[Mika]

HLPBowlers vs Flaming Silverleaves (High Elves), Game 8, Post #5

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Mammoth does once again what he does best, and starts blitzing.




That's one stunned elf right there.

Blackbelt takes a shot to the elf next to line of scrimmage


What's it gonna be what's it gonna be what's it gonna be




It's a knock out! Well done Blackbelt!

Our eleventh turn ends in a rather tight cage formation in the center of the pitch


The elven turn is mainly again positioning players in front of us. Their blitz is against Black Dynamite, who was protecting the upper right hand corner of the cage. The blitz results in a push.

Blackbelt Jones blitzes first in our turn.


Black Dynamite pushes the opposition further.

Spoon, reinforce the right hand side of the cage.


And our 12th turn ends with a tight cage, come and try to steal the ball away from us!


The elves block Scourge, who goes down, but not out. They also dodge two players away, but that's about it really.

Our 13th turn sees Mad Max blocking elf once again to ground.

Then Mammothtank blocks


Oh, what's it this time?




Badly Hurt. Good enough, and congratulations of those 2 SPPs Mammoth.

In preparation of our assault through right hand side, Spoon advances


He's really been a good boy this time.

For a chance of SPPs, Scotty blitzes the isolated elf lineman. (And shouldn't that be a line elf?)

Gobbo, go kick that elf while he is down!




Oh, now that's interesting!



A niggling injury?   

They use apothecary and re-roll the injury. It's a no casualty, and the blitzer is free to roam once again.

Unfortunately, also the Referee saw that, and for once orders the gobbo out of the pitch.


Get your pitchforks ready, that referee will have something to watch out for after the match. Think he is going to be taken by the Referee Protection Program, reserved for those referees that make the right call.

Turnover

[Mika]

HLPBowlers vs Flaming Silverleaves (High Elves), Game 8, Post #6, finale

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Given the sudden lack of players, the opposition turn #13 is quite ineffective.

They mount one blitz against Mammothtank.



Mammoth goes down, but that's about it.

Our turn #14.

Since elves went to the right side, we have to get the cage moving left. Blackbelt blitzes to clear room.




That's not good enough! Re-roll!



Good, now let the cage advance to the left!

Hey Spoon, get your ass over here!


Spoon: Uhhhmmmm?

That's about our turn #14.

The elves blitz Black Dynamite, still guarding the right hand corner of the cage. This is because Spoon is being Really Stupid, and forgets also to tackle the player running around him.


It's a push, but leads to another block by another line elf.

Who doesn't miss




Dynamite is once again Badly Hurt. With turn #14 running past, I ain't gonna Apo that. You never know what happens on the last turn.

Our turn.

I'll add this picture to show a historical event. Spoon is asked to move without anybody being next to him. He complies! It's madness!


Mad Max double skulls a block


Re-roll!



Mammoth blitzes forwards


He clears out the elf, and forms the upper left corner of the cage (I know I know, I should count the tiles more carefully...)

Swashmebuckle goes to the center of the cage.


Our 15th turn ends with the cage breaking through on the left hand side, but the cage is painfully close to the line of scrimmage.


On their turn, elves once again screen, but given the lack of players, the screen is incomplete, and we can punch through.

However, on our 16th turn my mistake becomes apparent. Mammothtank is one tile too far away from being able to score. Thus the game will end in bashing, with the hopes of scoring a second touch down smashed.

Scotty blitzes (yes, he blitzes since he needs to level up)


Whoa dude!


You just killed their lineman! They cannot Apo that since their Apo is already spent to the niggling injury!

Spoon moves in to cage up a little more


The final turn

The elves block a couple of players, with the most significant being this






He's just Badly Hurt. No Apo this time then.

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Click here to see the match outcome

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The game ends in 1-0 for us.


The MVP is Srihag, who levels up.


That's the distribution of SPPs here.


Srihag rolls a two and a two (a double), and has access to Agility skills which isn't normally the case for Orcs. He learns dodge to make him just that one bit harder to hit.


And given the amount of cash we have, to keep team value low, we invest in the stadium for more impressive estate of this sport.

----------------------

Should have been more aggressive against those elves to score that 2-0 victory. Which is somewhat offset by two elven deaths. The Black Orcs are apparently really difficult to level up, as they have Agility 2, which makes it very risky to pass them a ball. So they mainly level from MVP and injuries. Which aren't apparently happening for them when they get injured all the time.

[Mika]

Apologies for sporadic updates with respect to the team, this is because I've switched jobs and partially moved to another location. The internet access has been somewhat limited, due to me not wanting to use the company laptop to do this. Since I'm home this weekend, I'll try to update two more games - however, 1st of May is looming in the horizon, with possible option of me experiencing self induced headache on Sunday.

[Mika]

HLPBowlers vs Flaming Gladiators (High Elves), Game 9, Post #1

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Alright, let's get dangerous again!

We are again play against the High Elves. The snobs. The high and mighty. The rich bastards. You know the deal.

Flaming Gladiators? Now what sort of team name is that?


The elves do not have anything specifically worrying skill, so we start the match.

We win the kick off event, and just as before, we select to kick the ball. This drive, I want the elves to come to us, and if they score, I want them to do it fast so there's time to catch up.


This is our line up here:


And Swashmebuckle kicks!

The kick-off event is Quick snap, which doesn't cause us any harm since we are the Orcs, and we like the players to be in contact.


Mammothtank gets blitzed, but it's a push.


Then the elves block Black Knight who is once again down.


Having picked up the ball and formed the cage, that's what the elves got done in their turn. It's ours go now!

Mammothtank flattens the elf:


Sadly no injury

Spoon agrees for once to reinforce the immediate front of the impending elf cage.


Srihag reinforces right hand side of the defensive line. Scotty follows close behind.


Our first turn ends in a tight defensive line-up.


Since their lineman was conveniently pinched against the border of the pitch, the elves attempt to dodge him away. Mammothtank is awake, and does not let that happen.


He actually injures the elf in the tackle. It's a pinched nerve, so their blitzer will miss the next game.

And harsh is Blood Bowl. Any moment a single failure happens, it's an immediate Turnover

Scourge immediately takes advantage of this and floor one elf.


Once again, no injury. Come on dude!

Mighty blowin' Mammoth blitzes the bottom left hand corner of the cage.


He knocks the elf down, but that's about it.

Hey Spoon, would you kindly block that one elf there?


Oh good, he obeys



[Sigh]

Turnover

Like I was saying, the wind direction changes frighteningly fast in Blood bowl.

The elves then try to dodge away from Mammoth.


Which turns out to be a bad idea.

Turnover

So that's elves failing two dodges in a row. Mammoth is on a roll!

Scourge is sandwiching another elf against the pitch border. He takes a punch!








I don't know which one of those I'd take, a punch by a Black Orc or the audience jumping on me. But both at the same time? It's a knock out! Gotta love the referee looking at the block and noddin', yup, that's a clean block right there.

The troll, well, is trolling once again


Black Knight demonstrates the significance of having Block by rolling double skulls. Had he had block, the elf would've gone down! But alas, it's not meant to be!


Re-roll! And it's a push!

Scotty then blitzes the ball carrier with a one die. And pushes.

We end our third turn by leaving the elves in the middle of a smack down zone. Prepare for the pain!


The elves turn sees a two die block against Black Dynamite. It's a double skull once again. And Dynamite either doesn't have block, so it's both down.


And turnover. Man these turnovers are getting ridiculous.

Spoon, get up.


I'm starting to think about a theme song for Spoon. How's this:

Keep trollin', trollin', trollin'
Though the streams are swollen
Keep them dogies trollin'

Mad Max is luckily competent and strips the ball carrier of one defender


He stuns the hapless elf

Which is followed by a timely block from Blackbelt


Which is a knock out. Come on guys. You just need to roll one better to get levelled up!

Meanwhile, Scotty fowcibly wemoves the ball from the fingewnuts of the high elf. Vewy fowcibly. No injury, though.


Next, Mammoth blitzes, with the aim of just pushing the tackling player away.


Well you can knock him down as well if you want to.

He then does next something unexpected - he attempts to pick-up the ball! Come on 2/3 here!


He fails the pick-up. Re-roll!

And it strangely succeeds, given the amount of double skulls in this game I totally expected that to be two failures in a row.

The rest of the available players mark those elf players still standing.


That's our fourth turn right there.

[Mika]

HLPBowlers vs Flaming Gladiators (High Elves), Game 9, Post #2

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It's the fifth turn for the elves. They dodge away from the gentle looming blitzers, no doubt trying to blitz Mammothtank.



But...


...they need to re-roll the dodge...



...which didn't help.

Turnover Dafuq game? Elves failing dodges left and right? What's the world coming to?

Mammothtank advances to a position to a score.


You remember that one game where we left that one Dwarf runner to blitz the ball carrier, which he did and succeeded after two go for its? This ain't that sort of game!

We pretty much flatten the elves close enough to reach Mammothtank.


But so many punches, yet the elves are probably laughing on the ground for such weak blocks coming from the Orcs.

On their sixth turn, the elves indeed remain pacified, and manage only one block against Black Knight, who of course, goes down due to lack of block.


Mad Max and Srihag play tag team here with the elf catcher. The insolence of flooring a Black Orc must be paid back!

Mad Max pushes


And Srihag finalizes the deal


Scotty and Swashmebuckle repeat the same for the elf lineman close enough to blitz Mammoth.


And yes, we are playing time once again. All elf has to remain prone on the ground until 8th turn. There's no way I'm giving them any chance of scoring!

The rest of the turn is just smacking elves down on the proximity of the Line of Scrimmage, where they are too far away to ever reach Mammoth. And the smacking? That's because I want the Orcs to level up. The problem is, they don't.

The elves seventh turn starts.

A prone elf blitzes Swashmebuckle


He receives a wrist punch to the face


And is knocked out


Don't tell me this is one of those games where we get outbashed by the zoggin' High Elves??!!

Luckily, rest of their players are just moving to improve the positioning. It's a bit too late now, elves.

Black Dynamite blocks one elf



Oh goodie, a cut-scene! Whatisitgonnabewhatisitgonnabe


A stun. Pfffft

Mad Max floors another one, but right now I'm looking at very distinct lack of injury given the amount of punches we've delivered in this game.

Mammothtank looks around and sees the oncoming elves.

Screw it. I'm gonna score.




So we are back to kicking the ball once again. The elfs have one turn left, during which they cannot score. Unless there's a riot. (Or they chainpush, but AI doesn't do that)


Swashmebuckle kicks


Please don't be a riot please dont' be a riot please don't be a riot

Apparently, we coaches are brilliant


It's just that the players suck.

You know the old saying easy come easy go? Well, this is evidenced by the elves, who fail their first pick-up roll.



Re-roll! And it succeeds!

After which they blitz Black Orc "The blitz magnet" Scourge


He goes down.

And that's about it. The elves fail a dodge roll, causing turnover. But our blocks on turn eight are no better, and the elves stand laughing at the "green terror" of the HLPBowlers.



So it's half time.

[Mika]

HLPBowlers vs Flaming Gladiators (High Elves), Game 9, Post #3, Start of second half

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The second half starts with our offensive



The positioning is there just to provide maximum muscle coverage, so that we literally have a beefcake wall from border to border on the line of scrimmage. The strategy? Beat everything that moves!

The kick off event is nice weather.


That's nice.

Scourge blocks first to clear line towards the elf near the border. This is followed by blitzing Mammothtank.



He floors the elf.

Scotty screens the bottom right corner of the ball handling area.


Squikmink picks up the ball


He continues to the warm comforting not to mention sweaty presence of the beefcake Black Orcs


Amazingly, that didn't even require a re-roll

Black Dynamite and Knight throw their blocks, but due to lack of Block, they have to settle with pushes. At least it's not a turnover.

Spoon surprisingly, throws a successful block. That's... unexpected.


He stuns the receiving elf.


That on the other hand, was less than surprising.

The ninth turn of the elves is short. They dodge away the elf that's pinched between the border and Mammothtank. But Mammoth doesn't care.



Note to myself: having an Orc with Tackle is extremely painful for the elves.

Turnover

We immediately advance, Srihag leads by blitzing


He stuns the elf.

Spoon once again co-operates by moving to a place where he can be the maximum nuisance.


Thank you for your co-operation.

Squikmink proceeds to the center of the cage.


Our tenth turn ends in the goblin being protected with a tight cage, made of Black Orcs and Spoon.


The elves blitz the right hand bottom of the cage. Stay strong Scotty!



He actually does!



Turnover

Whoa, that was fast. I have to say that the AI is ridiculously unlucky in this game. But so are we regarding injuries.

Our eleventh turn consists of clearing the cage of the surrounding elves. They go prone, but no significant events occured, until...


Scotty stuns the elf marking him.

The outcome of the eleventh turn is handily demonstrated in this screen shot


The elves are trying to contain the Orcs, but the Orc cage protecting the goblin is too strong for them to break.

Finally, they one die Scotty, who also goes prone.

On turn 12, we lead with Scotty blitzing another elf.


He drops the elf, and advances to right.

The ball follows


After pushes and some disappointing smacking, our 12th turn ends with Scourge closing the cage left bottom corner.


The elves reposition and attempt to surround the cage the best they can. Finally, they attempt blitzing the ball carrier.



That's not a very good probability move right there.





Re-roll!

Followed by fail


Turnover

Perhaps the AI felt this was the best option to intercept the ball? That was a one die block against a goblin with roughly 21/36 chance of succeeding the 50/50 dodge with a re-roll.

[Mika]

HLPBowlers vs Flaming Gladiators (High Elves), Game 9, Post #4

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The other's unfortune is typically other's fortune, and Blood Bowl would make a literal case of this. We happily accept the turn over and start smacking the elves.

Since he has block, Blackbelt goes first




One KO coming right up!

The rest of the turn is pretty much spent in knocking the elves down. But no injuries.

Swashmebuckle ends our 13th turn with a well-timed push.


The elves gather around Black Dynamite and blitz him!


They roll double skulls. Double clear skulls, so no block helps here.


Turnover

What is this? Who gets the most turnovers competition or what?

In our 14th turn, after a couple of non-injuring blocks, our ball cage advances quite far.


Swashmebuckle takes advantage of his recent Dodge skill, and dodges away from the elves. Luckily he has Dodge, because the skill was needed.


Somebody standing next to him, it's easier to command Spoon. He is far more co-operative then. Spoon, block that elf!



Uh-uh



Seriously, how the hell did you manage to knock yourself out??!!

Turnover

The elves blitz the goblin.


It's a push. The luck in this game, it's amazing!

In our 15th turn, Blackbelt Jones takes a look at the elf who blitzed and laughs: "Hur hur Pipsquak!"

He very nearly manages to **** up a three die block, though.


It's a push.

Black Knight follows with a crowd surf


And not a scratch on that elf??!!

Mammothtank takes a two die block near the line of scrimmage. Two clear POWs is the result, and the choice is obvious.


He only manages to look slightly deranged on this action shot


Squikmink, go go go


Argh, not the hip thrusting victory dance!


So, we kick off once again. But the elves have only two turns, so I'd say the game is in the bag.

The beefcake wall is once again needed in the LoS.


The elves blitz Scotty.



Which would have been a turnover  had they not re-rolled it into a double push.

Which, however, is followed by a failed dodge and the consequent turnover


Seriously, what the hell elves? You normally dodge these things with an assured smile! Then again, we normally injure opposition, and it definitely ain't Sparta here today.

The goblin gets the fouling turn. Go kick'em while they're down son!



Yes, that's 83 % probability of breaking the armor right there.



Which nets him the red card


The gobbo is out, and it's a turnover

We couldn't hurt them even on a foul 

The elves 16th turn is about as ineffective as they have been throughout the game. The final number stands at 2-0, with both sides being once again disappointed.

Click here for the match outcome

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The game nets us some hard cash


Mad Max gets the MVP, and levels up. The SPPs are distributed along Mad Max, Squigmink and Mammothtank

Mad Max level up skill, well, you'll see it next time when we go once again against the Dorfs!

[Mika]

HLPBowlers vs Copper Axes (Dwarves), Game 10, Post #1

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Alrighty, it's MATCH TIME once again

But I do have to say I don't like the look Mad Max has. He has that strange big eye thing going again. Did somebody put something strange to his food or drink?

Mad Max: I DON'T look StrANgE! THERE'S NOTHING WRONG IN ME!

Well, he can stand and run, so I see no reason why he should not be allowed to the pitch.

Let's have a look at the Dorf team:


Hmmm. They already have some guard. This is a very annoying skill which allows all the adjacent players to join their forces to a block action regardless if they are marked or not.

So, let's start the match.


Given that our team is much more valuable (HAH!) the dorfs have quite a bit of inducement money available. They get one extra dorf (Journeyman who has Loner) and go with Halfling Master Chef. That's also very annoying. It rolls dice to check how many re-rolls we lose, and how many Dorfs gain.

We lose the coin toss, and get the receiving end of the fist. Oh well, we deploy to the beefcake formation.


Swashmebuckle kicks...


...and once again it is generally acknowledged that I'm brilliant


Dorfs pick up the ball, and start their drive with assists and then blitz Scourge


Scourge falls to the pitch, but the armor holds.

The Trollslayer then blocks Blackbelt.






Ooooh no you don't Badly Hurt the only Black Orc with the Block skill. Apothecary! MEDIIIIIIIC!

Apparently, the docs misdiagnosed his condition, and he is ready to jump back to the pitch once the drive ends.


The dorfs then block Spoon. Pay close attention to the number of dice they used. One. They had 17 % chance of turn over, and 50 % chance of falling Spoon. Who goes down, due to lack of skills.



He is not injured, though. Finally, Black Dynamite goes down as well.

So let met get this straight: on their first turn, the Dorfs felled Scourge, injured Blackbelt Jones, dropped Spoon, and knocked down Black Dynamite. Talk about the beefcake wall here!

On our first turn, we immediately apply pressure to the left hand flank. We have to stop Dorfs from forming a cage, otherwise it's going to be very difficult to steal the ball!


Squigmink assists, Mad Max blitzes.

Mad Max: Me Blitz! WAAAAAAGH!



That's right, Mad Max has entered fey mood. Mad Max has gone stark raving mad! Mad Max is frenzied, and will from now on throw two blocks in a row! He punches the Dorf down. Hard. I'm sort of surprised Mad Max didn't grow three times more muscular and rip off his shirt!

Scotty, surprised by the events that just unfolded in front of him, can do nothing else but run forwards towards the ball carrier


Finally, Black Knight punches one offending Dorf down. But the dorfs are sturdy little buggars with a strong armor and even stronger skull, and the opposition is still going strong.

That's our first turn done.

On their second turn, the dorfs bring the ball forwards and start forming a cage. No surprise there.


This is the last moment Scourge stood on his feet on this turn


Black Knight gets one died


And goes down.

The two die block against Spoon though, I'm sure you'll agree, was a bit risky.


Sometimes that risk is just realized. Turnover

Srihag leads our counter-strike


Scotty moves in to assists, and Mad Max blocks. Frenzied.


Man that Orc rocks now. I've to find some shrooms for him for the next game.

Mammothtank gets the honor of blitzing the ball carrier who is now pretty alone. In the dark.


He succeeds, and a) knocks the runner down and b) releases the ball from the Dorf clutches. Unfortunately the scatter is difficult, and the team concentrates on securing the ball this turn, but not picking it up.

Angered by the insolence of the Trollslayer, Black Dynamite throws a block against him.






It's a stun, but a good reminder of the Black Orc Communication (TM). You don't mess with the best without repercussions. I feel like that is a good end punctuation to our turn, and we hand it over to the dorfs.

[Mika]

HLPBowlers vs Copper Axes (Dwarves), Game 10, Post #2

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The dorfs for some incomprehensible reason, stay next to Scourge when they should be assisting the cage.  Well, I don't mind if the Dorf strength is split to several smaller pieces, there we shall win.



So basically Scourge has to take a couple of punches for the team. Stay strong Orc!

Next they get rid of Mammothtank who is guarding the ball.


The Dorf turn is abruptly ended as they skull a block against Black Knight. Holy Macaroni Batman, it's a Turnover


Mammothtank blitzes the Dorf that blitzed him. Call it karma.


Hey Spoon, go over there to secure the ball!


Spoon: Uhhhhmmm?

I've HAD it with this mo******ing troll in this mo******** team!

"Hey Spoon, check dis out!" says Swashmebuckle as he pushes the Dorf blitzer off pitch






The crowd niggles the blitzer! Swashmebuckle has probably already injured more players than Spoon, and he has only thrown a couple of blocks during these 11 games.

Scotty and Mad Max flatten the Dorfs guarding the ball, leaving Srihag with a runaway option towards the score line!



He luckily makes it. At this point I decide we have had our fun and return the turn to the Dorfs.

Scourge finally goes down, but it's just a scratched ego.


And the dorfs disperse towards the ball carrier.


They are able to circle the main group, but lack the speed to reach Srihag. This is good. The fourth turn on our side looks good from the get go.



Swashmebuckle moves in to assist a block against runner


Scotty complies, and the dorf is counting the stars


Mammothtank considers blitzing the dorfs, but this requires a dodge. 67 %, but with a team re-roll. No way Jose.


Srihag delivers




It's 1-0 on after fourth turn. The odds are against dwarves scoring. It's possible that they can do it, but unlikely. But there's no room to relax here!

We settle to the standard defensive beefcake line


Swashmebuckle does the honors once again




Ahem

The dorf runner runs up to the ball to pick it up


He fails twice in a row at 67 %! Sure Hands saves the team re-roll, but the ball is down nevertheless.

Turnover

Well well well, look who do we have here

Mad Max blitzes. He punches the dwarf twice, dangerously close to the border of the pitch. (The tactical threat of Frenzied blitzer is probably quite obvious at this point...)


Black Knight flattens one dorf to clear some space for maneuvering


Swashmebuckle reinforces the borderline position


And gobbo attempts to be useful by providing tackle zones


Scourge blocks. At this point my greed got the better of me. Push ain't good enough


Re-roll!



Aaand it's a double skull. You can't say I haven't let Black Orcs block, but they just fail and fail in a row.

Turnover

On their 6th turn, the Dorfs actually manage to pick-up the ball. They reinforce the ball carrier with one linedwarf, and block a couple of our LoS players. Also, the dude who got squeezed between the border of the pitch and Mad Max manages to push Mad Max back one tile. Despite that block being two die against him.

Our 6th turn starts by advancing Srihag


Mad Max and Mammothtank block and manage to drop the opposition to the pitch. No injuries though.

Swashmebuckle, I've got a job for ya. Go tease that ball carrier! Mark him!






Oh no you don't, re-roll!

And he makes it.

Our turn is then ended by an unfortunate blitz by Scotty. He rolls double skulls, and the re-roll being spent earlier,



Turnover

The dorfs expectedly have difficulties in getting rid of the marking players around them. They manage to push a couple of squares forward and knock down the goblin, but that's it.

Mad Max moves in to assist in the block


Scotty blitzes the ball carrier


Since Scotty has Block and the carrier doesn't, the carrier goes down, and the ball scatters.

Srihag and Mammothtank move in to secure the ball


The rest commence smacking in the LoS


Which is interrupted by Black Knight double skulling


Re-roll!

And the dorf goes down, stunned.

Our seventh turn is sealed with Black Dynamite double skulling


Turnover

Srihag, Scourge and Black Knight go down on the Dorf's turn, but they cannot secure the ball.

Our 8th turn, the final turn!

Scotty blocks the ball carrier - this had better be good, Scotty!






He injures the ball carrier! Well done Scotty!

In attempt to clear players towards the ball, Blackbelt Jones blocks the Trollslayer, pushing him on the ball. The idea is to make the ball scatter to a more preferable position.


Well, that wasn't exactly what I had in mind.

The only thing left is a Hail Mary elf bull**** play. Mammoth, go pick up the ball



Stop pointing yourself and do it!

He actually makes it!



Mammoth, dodge away and hand the ball to Swashmebuckle

Yes, take that Go For It


He makes even that!
Well, hand of the ball to Swashmebuckle


Which works.

Swashmebuckle, dodge and score!






Whoa - I can't believe my eyes! I don't even want to know the chained probability for that happening.

That was awesome. It's half-time, and we are at 2-0. Not bad at all!

[Scourge of Ages]

Ha! Take that, dorfs!

[Spoon]

Uuuuuuuuhhhmmmmm

[Mika]

HLPBowlers vs Copper Axes (Dwarves), Game 10, Post #3, Start of second half

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Alrighty, let's finish this match

The second half starts with our offensive


Note that the Halfling Master Chef has taken away our re-rolls. All of them. It reads 0 up there, check it out yourself. The dorfs have eight (8) re-rolls, as ours belong to them now.

For which reason, this is very welcome kick-off event


Dorfs kick the ball close to the LoS, so Swashmebuckle moves in to secure the ball


Mammothtank blitzes then the dorf next to the ball


The dorf is stunned


The LoS guys (except Spoon) make their blocks next. Blackbelt fells one, and Black Dynamite stuns another




I like the way Dorfs fly with their feet still in the normal standing position

After a couple of non-consequential blocks, it's time for Spoon. See the Trollslayer, Spoon the troll? Go get him boy!



Yes, it's a three die block. With such reinforcements around, it should be.



Wait what? Spoon did something useful? I mean like, really? No kidding?



With our 9th turn happily ending with a Badly Hurt Dorf, it's time to hand it over to the dorfs.

The dorfs reinforce the right side (why AI why?)


And then blitz the left hand corner, near the ball (which makes more sense)


And that's about it

Our tenth turn starts with Scourge re-establishing contact


Another push by Mammoth to move the Dorf close to the border


...which is finalized by a well timed blitz from Scotty




The dorf is stunned

Dem Black Boyz block the LoS dorfs, but nothing of importance is achieved there.

Swashmebuckle picks up the ball, and moves to a semi cage


Spoon agrees to go to guard a couple of more dwarfs


And Black Knight blocks the right hand side flanking dwarf










What? A second injury in a consequent turn! Are the Black Boyz and Spoon finally going to pull their weight, or is this just a streak of luck? Stay tuned for more!

Our turn is ended with Mad Max taking a one die against a dorf



Nope I ain't gonna re-roll that, so it's a Turnover. Learn to not roll ones.

As their first action of Turn #10, dorfs attempt to Block Srihag. Srihag has block skill, and I pick the dice. So they re-roll




Personally, I don't get it why AI did this first. There was a very small chance of that actually knocking Srihag down as I choose the dice.

And yes, that's of course a skull. Turnover.

For our 11th turn, Mammothtank advances as the last threatening dorf is down


Understandably, everyone free makes the cage.


Our pushing turn is ended with Black Dynamite rolling double skulls.


Nope, I ain't gonna re-roll that either. It just isn't worth it. Enjoy your stay in the hay, Black Dynamite!

Turnover

This is incidentally why playing without re-rolls is not a good idea.

On their 11th turn, the dorfs only manage to mount one blitz against Black Knight on the right hand side. He goes down, but isn't even stunned.



That's about it from their side. Yes, knocking dorfs down reduces their options quite a lot. Drastically even I'd venture and say.

[Mika]

HLPBowlers vs Copper Axes (Dwarves), Game 10, Post #4

Hidden Text: Show

The 12th turn starts with Swashmebuckle advancing



Naturally, the cage is formed far forwards


And now it's gonna be smacking time

Scourge blitzes


And the dorf is moved once again to the border

Blackbelt goes next




Well, I'll take that stun

Aaand that's about what we can do.



Dorfs blitz Black Knight, and it's a skull with a pow. He doesn't have block, so the one die is successful, and Black Knight is sent lying to the ground.

Mad Max gets punched as well, but no stun.

On our 13th turn, we lead with a couple of crowdsurfs




Scourge manages to push one out to greet the fans. I'd say the fans are greedy.

Srihag finalizes the deal




So long sucka. That superdwavenly tough opposition, no injuries or stuns from two crowdsurfs.

The ball is moved to the immediate vicinity of the score line


Nope, we are not going to score yet. Doing that now would mean getting punched by the dwarf team, and we don't want to go there. Yet. More players have to be removed first.

Spoon blitzes!


Our 13th turn is ended in to a rather nice and  strong position. If anything can be said, we are definitely dominating this match.


However, the 13th Dorf turn is quite inconsequential. They punch Mad Max down once again, but cannot reach our cage near the finish line.

So we start our 14th turn.

Scourge moves in to assist


And Srihag blitzes


Why this way around? Scourge has STR 4, and could have alone dealt with the dwarf if he blitzed. The problem is, he doesn't have block, while Srihag has. We want to maximize the chances of our blocks being successful and not wasting re-rolls.

He knocks down a dwarf and moves to "assist" Spoon. "Assist" meaning in this case telling Spoon what to do.

For a quick level up possibility, Swashmebuckle hands the ball of to Mammothtank (29 out of 31 already for next level)



The pass is fumbled. Re-roll!

Aaand Mammoth fumbles it again.



Turnover

The dorf's 14th turn consists of a couple of blocks, but no moving is done here. Uncharacteristically, not even successful blocks.

[Mika]

HLPBowlers vs Copper Axes (Dwarves), Game 10, Post #5

Hidden Text: Show

Our 15th turn sees Blackbelt Jones attempting to injure the Dwarf runner



No armor is broken.

Mammoth, pick that ball up will ya?





Well, that was fast.

The dwarf blitzer runs, dodging the Spoon's tackle, goes on with two Go For Its and attempts to pick-up the ball


The ball is in Mammoths tackle zone, so that's a 50 % pick-up chance.

Guess what?

The dwarf manages it, albeit with a re-roll 

And that's about their turn in the essence.

Mammothtank blocks the blitzer


The result is a push.

Then Scotty blitzes the blitzer


It ain't a knock down, so, we push him off the pitch.


The crowd then kicks the ball wherever it thinks the game would be most interesting. This time it is on the LoS.
Srihag catches the ball mid-air, and carries it now.



Spoon manages to push one tackling dorf out from the contact


Now that he is freed, Srihag goes forwards


We have to take those chances.


He ****s up the pass. Turnover

The game is ended with a dorf effing up a one die block with a re-roll against Mad Max


Turnover

Click here for the match outcome

Hidden Text: Show

Our winnings are below par, so re-roll



And we settle for even less cash.

Mammothtank gets the MVP once again.

Quite a bunch of SPPs are gained


Mammothtank, Scotty and Swashmebuckle level up. Congratulations!


Swashmebuckle gets Accurate for better passing performance


So that we avoid the little "incidents" such as in this game.

Mammothtank learns Piling On, and becomes a true Crushinator


(This skill generally has ridiculously awesome animation)

And Scotty is now a Tackling and Mighty Blowin' threat

The next game? That will be against humans.

[Spoon]

He knocks down a dwarf and moves to "assist" Spoon. "Assist" meaning in this case telling Spoon what to do.

It only took like a gazillion games, but I finally got 2 SSP. Huzzah. The troll slays the trollslayer.

[Mika]

He knocks down a dwarf and moves to "assist" Spoon. "Assist" meaning in this case telling Spoon what to do.

It only took like a gazillion games, but I finally got 2 SSP. Huzzah. The troll slays the trollslayer.

:D

The troll is strong with this one


Coach's prep talk before da next match
------------------------------------------

Now lissen up boyz

We are half way bewween da leeg season and I haf some notes of yourr per-for-man-ce
Dem notes sayz dat dis orc team plays betta when it plays like dem sissies elves
Look at youselves, dem best playas iz blitza boyz und da thrower. Dem Black Orcz haf had horribla problemz at improving. Dem troll we not discuss.

Da most decorated playa is da throwa. So bevore next game, da HLPBowlers vill train extra dodge exercizes and dis-en-gage-ment from da contact.
Da throwa must practiz throwin', not only picking, und dem blitzers must practiz catching.
You understand orcz? We are nut gunna hit the oppo-sit-shun playas or hurt dem, but we avoid battle.

It goez against da Orc instinct, but it iz da only way, and I sees dat as da best thing I can do for da team. We beat the oppositshun in da runnin' game and out-smart-ing dem.
You hear me orcz? Good get your azzes on da field and start da run!

[Mika]

Allllllright, you know what time it is now, don't you? MATCH TIME!

HLPBowlers vs Heavy Brawlers (humans), Game 11, Post #1

Hidden Text: Show

Today's match is going to be against the humans


Let's see how heavy brawlers they are now that the orcs are running!

And as is usual, HLPBowlers is more valuable, so we get inducements placed against us. Zug the Ogre, a Star Player, and a Bloodweiser babe, who helps in KO recovery.


In case you were wondering, this is the mug shot of Zug.


A charming fella

We win the coin toss, and deploy to attack formation. The black boyz and Spoon hold the center, while the blitzers blitz the flanks looking for crowdsurf possibilities.


Aaand it's a go!




Swashmebuckle moves in to form a screen for the ball


Then Blackbelt Jones blocks to release Scourge.




Who moves to secure the ball.

Mad Max marks the nearest blitzer, the greatest threat for catching the ball.


Srihag marks the right flank blitzer to remove reinforcement possibilities


And Scotty seals the deal by moving to assist Srihag, this way the humie is too weak to even one die without reinforcements. That area should now be pacified to an extent.


Mammothtank blitzes


And rolls double skulls


Looking at the turnover with steely eyes, he re-rolls the dice!







...and career kills the human blitzer by damaging his back. Well, that's an usual start for this team, but don't forget, we are still going to avoid contact as much as possible.

Spoon, would you kindly push the Ogre away from the front line?








He stuns the ogre! Hey, that's all we could ask for!

Black Dynamite seals the final gap in the ball pick-up screen


Finally, Squigmink picks-up the ball


Oh I'm sorry, did I say he picks up the ball? I meant did not pick up the ball.

Turnover

Signifcant fraction of the Heavy Brawlers turn is spent getting their players up, and moving the back field players towards the LoS. We see a couple of interesting developments

A blitzer gets closer to the ball pick-up screen


While Scotty gets blitzed




Two players and two players and a two die block? Yup, missed that Guard skill right there

And that's about their turn.

Our turn #2 starts

Frenzied Mad Max commits two blocks in a row




That's one more humie blitzer out, but the crowd is not rowdy enough to hurt him. The current ratio of players is 11 to 9. That should give us more room to run around.

Blackbelt Jones pushes the marking lineman away.


Which gives Mammothtank the much needed room to rev that blitzing engine. Push that Catcher away and clear a path!


The Catcher goes down, but is not injured


Coach: "Pass him Mammoth!"


Mammoth: "Oukkie-doukkie coach, piling on!"







HLPBowlers: "Whoa, did you see that dude??!!"

No no no no, you were supposed to pass him and move on, not pile on him!

Squigmink moves aside and let's Swashmebuckle do the honors of picking up the ball. He has Sure Hands anyways, so if the pick-up is once again fu... fumbled, team re-rolls are not going to be used.



Which isn't needed, and Swashmebuckle picks up the ball like a champ!

Finally, Srihag one dies the humie


Good, a push is all that is needed. Push him towards the border!

And that's our second turn done.

I have to say I didn't expect the humans to blitz this part of the field


The further developments are about equally unexpected


Our two blitzers are then tied to the right hand borderline, and their immediate future in the hands of the crowd looks painful.

Finally they block the route for our ball handler with an additional player


Our #3 turn starts now

Swashmebuckle moves the ball ahead


Squigmink screens the right hand flank. Feels a lot safer this way right, Swashmebuckle?


Mammothtank blitzes the same catcher




Good, the catcher is down! Keep on sliding past him!

Mammoth: "Sure coach, piling on him!"



Oh nonononono

Oh well, the catcher is stunned, so he won't bother us next turn.

Black Dynamite moves in to assist the ball handling screen.


Spoon, push the Ogre away


Yup, he rolled a double pow skull. The Ogre has Block, Spoon doesn't, Spoon goes down.


Turnover

The result of this fuc... fumble is immediately felt by Srihag who gets to say Hi to the fans






He's just badly hurt. Ok, 10-9 now.

Scotty is next in the line of fire


And as if that wasn't enough, he gets blocked once again


It's a clean hit but not towards the crowd, and Scotty remains on the pitch

The masked crusader takes one block from Zug, but he stays strong


Finally, a second catcher is moved in front of the ball cage to make scoring more difficult.



And that's the third turn down.

[Mika]

HLPBowlers vs Heavy Brawlers (Humans), Game 11, Post #2

Hidden Text: Show

Mammoth, go ahead and clear the path! Blitz the catcher!



Jump past him!


Mammoth: "Jumping on him!"

Goddammit Mammoth!





Well, that catcher is also stunned now.

The rest of the nearby players run up to re-form the cage




Mad Max floors one lineman, Scourge assists




Well not only he floored him, Mad Max also flattened him. It's 10-8 now.

Being unmarked and prone, Scotty gets the hell out of dodge


Spoon is being really stoopid once again


The idea of standing alone next to Ogre dawns on the Black Knight, so he makes a risky dodge at 50 %


And succeeds

And that's our fourth turn done.

Realizing that their players are a bit on the wrong side of the field, humans start to run towards the ball carrier


While Scotty and Black Knight have to bear the brunt of the human offensive power
The Ogre blitzes!




And Scotty goes to eat grass

And that's the Heavy Brawlers #4 turn done.

Our 5th turn is once again started with Mammothtank blitzing to clear the path



Dump the catcher, Mammoth! Go for it!

Mammoth: "Jumping on the catcher!"



HLPBowlers: "Jump on it! Jump on it!"

[Sigh]

Black Dynamite, push that catcher away!


He double skulls! Sigh. Re-roll!



This is probably the most awesome screenshot of the match


Black Dynamite: "Now itz between you and me punk! Dis can only end too wayz, and in bow of them, you go down!"



That's 10-7 now.

Scourge moves in to block access to the cage


Mad Max reinforces Swashmebuckle


Swashmebuckle moves forwards


Blackbelt and Squigmink close the bottom part of the cage




Spoon actually obeys for once and get's up even when there's no-one near by


Scotty dodges and runs away


Black Knight follows the suit


Now that's the way da play elf, Orcz!

And our fifth turn ends there

Humies are worryingly gathering players around Scotty






Then the cage gets marked


And then the Ogre blitzes Scotty




Pffff! Bahahahahahaha!

Finally their catcher dives away.


Which doesn't work as intended, as Mammoth has his eyes on the catcher.


And the fumbled dodge gets re-rolled, and catcher makes it.

That's their fifth turn done.

Seeing the crowdsurfing opportunity, Mad Max blitzes!


And you get blocked twice with this orc!


The catcher goes out, and it's 10-6 now.

Swashmebuckle moves in to a more secure position


And Black Dynamite assists


Scourge's block isn't as good as it promised to be


Black Knight takes the right hand flank of the players next to the cage


After which I immediately realize the mistake, Spoon should have moved first!


Having nobody to support his decision making, Spoon is left sucking his thumb and wondering how far he was supposed to go.

Finally, Scotty attempts to dodge away from the humies


He fails


Ain't gonna re-roll that

Turnover

Being the only player alone, the humans swarm Spoon, while the Ogre blitzes!


The troll takes one to the chin


Then the catcher attempts to block Black Knight. It's two dices against him. I know.


That gets re-rolled as I know what I'd pick!



Hur hur

It's a push, and that's all about what they could do on their #6 turn.

[Mammothtank]

Goddammit Mammoth!

I do what I want.

[Mika]

HLPBowlers vs Heavy Brawlers (Humans), Game 11, Post #3

Hidden Text: Show

Blackbelt, how you feelin' about that block? Here's your chance for SPPs!



A double skull?? Well you have block so that's ok.

Scourge, how you feelin' about the block? Here's your chance to SPPs!


[Sigh]
Black Knight finally nails it


Mammoth, blitz the blitzer so that Swashmebuckle cannot in any feasible way to be blitzed!


Oh FFS, you can do better than that!


Re-roll!





He KOs the blitzer, so it's 10-5 now.

Mad Max screens the upper right corner


While Swashmebuckle hides behind the cage


Scotty is now free, and runs to catch up the rest


That's our 7th turn right there

The Ogre blitzes Blackbelt


This time it is lucky that Blackbelt has Block. The Ogre goes down.

Turnover

It's our 8th turn

And once again we lead with a blitz. Without a re-roll, this is risky, but it's a three dice block, so the odds of failure are very low. We could do with a couple of SPPs here, so why not?







Mammoth stunned the humie! Slide on! We need more three die blocks


Mammoth: "Piling on!"



Goddammit, orc!


He injures the catcher, who is now Badly Hurt. 10-4 now.

Given that there aren't any three die blocks to be had,




Swashmebuckle SCOOOOOOORES!

And for the last part of the 8th turn, we deploy to a defensive formation


Swashmebuckle kicks the ball


And the fans throw a rock to the pitch, knocking out a humie


Humies manage two blocks, but they are inconsequential. Thus, the first half is concluded with 1-0, and some problems on fulfilling the coach's vision on how to play the game


Half time, beer and sausages!