touchdown machine with the aid of a goblin.

[Scotty]

Meanwhile, would Scotty have a short comment on his Most Valuable Player award?

* Scotty walks up to the podium.

* Scotty walks away from destroyed podium.

[Mika]

HLPBowlers vs Iron Head Drillers (Dwarves), Game 5, Post #1

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Today we play against the Dorfs



So the Dorfs have Blitzers, Runners, Linedorfs and Troll Slayers. Yes, Troll Slayers, and stop gulping Spoon! You're an adult troll already! The special thing about the Troll Slayer is that he is frenzied meaning he will block twice in a row! Luckily, their team has not been able to affor a Death Roller yet.

The only other remarkable thing in addition to the fact they are all short is that their players are skilled from the beginning. They all have block and thick skull making them difficult to knock out, with the exception of the Runner. They also sport Armor 9, making them about as tough as our Black Orcs. The players with Armor 8 are Runners and Troll Slayers. You know who to hit, people.

Our advantage over the Dorfs is maneuverability. Even if their line dwarfs are the epitome of Thou Shall Not Pass, we really don't need to, we instead opt for the flanking routes and out-run them!

I fully expect casualties in this game, and that's a sacrifice I'm willing to make!

We are once again better developed and higher valued, so Dorfs go with Star Player Barik and extra re-roll.


Enter the Gladiators!


Here you can see the half naked dorfs there, these guys are Troll Slayers and are your primary targets for stemming the Dwarven thrust forwards. As you see, the Dorfs bring the tankards with them to the pitch. Beware, it is sturdier than it seems and many a times have a careless player been beaten to death with those tankards.

It's Dorfs go, so we go defensive line-up


It's apparently very sunny, so passing and catching is more difficult

 
  Pfffft!    Just as if we were to attempt passing play except under emergencies (Yes, the agility stat of 3 of the Orcs leads to 66 % probabilities in passing AND catching, so a single pass has a 43 % probability to succeed) Just waiting for that +AGI player to manifest himself from the masses...

Dorfs engage, but manage little damage except knockdowns. Everybody is fine after the first onslaught.


Our first engagement is handled by Scotty, who blitzes the right flank player in an attempt to clear way towards the ball carrier. If dorfs manage to form a cage around the ball, it's really difficult to dislodge it.


He succeeds.

Spoon then throws a block to distance himself from a Long beard (=lineman)


Those are really the relevant actions of these first two turns. Dwarves go next.

Unsurprisingly, they blitz Scotty, who goes down.


Then their Troll Slayer rolls skulls


Turnover

Our position looks pretty good, with a possible shot at the ball carrier, so we start clearing the way. Mad Max starts first.


Followed by Blackbelt


Spoon, take care of the Troll Slayer




You know I'm a bit disappointed. I somewhat expected him to fail the block and die.

Our second turn ends in pressuring the dwarven ball carrier.


While some blocks were thrown by the Dorfs, no significant events occurred, so those of you engaged seem to push each other back and forth between the turns.



Luckily, our black orc is still next to the ball carrier. You know what happens next, right?

Blackbelt, with his Block, goes first, and blocks the ball carrier. It's a great success!


The ball is knocked loose, and Black Dynamite follows the suit.


He pushes.

Mammothtank blitzes the last remainder of the standing Dwarfs within the proximity of the ball


But he wont stop there, oh no, he's gonna steal the ball!




And succeeds??!! Didn't think that would happen.

Oh, and Spoon is again being stupid, but that wont matter here.

Anybody in contact, disconnect!

Our turn ends in rather satisfying steal. Yes, we stole the ball from Dorfs on their drive.


What could possibly go wrong? We enter the Dorfs turn.

The sole free dorf blitzes Mammoth, and it's a one die


Hahaahaha!


Wait, what, they re-rolled?


Of course... Well at least Mammoth is still alive.

In addition, Scotty and Black Dynamite get punched, but that's mainly a dent to their pride.

Our turn

We stand up the fallen, and Black Knight clears the way


Swashmebuckle runs through the formed cage, having to do one (1) dodge to get the ball. He is our best shot to that, he's got Sure hands, and with 66 % probability re-rolled, he's got about 83 % probability of picking the ball up.


That being said, the probability of dodging was 66 %, which doesn't mean he will succeed.


Re-roll!

This time he manages the dodge and gets to the ball, but fails to pick it up twice in a row. That's Blood Bowl for ya!

Turnover

[Mika]

HLPBowlers vs Iron Head Drillers (Dwarven), Game 5, Post #2

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The Dorfs do not hesitate on their 5th turn. They block Blackbelt Jones, who luckily levelled up to gain a block


Thus they re-roll



Haw haw!

They manage some punches, and interestingly take also one die blocks, that's Dorfs for ya.


Our 5th turn does not start well. Black Dynamite fails a block immediately.


Re-roll!



Awww, and I was hoping for a knock out!

Mammothtank blitzes the last annoying dwarf from guarding the ball, he proceeds to assist Scotty in the upper right hand corner.


Swashmebuckle goes next, now that you've had your fun, could you pick it up now please?


He can, and proceeds to upper right hand corner to assist Scotty in a block.


Unfortunately, the Dorfs cheat and have Guard, so despite an attempt to take away the assist, this is still a one die block for Scotty. You can do it Orc!

He manages a push



Oh and introducing Spoon the Really Stupid Troll to you once again. Dude, that's a Troll Slayer, and you are a troll!

Finally, Rakmar fails a one die block and rolls a skull


Ain't gonna re-roll that, so if you injured yourself, you've had it coming anyways. Turnover

Dorfs dodge out, but Mammothtank is once again awake (thank you Tackle)


They re-roll, and succeed in the 50 % dodge. Since this is a blitz, they directly aim Swashmebuckle.

And roll a skull. 


Turnover

Our sixth turn starts with Swashmebuckle running the hell away from the dodge. He doesn't score yet, as this would reset everything back to the LoS, and nobody wants there with Dorfs.


Instead, we play time and possibly try to injure the Dorfs.

Blackbelt stuns a Trollslayer


Not much else important happens, some pushes, knock downs and such.

Dorfs go.

They blitz Black Knight




Here Mammothtank learns that a cornered dorf is the most dangerous dorf




Like-wise, Scourge learns that teasing somebody smaller than you can bite back


That's a two dice block against

Why you little

In our go, Swashmebuckle runs


Yes, this is still playing time. It's the 7th turn, and we do want to wait until 8th if dorfs have a go.

Which is a very good idea, since as Scourge blitzes the dorf from the ground, he rolls yet again double skulls.


Re-roll, come on, you only need a push!

"Hey Dorf, say hello ta ya fans!" says Scourge as the punch lifts the hapless blitzer to the crowd.


He takes one go for it to prevent the trollslayer from crowdsurfing him.

Spoon manages a block, but again no injury.


Finally, Black Dynamite double skulls.


Turnover

Wait what, the runner can reach Swashmebuckle ( totally miscounted there, Black Dynamite should not have fallen under any circumstance to block the access there)


Well he has to go through two Go For Its and succeed in a one die against somebody with block (and re-roll), what are the odds of that working? (For anybody interested, 0.83*0.83*0.55 ~ 0.38, I don't want to see the chained probability with re-roll being used somewhere else than the block action...)

Yeah, that's what the game thinks about probabilities today


The ball is out of bounds and somebody from the audience kicks it luckily close to the dwarfen finish line. Perhaps this can be salvaged still?



And they manage the pick-up at 50 %. What's wrong with these dorfs?

Finally, the Trollslayer skulls


Turnover

Since dorfs could one die blitz our ball carrier, so can we!


It's a push   

Yet again we manage no injury, and the klaxon sounds for half time!



Well if something can be said in defense of the first half, at least it was fast paced.

[Mika]

HLPBowlers vs Iron Head Drillers (Dwarven), Game 5, Post #3, Start of second half

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Second half, and it's our offense.

We employ a rather different engagement formation this time.


The idea is to fortify the LoS while providing sufficient protection for the ball carrier should the ball drop anywhere in the field.

Trollslayer kicks, and...




Fans throw a rock, stunning Black Knight. This is starting to become like the standard opening for each drive it seems.

We form a loose cage around the ball, but do not pick it up yet. What's the point, Swashmebuckle could not proceed anyways this turn much further.



That being said, commence the punching

Here's a display of skill from Scourge






He stuns Bofor (wait, didn't this happen in the first half too?)

The rest manage to deal punches, but no armor breaks. Enter Spoon


I wouldn't particularly want to stop my turn here, so Re-roll


Yeah, Spoon is a loner. Re-roll negated!

Turnover

On their turn, the dorfs press on the right hand side, but no significant deal or blows are encountered. This is because we managed to floor a significant fraction of their players last turn.

On our turn, Swashmebuckle makes it for the ball, and picks it up.


Wait, didn't I already move him there? (I apparently forgot to move him close to ball when I decided not to pick it up...)

Black Dynamite double skulls once again


Re-roll!

Re-roll is good, and the turn goes on.

Scourge is still pissed, and punches the Trollslayer. He aint gonna get anywhere near our ball carrier. Oh no, not this time!





The Trollslayer is stunned, and we end up in a rather relaxed position.


That being said, getting relaxed in Blood Bowl is usually the last mistake you'll make.

Dwarfs go, but nothing significant happens.

Thus Swasmebuckle advances towards Spoon and the lucrative front line. The dwarfs have left a gap in the middle of the pitch, and if they fail to react, they cannot reach Swashmebuckle (as ironic as that is...)


Mad Max and Blackbelt Jones gang up on the Dorfs at the border




Now that DOES look promising, eh?

Our turn ends in a perfect cage in the middle of the pitch



So dorfs, do your worst!




So Black Dynamite is out. OK.





WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? MEDIIIIIIC!



The docs check Black Knight, and it appears he just suffered from a momentary loss of heartbeat. Nothing serious they assure.



Black Knight joins the bench and re-joins the game if we score. Or if the Dorfs score, whichever comes first.

[Mika]

HLPBowlers vs Iron Head Drillers (Dwarven), Game 5, Post #4, finale

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It's now our turn

Nobody kills a Black Orc, and lives to tell the story (except Chaos maybe)

Give'em hell boyz











Can't say I envy the guy, first the sky drops on him when Blackbelt punched him, then he gets stomped and kicked by the crowd.

Mad Max educates the Blitzer likewise.




Both are Knocked Out. That's excellent. They are now lacking three players as their Star Player was discarded in the beginning of the second half.

Scotty blitzes a long beard then


Spoon is being once again Really Stupid


So Swashmebuckle and Tukost see it is the wisest to remain on the relative protection the beefcake wall on the left flank provides. Tukost screens Swashmebuckle to prevent intrusions.


Dorfs turn. They reform their lines in front of us, but manage nothing else important. Lacking players, eh?

Our turn, it's turn #13

Scotty blocks a Long beard in front of him.




Whoa you did it dude! All hail Mighty Blow!



Nice, you also career killed that dorf!

The rest of available Orcs advance on the right flank!


Spoon, we need you here, don't just stand there in the middle of dorfs, even they can stack up on ya!


OK, well not then. Talk about some people not knowing their own better.

Dorfs go.

They mount one berserker attack against Tukost, but nothing serious happens.


Running out of players, eh?

Our go, #14

We have to start advancing, so clear out the pesky Dorfs in front of you! Prevent them from getting close to the ball carrier!


Scotty and Mad Max gang on the Long Beard threatening on the backfield


He goes down.

Spoon, we REALLY need you here! Come boy, come here!


He actually does, and there's nobody near telling him that. Whoa.

Our turn ends about as abruptly as it started once Rakmar rolls a skull. Well done.


Turnover

The Trollslayer naturally pushes Tukost of the pitch. I'll get cha yet!




Spoon gets blocked by Runner. The amazing thing is that it is two dices against, and I get to pick the result.


Seeing a bit of lack of variety in here...

Our Turn #15 is initiated once again by Scotty.


He face-plants the dwarf, reducing the threat level up there considerably. Swashmebuckle advances close to finish line. Don't worry, we are not going to stall this time.

Mammothtank has been offended by them Dorfs that wont stay put. He punches the trollslayer. He punches him hard.








And of course, the crowd joins the fun!


He is only Badly hurt, but that's one less dwarf on the pitch.

Our turn #15 ends in a rather safe setting. There are no dwarfs anywhere near that could reach Swashmebuckle.


They get nothing done.

Turn #16






Yeah, that. Dorfs are two players injured and three knocked out. Take that, Thick Skulled midget!

The team forms in to a defensive formation to receive the complimentary blocks from the Dorfs.


There's just nothing what they could possibly do.

Hidden Text: Show

Whoa, nice winnings right there.


The most valuable player was Mad Max this time. He is one injury or pass away from leveling.


Swashmebuckle actually levels up!





He gets Dodge, making him the slipperiest eel in our arsenal. You'll need a direct POW to knock him down, otherwise he'll just use block to stop you, or use dodge and get pushed away. Totally annoying, I know. 

[Mika]

Next time:



Now, we have 140k spare. I think I'll sack one of the line orcs and buy a new Blitzer. Even You could become as cool as Mammothtank or Scotty, so apply today!

Additionally, the Schnakc the goblin has to retire due to his knee injury - took an elbow to the knee he exclaims.

Any takers?

[Mika]

HLPBowlers vs Tlazcotl Carnosaurus (Lizards), Game 6, intro

Coach prep talk before game:

Now team, we look in da oppositshun team



Dem are lizardmen. Big and small lizards. You stay away from da big 'uns until da small 'uns are out. Dem haz 15 playas, you'll see why. Dem lizards haz no Kroxigor, so Spoon smacks dem big lizards.

Your primary target iz wat dem lizards call "skinks"



Dem skinks haz dodge, dat makes 'em harder ta hit. You need clear POW or Skull wiv POW ta drop 'em. Provided you haz block. Dem skinks also haz Stunty like our gobbo, stunty playr dodges more easy. But dem stunty playerz also get hurt fasta.

So it iz time for skink huntin' season. Any questions?

[Mika]

HLPBowlers vs. Tlazcotl Carnosaurus (Lizards), Game 6, Post #1

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And now to the match

Introducing to you our new goblin, Squigmink


Introducing to you our new blitzer, Srihag


Here come the lizards!


We win once again the coin toss, but contrary to standard, we select to kick off first. Let the lizards come to us!


Since it is unlikely the lizards could knock the entire front line down, we settle for a reasonable defensive formation.


Swashmebuckle kicks


And the weatherman says it rains


I'd be breaking a sweat if we played the passing game. Luckily, we don't.

Blackbelt Jones is knocked down on the lizard's turn, nothing else of importance happens. They pick up the ball and progress forwards next to the line of scrimmage.


Squigmink, get to assist Mammothtank and Mad Max in their block against the big mean lizard!


Instead of POW, we take push. Yea, just do it Mammoth, thank coach later.


For the event that the next move fails, Swashmebuckle reinforces the central portion of our side. From there, he'll be able to blitz any incoming skinks if they attempt a breakthrough.


...which turns out to be unnecessary since Mad Max rolls a push. The lizard is pushed to the crowd. That'll teach you to stay next to the border of the pitch!


Mazda(!!) of Zlatlan is knocked out by the fans! Thank you fans!


Meanwhile on the right hand side, Scotty punches the skink vewy woughly.


It's a knock out! So our first turn, and two lizards are down. The numbers are indeed favoring us today. But Scotty is not satisfied yet, oh no, he's looking for more in the middle of the pitch.


Black Dynamite punches one lizard down. Good.


And Spoon is being himself once again.


On their second turn, the lizards gather their bearings, and manage to hit Scotty. He goes down but the armor holds.


For some reason, they also moved the ball carrier towards left. They form a skink cage. Yes you read it right, a skink cage. 

Mammothtank engages and clears the line. Unfortunately, no casualty here yet.


Max Max blitzes the skink behind!


Oooh ****, a cut scene, this had better be good!




And injures him! Well done! Since injury nets you two points, he has now levelled! Congratulations!

Scourge pushes the lizard away from the skinks, and Srihag reinforces our center.


Black Dynamite pushes the recently stood lizard away from LoS contact.


...while Spoon is still wondering about the world and the wonderful little water droplets dropping from the sky.


That's two first turns down. We have removed three lizards from the game, and we're looking at 8 against 11 here. 

[Mika]

HLPBowlers vs Tlazcotl Carnosaurus (Lizards), Game 6, Post #2

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Scourge and Mammoth take one for the team





Luckily, Mad Max holds, and result is a push.



Had this been a knockdown, we would have difficulties in stopping the lizardmen on the left hand flank.

Our turn, it's #3 now.

Scotty removes the lizard from the proximity of the troll.


Spoon amazingly enough decides that it's OK to listen to orders for once. He goes to threaten the ball carrier. And threaten he does, as the poor skink tries to figure out what just happened to the sun.


Srihag blitzes one skink on the right hand side of the pitch, but manages only a push.

Blackbelt Jones takes one saurus down.


Max Max, scared by the immediate prospect of getting crowdsurfed, decides to get out of dodge


He fails


Re-roll!



And he fails again.

Turnover

Lizards stand up their prone players that were just thinking about the register plates of the freight trains that went over them. They manage one interesting blitz against Spoon. That's two die against roll, and they manage to fell the troll.


That's about their turn. Given the short time they spent, I think it is a turnover but I can't see why that happened.

Spoon cooperates first and stands up. He's done that twice in a row now. Whoa. You'd almost think that 83% probability has started to work.

Blackbelt, get rid of that skink


Oh no no no, that's not good enough! Re-roll!



Man, that skink just wont go down!

Srihag, your go, get rid of that skink!


And it's a push. What do the feed to these lizards?

Mammothtank removes the immediate lizard threat.


While Squigmink and Swashmebuckle reinforce the left hand side blockade - aint gonna be easy to get through these gentlemen


Scotty and Black Dynamite decide that pushing the lizard would be a good idea now, and it is up to Scourge to demonstrate the orcish superiority.


Our fourth turn ends with the ball carrier being walled towards the left hand part of the pitch.


The futility of that walling in attempt is handily demonstrated by lizards blitzing Srihag. And succeeding. What did you expect?


The ball carrier progresses and bypasses our wall


He is followed by a supporting skink who just so happens to mark Scotty so that he can't rev the blitzing engine.


Finally, Black Dynamite takes a punch to the head, but it's no injury. Just a stun. Phew


Our fifth turn starts with Scotty. We have to take out the skinks, otherwise they'll score next turn and we cannot stop it if we don't act now.

Scotty blocks



...and stuns the assisting skink

Swashmebuckle, how you feelin' about that blitz, mate?




Oh you knocked out the skink as well? Good, very good!

Spoon lands a hit on the reinforcing saurus that just happens to be next to the spot the ball landed.




And knocks him down. Good man!

Our fifth turn ends with ball next to Spoon, and with one skink available to pick it up (sauruses have AGI 1, so you can expect them to succeed at pick-up 17 % of the time i.e. never.

[Spoon]

(sauruses have AGI 1, so you can expect them to succeed at pick-up 17 % of the time i.e. never)

That 17% chance on the other hand has rarely stopped me from being really stupid 


I love the size difference in the background. Now if only always hungry would work on skinks....
Also, I think I got water droplets in my eyes there.

[Mika]

HLPBowlers vs Tlazcotl Carnosaurus (Lizard), Game 6, Post #3

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As the Sauri are free, they flock around Spoon. Take care, Spoon!



You would, wouldn't you



The troll is down. I repeat the troll is down. He fell on the ball, which scattered behind him. Great.

But that's about all they can manage. Yes the skink attempted a one die against our goblin, but only managed a push. About time, if you ask me.

Blackbelt blocks the T-rex away.


Srihag bags another T-rex


Hey Spoon, get up and mark that last standing lizard!


Spoon: "Uhhhmmmm is dis my lefty or righty hand?"

And the troll has once again forgot how to stand up. Brilliant

Scotty eliminates the only threat that can pick up the ball. Well not exactly eliminates, but reduces the skinks movement by punching the hapless lizard to the ground.


Being the ever present scoring machine, Swashmebuckle advances forwards, alone, unprotected. He has dodge and block, remember?


This while Mammothtank picks up the ball


Attempts to pick-up the ball (Re-roll!)


And fails again. Turnover

The counterattack is swift, and Mammothtank goes down


Srihag is next on the line


It breaks his armor


Please don't die Please don't die Please don't die Please don't die

Just a stun? Get back on your feet you horrible little Orc!

And it's our go, Turn #7

Scotty blocks the skink




Black Knight and Mad Max provide some good old smacking to the lizards. Their front line crumbles, allowing another attempt at the ball


Mad Max attempts pick up


...and succeeds. Really did not see that coming. That's only two failed rolls at 50 % behind.



He goes behind the beefcake wall for some protection.

Our seventh turn leaves two lizards standing.


Eight turn for lizards

Predictably, Swashmebuckle gets the blitzing heat.


It's only a push for him, thank you dodge! (Swashmebuckle is actually ridiculously difficult to hit, you'd need two special skills to get a 33 % chance with a single die to knock him down. Without either skills, the chance you'll roll a dice that knocks him down is 1/6, while you take the chance of 2/6 for turnover)

Blackbelt on the other hand, does not have dodge


Come on, live! Live live!


And it's just a stun.

Our eight turn. Can the Orcs score is the question.

Scotty blitzes the skink that marked Swashmebuckle to shorten the running distance for Mad Max. This is gonna be a handover, if I have any say about it.


Unfortunately, the push comes from a wrong square, and it only makes things worse.

Spoon, I trust you to handle that one lizard


A push. Well at least it isn't a turnover. And at least he did something.

Black Knight seals the deal by rolling double skulls


Nope we could not score.

Now would be a good break to taste some refreshing Bloodweiser. The new Bloodweiser bite comes now without the toxic aftertaste of death!

Our emerging star Swashmebuckle is cool, and he drinks Score All The Time. If you want to be as cool as him, so should you!

[Mika]

HLPBowlers vs Tlazcotl Carnosaurus (Lizards), Game 6, Post #4, Start of second half

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We are offensive on the second half



Black Orcs block in the line of scrimmage


Mammothtank the opportunistic predator of sand seas and flatlands finds an isolated prey, and runs up to the blitzing speed




Mammothtank: "Hey did cha see that? Dem skinks spin in air when you punch dem to da face!" (Yes, for some reason the skinks really do a butterfly twist as in the action movies when they get a blocked. It's animated and looks cool)

One less skink to worry about

Spoon blocks saurus  What will he manage this time?


A clean landed hit, but no armor break

Hey Swashmebuckle old buddy old pal, you've got Sure hands, right? That means you'll automatically re-roll the failed pick-up attempt. Give it a shot!


And he proceeds failing twice in a row. Classic

Turnover

Skinks gang up on Mammothtank and the lizard finishes the deal with a three die block


Mammoth goes down. Otherwise lizards mainly advance towards our ball, and pick their bearings when the stars stop spinning.

Blackbelt Jones initiates a three die against a skink. Few things are better than hitting someone smaller than you!


The blitzers mark the flanking saurus.


Scotty marks him good


Spoon, it would be really useful if you were a couple of squares forwards


Oh well, no then.

Swashmebuckle attempts picking up the ball again


Swashmebuckle: "Hey it waz slipphery at dem rain!"

He makes it, and progresses slightly towards the opposing ends. We hand the turn over to lizards.

Three skinks and a lizard (sounds like a girl band) gang up once again against Mammothtank (and try to say that fast drunken)


It doesn't work.

One skink advances along the right flank


In our turn, Mad Max carefully approaches the skink, finds a weak spot, and sends the lizardling flying. The skink is stunned.


Blackbelt Jones takes a block against skink in the LoS (what the hell AI, what does skink do in the LoS?)




Blackbelt: "Do a flip!"

Black Dynamite blocks Saurus


No no, I said knock him down! Re-roll!



[Sigh]. Oh well

Mammothtank, get outta dodge! You can make it man!


No he couldn't.

Turnover

[Mika]

HLPBowlers vs Tlazcotl Carnosaurus (Lizard), Game 6, Post #5

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The hole in the defense is immediately noted by the lizards, and they mount a blitz against Swashmebuckle





Since Swashmebuckle is awesome, that counts as a push. You can probably hear him laughing on the futile attempts of the clumsy saurus. (Totally lucked out here. Though the likelyhood Saurus scoring a hit was comparatively low, it was still possible. 11/36 if I'm not mistaken.

That's about everything important they could do. It's our turn #12



I note that a couple of skinks have parked next to our blitzers. That would not be a good idea. That would not be a good idea at all. Actually one could call that a pretty darn bad idea.

Mad Max demonstrates


Shix is injured and remains out of the game, and Mad Max is happy. Btw "Shix"? Who names his kids "Shix"? Well, the name doesn't make the skink bad unless the skink makes the name bad, so let's not judge.

Mad Max:"Dem skinks do spin! Waaghsome!"

Srihag blocks the next skink, scoring a clean hit, but the skink just goes down.


Finally, the Mighty Blowing Scotty removes the big lizard. He is stunned.
(I have to say Scotty has got a pretty good block to floored opponent ratio this game)



The rest advance forwards and form a cage.


End of our turn #12. Lizards go.

Since they are ahem a bit scattered, they cannot mount an effective offensive, and mainly start to elf screen the cage. The problem with that is that the skinks do not make a good screening player. Especially if there's only one of them.

Scotty demonstrates





Scotty: "It haz to be dem tail!"

One less skink. I also like the way Scotty wears his blitzing claw, it's as if he was giving the finger to the skink. 5 skinks are KO, two players are injured. That's 7 out of 15, so it's going pretty well.

Srihag continues the assault




Spoon is being himself once again


Dem black boyz floor the flanking lizards on the left side, while Mammothtank attempts to dodge away from a lizard.


The reason he does that is that lizard has STR 4 and Mammothtank doesn't. No sense to remain there being punched.

The end of the 13th turn looks pretty good


The lizards block Dynamite


And fail a dodge roll with a skink. Srihag was awake, and put the blitzing glove right where it hurts





The skink is down, and it's a Turnover

[Mika]

HLPBowlers vs Tlazcotl Carnosaurus (Lizards), Game 6, Post #6

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When given a chance like this, our cage advances immediately. Think Roadrunner immediately.


Mammothtank has his eyes locked on a skink, and blocks!








Teeheehee, he maimed the opposition player. That's a career ending injury for a skink.

Spoon and dem black boyz keep the oppositshun down, but do not manage injuries.

Lizards start their #14 turn. I like what I'm seeing on the right hand side 


Lizard blitzes Mammothtank


And re-rolls double skulls that Mammoth would've survived thanks to block to a double push. Congratulations, I know the feeling. They also mark the cage with a skink.

They mark the cage with a skink.

They mark the cage with a skink???

Well no matter for me.

Mad max pushes him out on our Turn #15

Which is followed by a three dice from Black knight. Note that he has no block.


That reads: Push, push, turnover. (Second is a push because the skink has dodge)

You can do better Orc, re-roll!



Seriously??!! Push, push, push?? (Gotta love the game when it trolls you)

Swashmebuckle goes slightly more forwards, while the rest of the nearby players screen him


We hand the turn to opposition here.

Srihag is blocked, but it's a double push once again.


A skink attempts to dodge in to blitz Swashmebuckle (two dies against the skink type of desperation here...)


He fails and is stunned. Turnover